  Part II
1615
  Dedication of Part II
To the Count of Lemos:
These days past, when sending Your Excellency my plays, that had
appeared in print before being shown on the stage, I said, if I remember well,
that Don Quixote was putting on his spurs to go and render homage to Your
Excellency. Now I say that "with his spurs, he is on his way." Should he reach
destination methinks I shall have rendered some service to Your Excellency, as
from many parts I am urged to send him off, so as to dispel the loathing and
disgust caused by another Don Quixote who, under the name of Second Part, has
run masquerading through the whole world. And he who has shown the greatest
longing for him has been the great Emperor of China, who wrote me a letter in
Chinese a month ago and sent it by a special courier. He asked me, or to be
truthful, he begged me to send him Don Quixote, for he intended to found a
college where the Spanish tongue would be taught, and it was his wish that the
book to be read should be the History of Don Quixote. He also added that I
should go and be the rector of this college. I asked the bearer if His Majesty
had afforded a sum in aid of my travel expenses. He answered, "No, not even in
thought."
"Then, brother," I replied, "you can return to your China, post
haste or at whatever haste you are bound to go, as I am not fit for so long a
travel and, besides being ill, I am very much without money, while Emperor for
Emperor and Monarch for Monarch, I have at Naples the great Count of Lemos,
who, without so many petty titles of colleges and rectorships, sustains me,
protects me and does me more favour than I can wish for."
Thus I gave him his leave and I beg mine from you, offering Your
Excellency the "Trabajos de Persiles y Sigismunda," a book I shall finish
within four months, Deo volente, and which will be either the worst or the best
that has been composed in our language, I mean of those intended for
entertainment; at which I repent of having called it the worst, for, in the
opinion of friends, it is bound to attain the summit of possible quality. May
Your Excellency return in such health that is wished you; Persiles will be
ready to kiss your hand and I your feet, being as I am, Your Excellency's most
humble servant. From Madrid, this last day of October of the year one thousand
six hundred and fifteen.
At the service of Your Excellency:
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
  The author's preface
God bless me, gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader, how eagerly
must thou be looking forward to this preface, expecting to find there
retaliation, scolding, and abuse against the author of the second Don Quixote-
I mean him who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born at Tarragona!
Well then, the truth is, I am not going to give thee that satisfaction; for,
though injuries stir up anger in humbler breasts, in mine the rule must admit
of an exception. Thou wouldst have me call him ass, fool, and malapert, but I
have no such intention; let his offence be his punishment, with his bread let
him eat it, and there's an end of it. What I cannot help taking amiss is that
he charges me with being old and one-handed, as if it had been in my power to
keep time from passing over me, or as if the loss of my hand had been brought
about in some tavern, and not on the grandest occasion the past or present has
seen, or the future can hope to see. If my wounds have no beauty to the
beholder's eye, they are, at least, honourable in the estimation of those who
know where they were received; for the soldier shows to greater advantage dead
in battle than alive in flight; and so strongly is this my feeling, that if now
it were proposed to perform an impossibility for me, I would rather have had my
share in that mighty action, than be free from my wounds this minute without
having been present at it. Those the soldier shows on his face and breast are
stars that direct others to the heaven of honour and ambition of merited
praise; and moreover it is to be observed that it is not with grey hairs that
one writes, but with the understanding, and that commonly improves with years.
I take it amiss, too, that he calls me envious, and explains to me, as if I
were ignorant, what envy is; for really and truly, of the two kinds there are,
I only know that which is holy, noble, and high-minded; and if that be so, as
it is, I am not likely to attack a priest, above all if, in addition, he holds
the rank of familiar of the Holy Office. And if he said what he did on account
of him on whose behalf it seems he spoke, he is entirely mistaken; for I
worship the genius of that person, and admire his works and his unceasing and
strenuous industry. After all, I am grateful to this gentleman, the author, for
saying that my novels are more satirical than exemplary, but that they are
good; for they could not be that unless there was a little of everything in
them.
I suspect thou wilt say that I am taking a very humble line, and
keeping myself too much within the bounds of my moderation, from a feeling that
additional suffering should not be inflicted upon a sufferer, and that what
this gentleman has to endure must doubtless be very great, as he does not dare
to come out into the open field and broad daylight, but hides his name and
disguises his country as if he had been guilty of some lese majesty. If
perchance thou shouldst come to know him, tell him from me that I do not hold
myself aggrieved; for I know well what the temptations of the devil are, and
that one of the greatest is putting it into a man's head that he can write and
print a book by which he will get as much fame as money, and as much money as
fame; and to prove it I will beg of you, in your own sprightly, pleasant way,
to tell him this story.
There was a madman in Seville who took to one of the drollest
absurdities and vagaries that ever madman in the world gave way to. It was
this: he made a tube of reed sharp at one end, and catching a dog in the
street, or wherever it might be, he with his foot held one of its legs fast,
and with his hand lifted up the other, and as best he could fixed the tube
where, by blowing, he made the dog as round as a ball; then holding it in this
position, he gave it a couple of slaps on the belly, and let it go, saying to
the bystanders (and there were always plenty of them): "Do your worships think,
now, that it is an easy thing to blow up a dog?"- Does your worship think now,
that it is an easy thing to write a book?
And if this story does not suit him, you may, dear reader, tell
him this one, which is likewise of a madman and a dog.
In Cordova there was another madman, whose way it was to carry a
piece of marble slab or a stone, not of the lightest, on his head, and when he
came upon any unwary dog he used to draw close to him and let the weight fall
right on top of him; on which the dog in a rage, barking and howling, would run
three streets without stopping. It so happened, however, that one of the dogs
he discharged his load upon was a cap-maker's dog, of which his master was very
fond. The stone came down hitting it on the head, the dog raised a yell at the
blow, the master saw the affair and was wroth, and snatching up a
measuring-yard rushed out at the madman and did not leave a sound bone in his
body, and at every stroke he gave him he said, "You dog, you thief! my lurcher!
Don't you see, you brute, that my dog is a lurcher?" and so, repeating the word
"lurcher" again and again, he sent the madman away beaten to a jelly. The
madman took the lesson to heart, and vanished, and for more than a month never
once showed himself in public; but after that he came out again with his old
trick and a heavier load than ever. He came up to where there was a dog, and
examining it very carefully without venturing to let the stone fall, he said:
"This is a lurcher; ware!" In short, all the dogs he came across, be they
mastiffs or terriers, he said were lurchers; and he discharged no more stones.
Maybe it will be the same with this historian; that he will not venture another
time to discharge the weight of his wit in books, which, being bad, are harder
than stones. Tell him, too, that I do not care a farthing for the threat he
holds out to me of depriving me of my profit by means of his book; for, to
borrow from the famous interlude of "The Perendenga," I say in answer to him,
"Long life to my lord the Veintiquatro, and Christ be with us all." Long life
to the great Conde de Lemos, whose Christian charity and well-known generosity
support me against all the strokes of my curst fortune; and long life to the
supreme benevolence of His Eminence of Toledo, Don Bernardo de Sandoval y
Rojas; and what matter if there be no printing-presses in the world, or if they
print more books against me than there are letters in the verses of Mingo
Revulgo! These two princes, unsought by any adulation or flattery of mine, of
their own goodness alone, have taken it upon them to show me kindness and
protect me, and in this I consider myself happier and richer than if Fortune
had raised me to her greatest height in the ordinary way. The poor man may
retain honour, but not the vicious; poverty may cast a cloud over nobility, but
cannot hide it altogether; and as virtue of itself sheds a certain light, even
though it be through the straits and chinks of penury, it wins the esteem of
lofty and noble spirits, and in consequence their protection. Thou needst say
no more to him, nor will I say anything more to thee, save to tell thee to bear
in mind that this Second Part of "Don Quixote" which I offer thee is cut by the
same craftsman and from the same cloth as the First, and that in it I present
thee Don Quixote continued, and at length dead and buried, so that no one may
dare to bring forward any further evidence against him, for that already
produced is sufficient; and suffice it, too, that some reputable person should
have given an account of all these shrewd lunacies of his without going into
the matter again; for abundance, even of good things, prevents them from being
valued; and scarcity, even in the case of what is bad, confers a certain value.
I was forgetting to tell thee that thou mayest expect the "Persiles," which I
am now finishing, and also the Second Part of "Galatea."
  Chapter I
Of the interview the curate and the barber had with
Don Quixote about his malady
Cide Hamete Benengeli, in the Second Part of this history, and
third sally of Don Quixote, says that the curate and the barber remained nearly
a month without seeing him, lest they should recall or bring back to his
recollection what had taken place. They did not, however, omit to visit his
niece and housekeeper, and charge them to be careful to treat him with
attention, and give him comforting things to eat, and such as were good for the
heart and the brain, whence, it was plain to see, all his misfortune proceeded.
The niece and housekeeper replied that they did so, and meant to do so with all
possible care and assiduity, for they could perceive that their master was now
and then beginning to show signs of being in his right mind. This gave great
satisfaction to the curate and the barber, for they concluded they had taken
the right course in carrying him off enchanted on the ox-cart, as has been
described in the First Part of this great as well as accurate history, in the
last chapter thereof. So they resolved to pay him a visit and test the
improvement in his condition, although they thought it almost impossible that
there could be any; and they agreed not to touch upon any point connected with
knight-errantry so as not to run the risk of reopening wounds which were still
so tender.
They came to see him consequently, and found him sitting up in bed
in a green baize waistcoat and a red Toledo cap, and so withered and dried up
that he looked as if he had been turned into a mummy. They were very cordially
received by him; they asked him after his health, and he talked to them about
himself very naturally and in very well-chosen language. In the course of their
conversation they fell to discussing what they call State-craft and systems of
government, correcting this abuse and condemning that, reforming one practice
and abolishing another, each of the three setting up for a new legislator, a
modern Lycurgus, or a brand-new Solon; and so completely did they remodel the
State, that they seemed to have thrust it into a furnace and taken out
something quite different from what they had put in; and on all the subjects
they dealt with, Don Quixote spoke with such good sense that the pair of
examiners were fully convinced that he was quite recovered and in his full
senses.
The niece and housekeeper were present at the conversation and
could not find words enough to express their thanks to God at seeing their
master so clear in his mind; the curate, however, changing his original plan,
which was to avoid touching upon matters of chivalry, resolved to test Don
Quixote's recovery thoroughly, and see whether it were genuine or not; and so,
from one subject to another, he came at last to talk of the news that had come
from the capital, and, among other things, he said it was considered certain
that the Turk was coming down with a powerful fleet, and that no one knew what
his purpose was, or when the great storm would burst; and that all Christendom
was in apprehension of this, which almost every year calls us to arms, and that
his Majesty had made provision for the security of the coasts of Naples and
Sicily and the island of Malta.
To this Don Quixote replied, "His Majesty has acted like a prudent
warrior in providing for the safety of his realms in time, so that the enemy
may not find him unprepared; but if my advice were taken I would recommend him
to adopt a measure which at present, no doubt, his Majesty is very far from
thinking of."
The moment the curate heard this he said to himself, "God keep
thee in his hand, poor Don Quixote, for it seems to me thou art precipitating
thyself from the height of thy madness into the profound abyss of thy
simplicity."
But the barber, who had the same suspicion as the curate, asked
Don Quixote what would be his advice as to the measures that he said ought to
be adopted; for perhaps it might prove to be one that would have to be added to
the list of the many impertinent suggestions that people were in the habit of
offering to princes.
"Mine, master shaver," said Don Quixote, "will not be impertinent,
but, on the contrary, pertinent."
"I don't mean that," said the barber, "but that experience has
shown that all or most of the expedients which are proposed to his Majesty are
either impossible, or absurd, or injurious to the King and to the kingdom."
"Mine, however," replied Don Quixote, "is neither impossible nor
absurd, but the easiest, the most reasonable, the readiest and most expeditious
that could suggest itself to any projector's mind."
"You take a long time to tell it, Senor Don Quixote," said the
curate.
"I don't choose to tell it here, now," said Don Quixote, "and have
it reach the ears of the lords of the council to-morrow morning, and some other
carry off the thanks and rewards of my trouble."
"For my part," said the barber, "I give my word here and before
God that I will not repeat what your worship says, to King, Rook or earthly
man- an oath I learned from the ballad of the curate, who, in the prelude, told
the king of the thief who had robbed him of the hundred gold crowns and his
pacing mule."
"I am not versed in stories," said Don Quixote; "but I know the
oath is a good one, because I know the barber to be an honest fellow."
"Even if he were not," said the curate, "I will go bail and answer
for him that in this matter he will be as silent as a dummy, under pain of
paying any penalty that may be pronounced."
"And who will be security for you, senor curate?" said Don
Quixote.
"My profession," replied the curate, "which is to keep secrets."
"Ods body!" said Don Quixote at this, "what more has his Majesty
to do but to command, by public proclamation, all the knights-errant that are
scattered over Spain to assemble on a fixed day in the capital, for even if no
more than half a dozen come, there may be one among them who alone will suffice
to destroy the entire might of the Turk. Give me your attention and follow me.
Is it, pray, any new thing for a single knight-errant to demolish an army of
two hundred thousand men, as if they all had but one throat or were made of
sugar paste? Nay, tell me, how many histories are there filled with these
marvels? If only (in an evil hour for me: I don't speak for anyone else) the
famous Don Belianis were alive now, or any one of the innumerable progeny of
Amadis of Gaul! If any these were alive today, and were to come face to face
with the Turk, by my faith, I would not give much for the Turk's chance. But
God will have regard for his people, and will provide some one, who, if not so
valiant as the knights-errant of yore, at least will not be inferior to them in
spirit; but God knows what I mean, and I say no more."
"Alas!" exclaimed the niece at this, "may I die if my master does
not want to turn knight-errant again;" to which Don Quixote replied, "A
knight-errant I shall die, and let the Turk come down or go up when he likes,
and in as strong force as he can, once more I say, God knows what I mean." But
here the barber said, "I ask your worships to give me leave to tell a short
story of something that happened in Seville, which comes so pat to the purpose
just now that I should like greatly to tell it." Don Quixote gave him leave,
and the rest prepared to listen, and he began thus:
"In the madhouse at Seville there was a man whom his relations had
placed there as being out of his mind. He was a graduate of Osuna in canon law;
but even if he had been of Salamanca, it was the opinion of most people that he
would have been mad all the same. This graduate, after some years of
confinement, took it into his head that he was sane and in his full senses, and
under this impression wrote to the Archbishop, entreating him earnestly, and in
very correct language, to have him released from the misery in which he was
living; for by God's mercy he had now recovered his lost reason, though his
relations, in order to enjoy his property, kept him there, and, in spite of the
truth, would make him out to be mad until his dying day. The Archbishop, moved
by repeated sensible, well-written letters, directed one of his chaplains to
make inquiry of the madhouse as to the truth of the licentiate's statements,
and to have an interview with the madman himself, and, if it should appear that
he was in his senses, to take him out and restore him to liberty. The chaplain
did so, and the governor assured him that the man was still mad, and that
though he often spoke like a highly intelligent person, he would in the end
break out into nonsense that in quantity and quality counterbalanced all the
sensible things he had said before, as might be easily tested by talking to
him. The chaplain resolved to try the experiment, and obtaining access to the
madman conversed with him for an hour or more, during the whole of which time
he never uttered a word that was incoherent or absurd, but, on the contrary,
spoke so rationally that the chaplain was compelled to believe him to be sane.
Among other things, he said the governor was against him, not to lose the
presents his relations made him for reporting him still mad but with lucid
intervals; and that the worst foe he had in his misfortune was his large
property; for in order to enjoy it his enemies disparaged and threw doubts upon
the mercy our Lord had shown him in turning him from a brute beast into a man.
In short, he spoke in such a way that he cast suspicion on the governor, and
made his relations appear covetous and heartless, and himself so rational that
the chaplain determined to take him away with him that the Archbishop might see
him, and ascertain for himself the truth of the matter. Yielding to this
conviction, the worthy chaplain begged the governor to have the clothes in
which the licentiate had entered the house given to him. The governor again
bade him beware of what he was doing, as the licentiate was beyond a doubt
still mad; but all his cautions and warnings were unavailing to dissuade the
chaplain from taking him away. The governor, seeing that it was the order of
the Archbishop, obeyed, and they dressed the licentiate in his own clothes,
which were new and decent. He, as soon as he saw himself clothed like one in
his senses, and divested of the appearance of a madman, entreated the chaplain
to permit him in charity to go and take leave of his comrades the madmen. The
chaplain said he would go with him to see what madmen there were in the house;
so they went upstairs, and with them some of those who were present.
Approaching a cage in which there was a furious madman, though just at that
moment calm and quiet, the licentiate said to him, 'Brother, think if you have
any commands for me, for I am going home, as God has been pleased, in his
infinite goodness and mercy, without any merit of mine, to restore me my
reason. I am now cured and in my senses, for with God's power nothing is
impossible. Have strong hope and trust in him, for as he has restored me to my
original condition, so likewise he will restore you if you trust in him. I will
take care to send you some good things to eat; and be sure you eat them; for I
would have you know I am convinced, as one who has gone through it, that all
this madness of ours comes of having the stomach empty and the brains full of
wind. Take courage! take courage! for despondency in misfortune breaks down
health and brings on death.'
"To all these words of the licentiate another madman in a cage
opposite that of the furious one was listening; and raising himself up from an
old mat on which he lay stark naked, he asked in a loud voice who it was that
was going away cured and in his senses. The licentiate answered, 'It is I,
brother, who am going; I have now no need to remain here any longer, for which
I return infinite thanks to Heaven that has had so great mercy upon me.'
"'Mind what you are saying, licentiate; don't let the devil
deceive you,' replied the madman. 'Keep quiet, stay where you are, and you will
save yourself the trouble of coming back.'
"'I know I am cured,' returned the licentiate, 'and that I shall
not have to go stations again.'
"'You cured!' said the madman; 'well, we shall see; God be with
you; but I swear to you by Jupiter, whose majesty I represent on earth, that
for this crime alone, which Seville is committing to-day in releasing you from
this house, and treating you as if you were in your senses, I shall have to
inflict such a punishment on it as will be remembered for ages and ages, amen.
Dost thou not know, thou miserable little licentiate, that I can do it, being,
as I say, Jupiter the Thunderer, who hold in my hands the fiery bolts with
which I am able and am wont to threaten and lay waste the world? But in one way
only will I punish this ignorant town, and that is by not raining upon it, nor
on any part of its district or territory, for three whole years, to be reckoned
from the day and moment when this threat is pronounced. Thou free, thou cured,
thou in thy senses! and I mad, I disordered, I bound! I will as soon think of
sending rain as of hanging myself.
"Those present stood listening to the words and exclamations of
the madman; but our licentiate, turning to the chaplain and seizing him by the
hands, said to him, 'Be not uneasy, senor; attach no importance to what this
madman has said; for if he is Jupiter and will not send rain, I, who am
Neptune, the father and god of the waters, will rain as often as it pleases me
and may be needful.'
"The governor and the bystanders laughed, and at their laughter
the chaplain was half ashamed, and he replied, 'For all that, Senor Neptune, it
will not do to vex Senor Jupiter; remain where you are, and some other day,
when there is a better opportunity and more time, we will come back for you.'
So they stripped the licentiate, and he was left where he was; and that's the
end of the story."
"So that's the story, master barber," said Don Quixote, "which
came in so pat to the purpose that you could not help telling it? Master
shaver, master shaver! how blind is he who cannot see through a sieve. Is it
possible that you do not know that comparisons of wit with wit, valour with
valour, beauty with beauty, birth with birth, are always odious and unwelcome?
I, master barber, am not Neptune, the god of the waters, nor do I try to make
anyone take me for an astute man, for I am not one. My only endeavour is to
convince the world of the mistake it makes in not reviving in itself the happy
time when the order of knight-errantry was in the field. But our depraved age
does not deserve to enjoy such a blessing as those ages enjoyed when
knights-errant took upon their shoulders the defence of kingdoms, the
protection of damsels, the succour of orphans and minors, the chastisement of
the proud, and the recompense of the humble. With the knights of these days,
for the most part, it is the damask, brocade, and rich stuffs they wear, that
rustle as they go, not the chain mail of their armour; no knight now-a-days
sleeps in the open field exposed to the inclemency of heaven, and in full
panoply from head to foot; no one now takes a nap, as they call it, without
drawing his feet out of the stirrups, and leaning upon his lance, as the
knights-errant used to do; no one now, issuing from the wood, penetrates yonder
mountains, and then treads the barren, lonely shore of the sea- mostly a
tempestuous and stormy one- and finding on the beach a little bark without
oars, sail, mast, or tackling of any kind, in the intrepidity of his heart
flings himself into it and commits himself to the wrathful billows of the deep
sea, that one moment lift him up to heaven and the next plunge him into the
depths; and opposing his breast to the irresistible gale, finds himself, when
he least expects it, three thousand leagues and more away from the place where
he embarked; and leaping ashore in a remote and unknown land has adventures
that deserve to be written, not on parchment, but on brass. But now sloth
triumphs over energy, indolence over exertion, vice over virtue, arrogance over
courage, and theory over practice in arms, which flourished and shone only in
the golden ages and in knights-errant. For tell me, who was more virtuous and
more valiant than the famous Amadis of Gaul? Who more discreet than Palmerin of
England? Who more gracious and easy than Tirante el Blanco? Who more courtly
than Lisuarte of Greece? Who more slashed or slashing than Don Belianis? Who
more intrepid than Perion of Gaul? Who more ready to face danger than
Felixmarte of Hircania? Who more sincere than Esplandian? Who more impetuous
than Don Cirongilio of Thrace? Who more bold than Rodamonte? Who more prudent
than King Sobrino? Who more daring than Reinaldos? Who more invincible than
Roland? and who more gallant and courteous than Ruggiero, from whom the dukes
of Ferrara of the present day are descended, according to Turpin in his
'Cosmography.' All these knights, and many more that I could name, senor
curate, were knights-errant, the light and glory of chivalry. These, or such as
these, I would have to carry out my plan, and in that case his Majesty would
find himself well served and would save great expense, and the Turk would be
left tearing his beard. And so I will stay where I am, as the chaplain does not
take me away; and if Jupiter, as the barber has told us, will not send rain,
here am I, and I will rain when I please. I say this that Master Basin may know
that I understand him."
"Indeed, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber, "I did not mean it
in that way, and, so help me God, my intention was good, and your worship ought
not to be vexed."
"As to whether I ought to be vexed or not," returned Don Quixote,
"I myself am the best judge."
Hereupon the curate observed, "I have hardly said a word as yet;
and I would gladly be relieved of a doubt, arising from what Don Quixote has
said, that worries and works my conscience."
"The senor curate has leave for more than that," returned Don
Quixote, "so he may declare his doubt, for it is not pleasant to have a doubt
on one's conscience."
"Well then, with that permission," said the curate, "I say my
doubt is that, all I can do, I cannot persuade myself that the whole pack of
knights-errant you, Senor Don Quixote, have mentioned, were really and truly
persons of flesh and blood, that ever lived in the world; on the contrary, I
suspect it to be all fiction, fable, and falsehood, and dreams told by men
awakened from sleep, or rather still half asleep."
"That is another mistake," replied Don Quixote, "into which many
have fallen who do not believe that there ever were such knights in the world,
and I have often, with divers people and on divers occasions, tried to expose
this almost universal error to the light of truth. Sometimes I have not been
successful in my purpose, sometimes I have, supporting it upon the shoulders of
the truth; which truth is so clear that I can almost say I have with my own
eyes seen Amadis of Gaul, who was a man of lofty stature, fair complexion, with
a handsome though black beard, of a countenance between gentle and stern in
expression, sparing of words, slow to anger, and quick to put it away from him;
and as I have depicted Amadis, so I could, I think, portray and describe all
the knights-errant that are in all the histories in the world; for by the
perception I have that they were what their histories describe, and by the
deeds they did and the dispositions they displayed, it is possible, with the
aid of sound philosophy, to deduce their features, complexion, and stature."
"How big, in your worship's opinion, may the giant Morgante have
been, Senor Don Quixote?" asked the barber.
"With regard to giants," replied Don Quixote, "opinions differ as
to whether there ever were any or not in the world; but the Holy Scripture,
which cannot err by a jot from the truth, shows us that there were, when it
gives us the history of that big Philistine, Goliath, who was seven cubits and
a half in height, which is a huge size. Likewise, in the island of Sicily,
there have been found leg-bones and arm-bones so large that their size makes it
plain that their owners were giants, and as tall as great towers; geometry puts
this fact beyond a doubt. But, for all that, I cannot speak with certainty as
to the size of Morgante, though I suspect he cannot have been very tall; and I
am inclined to be of this opinion because I find in the history in which his
deeds are particularly mentioned, that he frequently slept under a roof and as
he found houses to contain him, it is clear that his bulk could not have been
anything excessive."
"That is true," said the curate, and yielding to the enjoyment of
hearing such nonsense, he asked him what was his notion of the features of
Reinaldos of Montalban, and Don Roland and the rest of the Twelve Peers of
France, for they were all knights-errant.
"As for Reinaldos," replied Don Quixote, "I venture to say that he
was broad-faced, of ruddy complexion, with roguish and somewhat prominent eyes,
excessively punctilious and touchy, and given to the society of thieves and
scapegraces. With regard to Roland, or Rotolando, or Orlando (for the histories
call him by all these names), I am of opinion, and hold, that he was of middle
height, broad-shouldered, rather bow-legged, swarthy-complexioned, red-bearded,
with a hairy body and a severe expression of countenance, a man of few words,
but very polite and well-bred."
"If Roland was not a more graceful person than your worship has
described," said the curate, "it is no wonder that the fair Lady Angelica
rejected him and left him for the gaiety, liveliness, and grace of that
budding-bearded little Moor to whom she surrendered herself; and she showed her
sense in falling in love with the gentle softness of Medoro rather than the
roughness of Roland."
"That Angelica, senor curate," returned Don Quixote, "was a giddy
damsel, flighty and somewhat wanton, and she left the world as full of her
vagaries as of the fame of her beauty. She treated with scorn a thousand
gentlemen, men of valour and wisdom, and took up with a smooth-faced sprig of a
page, without fortune or fame, except such reputation for gratitude as the
affection he bore his friend got for him. The great poet who sang her beauty,
the famous Ariosto, not caring to sing her adventures after her contemptible
surrender (which probably were not over and above creditable), dropped her
where he says:
|
How she received the sceptre of Cathay, |
|
|
|
Some bard of defter quill may sing some day; |
|
|
and this was no doubt a kind of prophecy,
for poets are also called vates, that is to say diviners; and its truth was
made plain; for since then a famous Andalusian poet has lamented and sung her
tears, and another famous and rare poet, a Castilian, has sung her beauty."
"Tell me, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber here, "among all
those who praised her, has there been no poet to write a satire on this Lady
Angelica?"
"I can well believe," replied Don Quixote, "that if Sacripante or
Roland had been poets they would have given the damsel a trimming; for it is
naturally the way with poets who have been scorned and rejected by their
ladies, whether fictitious or not, in short by those whom they select as the
ladies of their thoughts, to avenge themselves in satires and libels- a
vengeance, to be sure, unworthy of generous hearts; but up to the present I
have not heard of any defamatory verse against the Lady Angelica, who turned
the world upside down."
"Strange," said the curate; but at this moment they heard the
housekeeper and the niece, who had previously withdrawn from the conversation,
exclaiming aloud in the courtyard, and at the noise they all ran out.
  Chapter II
Which treats of the notable altercation which Sancho
Panza had with Don Quixote's niece, and housekeeper, together with other droll
matters
The history relates that the outcry Don Quixote, the curate, and
the barber heard came from the niece and the housekeeper exclaiming to Sancho,
who was striving to force his way in to see Don Quixote while they held the
door against him, "What does the vagabond want in this house? Be off to your
own, brother, for it is you, and no one else, that delude my master, and lead
him astray, and take him tramping about the country."
To which Sancho replied, "Devil's own housekeeper! it is I who am
deluded, and led astray, and taken tramping about the country, and not thy
master! He has carried me all over the world, and you are mightily mistaken. He
enticed me away from home by a trick, promising me an island, which I am still
waiting for."
"May evil islands choke thee, thou detestable Sancho," said the
niece; "What are islands? Is it something to eat, glutton and gormandiser that
thou art?"
"It is not something to eat," replied Sancho, "but something to
govern and rule, and better than four cities or four judgeships at court."
"For all that," said the housekeeper, "you don't enter here, you
bag of mischief and sack of knavery; go govern your house and dig your
seed-patch, and give over looking for islands or shylands."
The curate and the barber listened with great amusement to the
words of the three; but Don Quixote, uneasy lest Sancho should blab and blurt
out a whole heap of mischievous stupidities, and touch upon points that might
not be altogether to his credit, called to him and made the other two hold
their tongues and let him come in. Sancho entered, and the curate and the
barber took their leave of Don Quixote, of whose recovery they despaired when
they saw how wedded he was to his crazy ideas, and how saturated with the
nonsense of his unlucky chivalry; and said the curate to the barber, "You will
see, gossip, that when we are least thinking of it, our gentleman will be off
once more for another flight."
"I have no doubt of it," returned the barber; "but I do not wonder
so much at the madness of the knight as at the simplicity of the squire, who
has such a firm belief in all that about the island, that I suppose all the
exposures that could be imagined would not get it out of his head."
"God help them," said the curate; "and let us be on the look-out
to see what comes of all these absurdities of the knight and squire, for it
seems as if they had both been cast in the same mould, and the madness of the
master without the simplicity of the man would not be worth a farthing."
"That is true," said the barber, "and I should like very much to
know what the pair are talking about at this moment."
"I promise you," said the curate, "the niece or the housekeeper
will tell us by-and-by, for they are not the ones to forget to listen."
Meanwhile Don Quixote shut himself up in his room with Sancho, and
when they were alone he said to him, "It grieves me greatly, Sancho, that thou
shouldst have said, and sayest, that I took thee out of thy cottage, when thou
knowest I did not remain in my house. We sallied forth together, we took the
road together, we wandered abroad together; we have had the same fortune and
the same luck; if they blanketed thee once, they belaboured me a hundred times,
and that is the only advantage I have of thee."
"That was only reasonable," replied Sancho, "for, by what your
worship says, misfortunes belong more properly to knights-errant than to their
squires."
"Thou art mistaken, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "according to the
maxim quando caput dolet, &c."
"I don't understand any language but my own," said Sancho.
"I mean to say," said Don Quixote, "that when the head suffers all
the members suffer; and so, being thy lord and master, I am thy head, and thou
a part of me as thou art my servant; and therefore any evil that affects or
shall affect me should give thee pain, and what affects thee give pain to me."
"It should be so," said Sancho; "but when I was blanketed as a
member, my head was on the other side of the wall, looking on while I was
flying through the air, and did not feel any pain whatever; and if the members
are obliged to feel the suffering of the head, it should be obliged to feel
their sufferings."
"Dost thou mean to say now, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that I did
not feel when they were blanketing thee? If thou dost, thou must not say so or
think so, for I felt more pain then in spirit than thou didst in body. But let
us put that aside for the present, for we shall have opportunities enough for
considering and settling the point; tell me, Sancho my friend, what do they say
about me in the village here? What do the common people think of me? What do
the hidalgos? What do the caballeros? What do they say of my valour; of my
achievements; of my courtesy? How do they treat the task I have undertaken in
reviving and restoring to the world the now forgotten order of chivalry? In
short, Sancho, I would have thee tell me all that has come to thine ears on
this subject; and thou art to tell me, without adding anything to the good or
taking away anything from the bad; for it is the duty of loyal vassals to tell
the truth to their lords just as it is and in its proper shape, not allowing
flattery to add to it or any idle deference to lessen it. And I would have thee
know, Sancho, that if the naked truth, undisguised by flattery, came to the
ears of princes, times would be different, and other ages would be reckoned
iron ages more than ours, which I hold to be the golden of these latter days.
Profit by this advice, Sancho, and report to me clearly and faithfully the
truth of what thou knowest touching what I have demanded of thee."
"That I will do with all my heart, master," replied Sancho,
"provided your worship will not be vexed at what I say, as you wish me to say
it out in all its nakedness, without putting any more clothes on it than it
came to my knowledge in."
"I will not be vexed at all," returned Don Quixote; "thou mayest
speak freely, Sancho, and without any beating about the bush."
"Well then," said he, "first of all, I have to tell you that the
common people consider your worship a mighty great madman, and me no less a
fool. The hidalgos say that, not keeping within the bounds of your quality of
gentleman, you have assumed the 'Don,' and made a knight of yourself at a jump,
with four vine-stocks and a couple of acres of land, and never a shirt to your
back. The caballeros say they do not want to have hidalgos setting up in
opposition to them, particularly squire hidalgos who polish their own shoes and
darn their black stockings with green silk."
"That," said Don Quixote, "does not apply to me, for I always go
well dressed and never patched; ragged I may be, but ragged more from the wear
and tear of arms than of time."
"As to your worship's valour, courtesy, accomplishments, and task,
there is a variety of opinions. Some say, 'mad but droll;' others, 'valiant but
unlucky;' others, 'courteous but meddling,' and then they go into such a number
of things that they don't leave a whole bone either in your worship or in
myself."
"Recollect, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that wherever virtue
exists in an eminent degree it is persecuted. Few or none of the famous men
that have lived escaped being calumniated by malice. Julius Caesar, the
boldest, wisest, and bravest of captains, was charged with being ambitious, and
not particularly cleanly in his dress, or pure in his morals. Of Alexander,
whose deeds won him the name of Great, they say that he was somewhat of a
drunkard. Of Hercules, him of the many labours, it is said that he was lewd and
luxurious. Of Don Galaor, the brother of Amadis of Gaul, it was whispered that
he was over quarrelsome, and of his brother that he was lachrymose. So that, O
Sancho, amongst all these calumnies against good men, mine may be let pass,
since they are no more than thou hast said."
"That's just where it is, body of my father!"
"Is there more, then?" asked Don Quixote.
"There's the tail to be skinned yet," said Sancho; "all so far is
cakes and fancy bread; but if your worship wants to know all about the
calumnies they bring against you, I will fetch you one this instant who can
tell you the whole of them without missing an atom; for last night the son of
Bartholomew Carrasco, who has been studying at Salamanca, came home after
having been made a bachelor, and when I went to welcome him, he told me that
your worship's history is already abroad in books, with the title of THE
INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA; and he says they mention me in it
by my own name of Sancho Panza, and the lady Dulcinea del Toboso too, and
divers things that happened to us when we were alone; so that I crossed myself
in my wonder how the historian who wrote them down could have known them."
"I promise thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the author of our
history will be some sage enchanter; for to such nothing that they choose to
write about is hidden."
"What!" said Sancho, "a sage and an enchanter! Why, the bachelor
Samson Carrasco (that is the name of him I spoke of) says the author of the
history is called Cide Hamete Berengena."
"That is a Moorish name," said Don Quixote.
"May be so," replied Sancho; "for I have heard say that the Moors
are mostly great lovers of berengenas."
"Thou must have mistaken the surname of this 'Cide'- which means
in Arabic 'Lord'- Sancho," observed Don Quixote.
"Very likely," replied Sancho, "but if your worship wishes me to
fetch the bachelor I will go for him in a twinkling."
"Thou wilt do me a great pleasure, my friend," said Don Quixote,
"for what thou hast told me has amazed me, and I shall not eat a morsel that
will agree with me until I have heard all about it."
"Then I am off for him," said Sancho; and leaving his master he
went in quest of the bachelor, with whom he returned in a short time, and, all
three together, they had a very droll colloquy.
  Chapter III
Of the laughable conversation that passed between
Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the Bachelor Samson Carrasco
Don Quixote remained very deep in thought, waiting for the
bachelor Carrasco, from whom he was to hear how he himself had been put into a
book as Sancho said; and he could not persuade himself that any such history
could be in existence, for the blood of the enemies he had slain was not yet
dry on the blade of his sword, and now they wanted to make out that his mighty
achievements were going about in print. For all that, he fancied some sage,
either a friend or an enemy, might, by the aid of magic, have given them to the
press; if a friend, in order to magnify and exalt them above the most famous
ever achieved by any knight-errant; if an enemy, to bring them to naught and
degrade them below the meanest ever recorded of any low squire, though as he
said to himself, the achievements of squires never were recorded. If, however,
it were the fact that such a history were in existence, it must necessarily,
being the story of a knight-errant, be grandiloquent, lofty, imposing, grand
and true. With this he comforted himself somewhat, though it made him
uncomfortable to think that the author was a Moor, judging by the title of
"Cide;" and that no truth was to be looked for from Moors, as they are all
impostors, cheats, and schemers. He was afraid he might have dealt with his
love affairs in some indecorous fashion, that might tend to the discredit and
prejudice of the purity of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso; he would have had him
set forth the fidelity and respect he had always observed towards her, spurning
queens, empresses, and damsels of all sorts, and keeping in check the
impetuosity of his natural impulses. Absorbed and wrapped up in these and
divers other cogitations, he was found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom Don Quixote
received with great courtesy.
The bachelor, though he was called Samson, was of no great bodily
size, but he was a very great wag; he was of a sallow complexion, but very
sharp-witted, somewhere about four-and-twenty years of age, with a round face,
a flat nose, and a large mouth, all indications of a mischievous disposition
and a love of fun and jokes; and of this he gave a sample as soon as he saw Don
Quixote, by falling on his knees before him and saying, "Let me kiss your
mightiness's hand, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, for, by the habit of St.
Peter that I wear, though I have no more than the first four orders, your
worship is one of the most famous knights-errant that have ever been, or will
be, all the world over. A blessing on Cide Hamete Benengeli, who has written
the history of your great deeds, and a double blessing on that connoisseur who
took the trouble of having it translated out of the Arabic into our Castilian
vulgar tongue for the universal entertainment of the people!"
Don Quixote made him rise, and said, "So, then, it is true that
there is a history of me, and that it was a Moor and a sage who wrote it?"
"So true is it, senor," said Samson, "that my belief is there are
more than twelve thousand volumes of the said history in print this very day.
Only ask Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where they have been printed, and
moreover there is a report that it is being printed at Antwerp, and I am
persuaded there will not be a country or language in which there will not be a
translation of it."
"One of the things," here observed Don Quixote, "that ought to
give most pleasure to a virtuous and eminent man is to find himself in his
lifetime in print and in type, familiar in people's mouths with a good name; I
say with a good name, for if it be the opposite, then there is no death to be
compared to it."
"If it goes by good name and fame," said the bachelor, "your
worship alone bears away the palm from all the knights-errant; for the Moor in
his own language, and the Christian in his, have taken care to set before us
your gallantry, your high courage in encountering dangers, your fortitude in
adversity, your patience under misfortunes as well as wounds, the purity and
continence of the platonic loves of your worship and my lady Dona Dulcinea del
Toboso-"
"I never heard my lady Dulcinea called Dona," observed Sancho
here; "nothing more than the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; so here already the
history is wrong."
"That is not an objection of any importance," replied Carrasco.
"Certainly not," said Don Quixote; "but tell me, senor bachelor,
what deeds of mine are they that are made most of in this history?"
"On that point," replied the bachelor, "opinions differ, as tastes
do; some swear by the adventure of the windmills that your worship took to be
Briareuses and giants; others by that of the fulling mills; one cries up the
description of the two armies that afterwards took the appearance of two droves
of sheep; another that of the dead body on its way to be buried at Segovia; a
third says the liberation of the galley slaves is the best of all, and a fourth
that nothing comes up to the affair with the Benedictine giants, and the battle
with the valiant Biscayan."
"Tell me, senor bachelor," said Sancho at this point, "does the
adventure with the Yanguesans come in, when our good Rocinante went hankering
after dainties?"
"The sage has left nothing in the ink-bottle," replied Samson; "he
tells all and sets down everything, even to the capers that worthy Sancho cut
in the blanket."
"I cut no capers in the blanket," returned Sancho; "in the air I
did, and more of them than I liked."
"There is no human history in the world, I suppose," said Don
Quixote, "that has not its ups and downs, but more than others such as deal
with chivalry, for they can never be entirely made up of prosperous
adventures."
"For all that," replied the bachelor, "there are those who have
read the history who say they would have been glad if the author had left out
some of the countless cudgellings that were inflicted on Senor Don Quixote in
various encounters."
"That's where the truth of the history comes in," said Sancho.
"At the same time they might fairly have passed them over in
silence," observed Don Quixote; "for there is no need of recording events which
do not change or affect the truth of a history, if they tend to bring the hero
of it into contempt. AEneas was not in truth and earnest so pious as Virgil
represents him, nor Ulysses so wise as Homer describes him."
"That is true," said Samson; "but it is one thing to write as a
poet, another to write as a historian; the poet may describe or sing things,
not as they were, but as they ought to have been; but the historian has to
write them down, not as they ought to have been, but as they were, without
adding anything to the truth or taking anything from it."
"Well then," said Sancho, "if this senor Moor goes in for telling
the truth, no doubt among my master's drubbings mine are to be found; for they
never took the measure of his worship's shoulders without doing the same for my
whole body; but I have no right to wonder at that, for, as my master himself
says, the members must share the pain of the head."
"You are a sly dog, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "i' faith, you have
no want of memory when you choose to remember."
"If I were to try to forget the thwacks they gave me," said
Sancho, "my weals would not let me, for they are still fresh on my ribs."
"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and don't interrupt the
bachelor, whom I entreat to go on and tell all that is said about me in this
history."
"And about me," said Sancho, "for they say, too, that I am one of
the principal presonages in it."
"Personages, not presonages, friend Sancho," said Samson.
"What! Another word-catcher!" said Sancho; "if that's to be the
way we shall not make an end in a lifetime."
"May God shorten mine, Sancho," returned the bachelor, "if you are
not the second person in the history, and there are even some who would rather
hear you talk than the cleverest in the whole book; though there are some, too,
who say you showed yourself over-credulous in believing there was any
possibility in the government of that island offered you by Senor Don Quixote."
"There is still sunshine on the wall," said Don Quixote; "and when
Sancho is somewhat more advanced in life, with the experience that years bring,
he will be fitter and better qualified for being a governor than he is at
present."
"By God, master," said Sancho, "the island that I cannot govern
with the years I have, I'll not be able to govern with the years of Methuselah;
the difficulty is that the said island keeps its distance somewhere, I know not
where; and not that there is any want of head in me to govern it."
"Leave it to God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for all will be and
perhaps better than you think; no leaf on the tree stirs but by God's will."
"That is true," said Samson; "and if it be God's will, there will
not be any want of a thousand islands, much less one, for Sancho to govern."
"I have seen governors in these parts," said Sancho, "that are not
to be compared to my shoe-sole; and for all that they are called 'your
lordship' and served on silver."
"Those are not governors of islands," observed Samson, "but of
other governments of an easier kind: those that govern islands must at least
know grammar."
"I could manage the gram well enough," said Sancho; "but for the
mar I have neither leaning nor liking, for I don't know what it is; but leaving
this matter of the government in God's hands, to send me wherever it may be
most to his service, I may tell you, senor bachelor Samson Carrasco, it has
pleased me beyond measure that the author of this history should have spoken of
me in such a way that what is said of me gives no offence; for, on the faith of
a true squire, if he had said anything about me that was at all unbecoming an
old Christian, such as I am, the deaf would have heard of it."
"That would be working miracles," said Samson.
"Miracles or no miracles," said Sancho, "let everyone mind how he
speaks or writes about people, and not set down at random the first thing that
comes into his head."
"One of the faults they find with this history," said the
bachelor, "is that its author inserted in it a novel called 'The Ill-advised
Curiosity;' not that it is bad or ill-told, but that it is out of place and has
nothing to do with the history of his worship Senor Don Quixote."
"I will bet the son of a dog has mixed the cabbages and the
baskets," said Sancho.
"Then, I say," said Don Quixote, "the author of my history was no
sage, but some ignorant chatterer, who, in a haphazard and heedless way, set
about writing it, let it turn out as it might, just as Orbaneja, the painter of
Ubeda, used to do, who, when they asked him what he was painting, answered,
'What it may turn out.' Sometimes he would paint a cock in such a fashion, and
so unlike, that he had to write alongside of it in Gothic letters, 'This is a
cock; and so it will be with my history, which will require a commentary to
make it intelligible."
"No fear of that," returned Samson, "for it is so plain that there
is nothing in it to puzzle over; the children turn its leaves, the young people
read it, the grown men understand it, the old folk praise it; in a word, it is
so thumbed, and read, and got by heart by people of all sorts, that the instant
they see any lean hack, they say, 'There goes Rocinante.' And those that are
most given to reading it are the pages, for there is not a lord's ante-chamber
where there is not a 'Don Quixote' to be found; one takes it up if another lays
it down; this one pounces upon it, and that begs for it. In short, the said
history is the most delightful and least injurious entertainment that has been
hitherto seen, for there is not to be found in the whole of it even the
semblance of an immodest word, or a thought that is other than Catholic."
"To write in any other way," said Don Quixote, "would not be to
write truth, but falsehood, and historians who have recourse to falsehood ought
to be burned, like those who coin false money; and I know not what could have
led the author to have recourse to novels and irrelevant stories, when he had
so much to write about in mine; no doubt he must have gone by the proverb 'with
straw or with hay, &c.,' for by merely setting forth my thoughts, my sighs,
my tears, my lofty purposes, my enterprises, he might have made a volume as
large, or larger than all the works of El Tostado would make up. In fact, the
conclusion I arrive at, senor bachelor, is, that to write histories, or books
of any kind, there is need of great judgment and a ripe understanding. To give
expression to humour, and write in a strain of graceful pleasantry, is the gift
of great geniuses. The cleverest character in comedy is the clown, for he who
would make people take him for a fool, must not be one. History is in a measure
a sacred thing, for it should be true, and where the truth is, there God is;
but notwithstanding this, there are some who write and fling books broadcast on
the world as if they were fritters."
"There is no book so bad but it has something good in it," said
the bachelor.
"No doubt of that," replied Don Quixote; "but it often happens
that those who have acquired and attained a well-deserved reputation by their
writings, lose it entirely, or damage it in some degree, when they give them to
the press."
"The reason of that," said Samson, "is, that as printed works are
examined leisurely, their faults are easily seen; and the greater the fame of
the writer, the more closely are they scrutinised. Men famous for their genius,
great poets, illustrious historians, are always, or most commonly, envied by
those who take a particular delight and pleasure in criticising the writings of
others, without having produced any of their own."
"That is no wonder," said Don Quixote; "for there are many divines
who are no good for the pulpit, but excellent in detecting the defects or
excesses of those who preach."
"All that is true, Senor Don Quixote," said Carrasco; "but I wish
such fault-finders were more lenient and less exacting, and did not pay so much
attention to the spots on the bright sun of the work they grumble at; for if
aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus, they should remember how long he remained
awake to shed the light of his work with as little shade as possible; and
perhaps it may be that what they find fault with may be moles, that sometimes
heighten the beauty of the face that bears them; and so I say very great is the
risk to which he who prints a book exposes himself, for of all impossibilities
the greatest is to write one that will satisfy and please all readers."
"That which treats of me must have pleased few," said Don Quixote.
"Quite the contrary," said the bachelor; "for, as stultorum
infinitum est numerus, innumerable are those who have relished the said
history; but some have brought a charge against the author's memory, inasmuch
as he forgot to say who the thief was who stole Sancho's Dapple; for it is not
stated there, but only to be inferred from what is set down, that he was
stolen, and a little farther on we see Sancho mounted on the same ass, without
any reappearance of it. They say, too, that he forgot to state what Sancho did
with those hundred crowns that he found in the valise in the Sierra Morena, as
he never alludes to them again, and there are many who would be glad to know
what he did with them, or what he spent them on, for it is one of the serious
omissions of the work."
"Senor Samson, I am not in a humour now for going into accounts or
explanations," said Sancho; "for there's a sinking of the stomach come over me,
and unless I doctor it with a couple of sups of the old stuff it will put me on
the thorn of Santa Lucia. I have it at home, and my old woman is waiting for
me; after dinner I'll come back, and will answer you and all the world every
question you may choose to ask, as well about the loss of the ass as about the
spending of the hundred crowns;" and without another word or waiting for a
reply he made off home.
Don Quixote begged and entreated the bachelor to stay and do
penance with him. The bachelor accepted the invitation and remained, a couple
of young pigeons were added to the ordinary fare, at dinner they talked
chivalry, Carrasco fell in with his host's humour, the banquet came to an end,
they took their afternoon sleep, Sancho returned, and their conversation was
resumed.
  Chapter IV
In which Sancho Panza gives a satisfactory reply to
the doubts and questions of the Bachelor Samson Carrasco, together with other
matters worth knowing and telling
Sancho came back to Don Quixote's house, and returning to the late
subject of conversation, he said, "As to what Senor Samson said, that he would
like to know by whom, or how, or when my ass was stolen, I say in reply that
the same night we went into the Sierra Morena, flying from the Holy Brotherhood
after that unlucky adventure of the galley slaves, and the other of the corpse
that was going to Segovia, my master and I ensconced ourselves in a thicket,
and there, my master leaning on his lance, and I seated on my Dapple, battered
and weary with the late frays we fell asleep as if it had been on four feather
mattresses; and I in particular slept so sound, that, whoever he was, he was
able to come and prop me up on four stakes, which he put under the four corners
of the pack-saddle in such a way that he left me mounted on it, and took away
Dapple from under me without my feeling it."
"That is an easy matter," said Don Quixote, "and it is no new
occurrence, for the same thing happened to Sacripante at the siege of Albracca;
the famous thief, Brunello, by the same contrivance, took his horse from
between his legs."
"Day came," continued Sancho, "and the moment I stirred the stakes
gave way and I fell to the ground with a mighty come down; I looked about for
the ass, but could not see him; the tears rushed to my eyes and I raised such a
lamentation that, if the author of our history has not put it in, he may depend
upon it he has left out a good thing. Some days after, I know not how many,
travelling with her ladyship the Princess Micomicona, I saw my ass, and mounted
upon him, in the dress of a gipsy, was that Gines de Pasamonte, the great rogue
and rascal that my master and I freed from the chain."
"That is not where the mistake is," replied Samson; "it is, that
before the ass has turned up, the author speaks of Sancho as being mounted on
it."
"I don't know what to say to that," said Sancho, "unless that the
historian made a mistake, or perhaps it might be a blunder of the printer's."
"No doubt that's it," said Samson; "but what became of the hundred
crowns? Did they vanish?"
To which Sancho answered, "I spent them for my own good, and my
wife's, and my children's, and it is they that have made my wife bear so
patiently all my wanderings on highways and byways, in the service of my
master, Don Quixote; for if after all this time I had come back to the house
without a rap and without the ass, it would have been a poor look-out for me;
and if anyone wants to know anything more about me, here I am, ready to answer
the king himself in person; and it is no affair of anyone's whether I took or
did not take, whether I spent or did not spend; for the whacks that were given
me in these journeys were to be paid for in money, even if they were valued at
no more than four maravedis apiece, another hundred crowns would not pay me for
half of them. Let each look to himself and not try to make out white black, and
black white; for each of us is as God made him, aye, and often worse."
"I will take care," said Carrasco, "to impress upon the author of
the history that, if he prints it again, he must not forget what worthy Sancho
has said, for it will raise it a good span higher."
"Is there anything else to correct in the history, senor
bachelor?" asked Don Quixote.
"No doubt there is," replied he; "but not anything that will be of
the same importance as those I have mentioned."
"Does the author promise a second part at all?" said Don Quixote.
"He does promise one," replied Samson; "but he says he has not
found it, nor does he know who has got it; and we cannot say whether it will
appear or not; and so, on that head, as some say that no second part has ever
been good, and others that enough has been already written about Don Quixote,
it is thought there will be no second part; though some, who are jovial rather
than saturnine, say, 'Let us have more Quixotades, let Don Quixote charge and
Sancho chatter, and no matter what it may turn out, we shall be satisfied with
that.'"
"And what does the author mean to do?" said Don Quixote.
"What?" replied Samson; "why, as soon as he has found the history
which he is now searching for with extraordinary diligence, he will at once
give it to the press, moved more by the profit that may accrue to him from
doing so than by any thought of praise."
Whereat Sancho observed, "The author looks for money and profit,
does he? It will he a wonder if he succeeds, for it will be only hurry, hurry,
with him, like the tailor on Easter Eve; and works done in a hurry are never
finished as perfectly as they ought to be. Let master Moor, or whatever he is,
pay attention to what he is doing, and I and my master will give him as much
grouting ready to his hand, in the way of adventures and accidents of all
sorts, as would make up not only one second part, but a hundred. The good man
fancies, no doubt, that we are fast asleep in the straw here, but let him hold
up our feet to be shod and he will see which foot it is we go lame on. All I
say is, that if my master would take my advice, we would be now afield,
redressing outrages and righting wrongs, as is the use and custom of good
knights-errant."
Sancho had hardly uttered these words when the neighing of
Rocinante fell upon their ears, which neighing Don Quixote accepted as a happy
omen, and he resolved to make another sally in three or four days from that
time. Announcing his intention to the bachelor, he asked his advice as to the
quarter in which he ought to commence his expedition, and the bachelor replied
that in his opinion he ought to go to the kingdom of Aragon, and the city of
Saragossa, where there were to be certain solemn joustings at the festival of
St. George, at which he might win renown above all the knights of Aragon, which
would be winning it above all the knights of the world. He commended his very
praiseworthy and gallant resolution, but admonished him to proceed with greater
caution in encountering dangers, because his life did not belong to him, but to
all those who had need of him to protect and aid them in their misfortunes.
"There's where it is, what I abominate, Senor Samson," said Sancho
here; "my master will attack a hundred armed men as a greedy boy would half a
dozen melons. Body of the world, senor bachelor! there is a time to attack and
a time to retreat, and it is not to be always 'Santiago, and close Spain!'
Moreover, I have heard it said (and I think by my master himself, if I remember
rightly) that the mean of valour lies between the extremes of cowardice and
rashness; and if that be so, I don't want him to fly without having good
reason, or to attack when the odds make it better not. But, above all things, I
warn my master that if he is to take me with him it must be on the condition
that he is to do all the fighting, and that I am not to be called upon to do
anything except what concerns keeping him clean and comfortable; in this I will
dance attendance on him readily; but to expect me to draw sword, even against
rascally churls of the hatchet and hood, is idle. I don't set up to be a
fighting man, Senor Samson, but only the best and most loyal squire that ever
served knight-errant; and if my master Don Quixote, in consideration of my many
faithful services, is pleased to give me some island of the many his worship
says one may stumble on in these parts, I will take it as a great favour; and
if he does not give it to me, I was born like everyone else, and a man must not
live in dependence on anyone except God; and what is more, my bread will taste
as well, and perhaps even better, without a government than if I were a
governor; and how do I know but that in these governments the devil may have
prepared some trip for me, to make me lose my footing and fall and knock my
grinders out? Sancho I was born and Sancho I mean to die. But for all that, if
heaven were to make me a fair offer of an island or something else of the kind,
without much trouble and without much risk, I am not such a fool as to refuse
it; for they say, too, 'when they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; and
'when good luck comes to thee, take it in.'"
"Brother Sancho," said Carrasco, "you have spoken like a
professor; but, for all that, put your trust in God and in Senor Don Quixote,
for he will give you a kingdom, not to say an island."
"It is all the same, be it more or be it less," replied Sancho;
"though I can tell Senor Carrasco that my master would not throw the kingdom he
might give me into a sack all in holes; for I have felt my own pulse and I find
myself sound enough to rule kingdoms and govern islands; and I have before now
told my master as much."
"Take care, Sancho," said Samson; "honours change manners, and
perhaps when you find yourself a governor you won't know the mother that bore
you."
"That may hold good of those that are born in the ditches," said
Sancho, "not of those who have the fat of an old Christian four fingers deep on
their souls, as I have. Nay, only look at my disposition, is that likely to
show ingratitude to anyone?"
"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "we shall see when the
government comes; and I seem to see it already."
He then begged the bachelor, if he were a poet, to do him the
favour of composing some verses for him conveying the farewell he meant to take
of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, and to see that a letter of her name was
placed at the beginning of each line, so that, at the end of the verses,
"Dulcinea del Toboso" might be read by putting together the first letters. The
bachelor replied that although he was not one of the famous poets of Spain, who
were, they said, only three and a half, he would not fail to compose the
required verses; though he saw a great difficulty in the task, as the letters
which made up the name were seventeen; so, if he made four ballad stanzas of
four lines each, there would be a letter over, and if he made them of five,
what they called decimas or redondillas, there were three letters short;
nevertheless he would try to drop a letter as well as he could, so that the
name "Dulcinea del Toboso" might be got into four ballad stanzas.
"It must be, by some means or other," said Don Quixote, "for
unless the name stands there plain and manifest, no woman would believe the
verses were made for her."
They agreed upon this, and that the departure should take place in
three days from that time. Don Quixote charged the bachelor to keep it a
secret, especially from the curate and Master Nicholas, and from his niece and
the housekeeper, lest they should prevent the execution of his praiseworthy and
valiant purpose. Carrasco promised all, and then took his leave, charging Don
Quixote to inform him of his good or evil fortunes whenever he had an
opportunity; and thus they bade each other farewell, and Sancho went away to
make the necessary preparations for their expedition.
  Chapter V
Of the shrewd and droll conversation that passed
between Sancho Panza and his wife Teresa Panza, and other matters worthy of
being duly recorded
The translator of this history, when he comes to write this fifth
chapter, says that he considers it apocryphal, because in it Sancho Panza
speaks in a style unlike that which might have been expected from his limited
intelligence, and says things so subtle that he does not think it possible he
could have conceived them; however, desirous of doing what his task imposed
upon him, he was unwilling to leave it untranslated, and therefore he went on
to say:
Sancho came home in such glee and spirits that his wife noticed
his happiness a bowshot off, so much so that it made her ask him, "What have
you got, Sancho friend, that you are so glad?" To which he replied, "Wife, if
it were God's will, I should be very glad not to be so well pleased as I show
myself."
"I don't understand you, husband," said she, "and I don't know
what you mean by saying you would be glad, if it were God's will, not to be
well pleased; for, fool as I am, I don't know how one can find pleasure in not
having it."
"Hark ye, Teresa," replied Sancho, "I am glad because I have made
up my mind to go back to the service of my master Don Quixote, who means to go
out a third time to seek for adventures; and I am going with him again, for my
necessities will have it so, and also the hope that cheers me with the thought
that I may find another hundred crowns like those we have spent; though it
makes me sad to have to leave thee and the children; and if God would be
pleased to let me have my daily bread, dry-shod and at home, without taking me
out into the byways and cross-roads- and he could do it at small cost by merely
willing it- it is clear my happiness would be more solid and lasting, for the
happiness I have is mingled with sorrow at leaving thee; so that I was right in
saying I would be glad, if it were God's will, not to be well pleased."
"Look here, Sancho," said Teresa; "ever since you joined on to a
knight-errant you talk in such a roundabout way that there is no understanding
you."
"It is enough that God understands me, wife," replied Sancho; "for
he is the understander of all things; that will do; but mind, sister, you must
look to Dapple carefully for the next three days, so that he may be fit to take
arms; double his feed, and see to the pack-saddle and other harness, for it is
not to a wedding we are bound, but to go round the world, and play at give and
take with giants and dragons and monsters, and hear hissings and roarings and
bellowings and howlings; and even all this would be lavender, if we had not to
reckon with Yanguesans and enchanted Moors."
"I know well enough, husband," said Teresa, "that squires-errant
don't eat their bread for nothing, and so I will be always praying to our Lord
to deliver you speedily from all that hard fortune."
"I can tell you, wife," said Sancho, "if I did not expect to see
myself governor of an island before long, I would drop down dead on the
spot."
"Nay, then, husband," said Teresa; "let the hen live, though it be
with her pip, live, and let the devil take all the governments in the world;
you came out of your mother's womb without a government, you have lived until
now without a government, and when it is God's will you will go, or be carried,
to your grave without a government. How many there are in the world who live
without a government, and continue to live all the same, and are reckoned in
the number of the people. The best sauce in the world is hunger, and as the
poor are never without that, they always eat with a relish. But mind, Sancho,
if by good luck you should find yourself with some government, don't forget me
and your children. Remember that Sanchico is now full fifteen, and it is right
he should go to school, if his uncle the abbot has a mind to have him trained
for the Church. Consider, too, that your daughter Mari-Sancha will not die of
grief if we marry her; for I have my suspicions that she is as eager to get a
husband as you to get a government; and, after all, a daughter looks better ill
married than well whored."
"By my faith," replied Sancho, "if God brings me to get any sort
of a government, I intend, wife, to make such a high match for Mari-Sancha that
there will be no approaching her without calling her 'my lady."
"Nay, Sancho," returned Teresa; "marry her to her equal, that is
the safest plan; for if you put her out of wooden clogs into high-heeled shoes,
out of her grey flannel petticoat into hoops and silk gowns, out of the plain
'Marica' and 'thou,' into 'Dona So-and-so' and 'my lady,' the girl won't know
where she is, and at every turn she will fall into a thousand blunders that
will show the thread of her coarse homespun stuff."
"Tut, you fool," said Sancho; "it will be only to practise it for
two or three years; and then dignity and decorum will fit her as easily as a
glove; and if not, what matter? Let her he 'my lady,' and never mind what
happens."
"Keep to your own station, Sancho," replied Teresa; "don't try to
raise yourself higher, and bear in mind the proverb that says, 'wipe the nose
of your neigbbour's son, and take him into your house.' A fine thing it would
be, indeed, to marry our Maria to some great count or grand gentleman, who,
when the humour took him, would abuse her and call her clown-bred and
clodhopper's daughter and spinning wench. I have not been bringing up my
daughter for that all this time, I can tell you, husband. Do you bring home
money, Sancho, and leave marrying her to my care; there is Lope Tocho, Juan
Tocho's son, a stout, sturdy young fellow that we know, and I can see he does
not look sour at the girl; and with him, one of our own sort, she will be well
married, and we shall have her always under our eyes, and be all one family,
parents and children, grandchildren and sons-in-law, and the peace and blessing
of God will dwell among us; so don't you go marrying her in those courts and
grand palaces where they won't know what to make of her, or she what to make of
herself."
"Why, you idiot and wife for Barabbas," said Sancho, "what do you
mean by trying, without why or wherefore, to keep me from marrying my daughter
to one who will give me grandchildren that will be called 'your lordship'? Look
ye, Teresa, I have always heard my elders say that he who does not know how to
take advantage of luck when it comes to him, has no right to complain if it
gives him the go-by; and now that it is knocking at our door, it will not do to
shut it out; let us go with the favouring breeze that blows upon us."
It is this sort of talk, and what Sancho says lower down, that
made the translator of the history say he considered this chapter apocryphal.
"Don't you see, you animal," continued Sancho, "that it will be
well for me to drop into some profitable government that will lift us out of
the mire, and marry Mari-Sancha to whom I like; and you yourself will find
yourself called 'Dona Teresa Panza,' and sitting in church on a fine carpet and
cushions and draperies, in spite and in defiance of all the born ladies of the
town? No, stay as you are, growing neither greater nor less, like a tapestry
figure- Let us say no more about it, for Sanchica shall be a countess, say what
you will."
"Are you sure of all you say, husband?" replied Teresa. "Well, for
all that, I am afraid this rank of countess for my daughter will be her ruin.
You do as you like, make a duchess or a princess of her, but I can tell you it
will not be with my will and consent. I was always a lover of equality,
brother, and I can't bear to see people give themselves airs without any right.
They called me Teresa at my baptism, a plain, simple name, without any
additions or tags or fringes of Dons or Donas; Cascajo was my father's name,
and as I am your wife, I am called Teresa Panza, though by right I ought to he
called Teresa Cascajo; but 'kings go where laws like,' and I am content with
this name without having the 'Don' put on top of it to make it so heavy that I
cannot carry it; and I don't want to make people talk about me when they see me
go dressed like a countess or governor's wife; for they will say at once, 'See
what airs the slut gives herself! Only yesterday she was always spinning flax,
and used to go to mass with the tail of her petticoat over her head instead of
a mantle, and there she goes to-day in a hooped gown with her broaches and
airs, as if we didn't know her!' If God keeps me in my seven senses, or five,
or whatever number I have, I am not going to bring myself to such a pass; go
you, brother, and be a government or an island man, and swagger as much as you
like; for by the soul of my mother, neither my daughter nor I are going to stir
a step from our village; a respectable woman should have a broken leg and keep
at home; and to he busy at something is a virtuous damsel's holiday; be off to
your adventures along with your Don Quixote, and leave us to our misadventures,
for God will mend them for us according as we deserve it. I don't know, I'm
sure, who fixed the 'Don' to him, what neither his father nor grandfather ever
had."
"I declare thou hast a devil of some sort in thy body!" said
Sancho. "God help thee, what a lot of things thou hast strung together, one
after the other, without head or tail! What have Cascajo, and the broaches and
the proverbs and the airs, to do with what I say? Look here, fool and dolt (for
so I may call you, when you don't understand my words, and run away from good
fortune), if I had said that my daughter was to throw herself down from a
tower, or go roaming the world, as the Infanta Dona Urraca wanted to do, you
would be right in not giving way to my will; but if in an instant, in less than
the twinkling of an eye, I put the 'Don' and 'my lady' on her back, and take
her out of the stubble, and place her under a canopy, on a dais, and on a
couch, with more velvet cushions than all the Almohades of Morocco ever had in
their family, why won't you consent and fall in with my wishes?"
"Do you know why, husband?" replied Teresa; "because of the
proverb that says 'who covers thee, discovers thee.' At the poor man people
only throw a hasty glance; on the rich man they fix their eyes; and if the said
rich man was once on a time poor, it is then there is the sneering and the
tattle and spite of backbiters; and in the streets here they swarm as thick as
bees."
"Look here, Teresa," said Sancho, "and listen to what I am now
going to say to you; maybe you never heard it in all your life; and I do not
give my own notions, for what I am about to say are the opinions of his
reverence the preacher, who preached in this town last Lent, and who said, if I
remember rightly, that all things present that our eyes behold, bring
themselves before us, and remain and fix themselves on our memory much better
and more forcibly than things past."
These observations which Sancho makes here are the other ones on
account of which the translator says he regards this chapter as apocryphal,
inasmuch as they are beyond Sancho's capacity.
"Whence it arises," he continued, "that when we see any person
well dressed and making a figure with rich garments and retinue of servants, it
seems to lead and impel us perforce to respect him, though memory may at the
same moment recall to us some lowly condition in which we have seen him, but
which, whether it may have been poverty or low birth, being now a thing of the
past, has no existence; while the only thing that has any existence is what we
see before us; and if this person whom fortune has raised from his original
lowly state (these were the very words the padre used) to his present height of
prosperity, be well bred, generous, courteous to all, without seeking to vie
with those whose nobility is of ancient date, depend upon it, Teresa, no one
will remember what he was, and everyone will respect what he is, except indeed
the envious, from whom no fair fortune is safe."
"I do not understand you, husband," replied Teresa; "do as you
like, and don't break my head with any more speechifying and rethoric; and if
you have revolved to do what you say-"
"Resolved, you should say, woman," said Sancho, "not
revolved."
"Don't set yourself to wrangle with me, husband," said Teresa; "I
speak as God pleases, and don't deal in out-of-the-way phrases; and I say if
you are bent upon having a government, take your son Sancho with you, and teach
him from this time on how to hold a government; for sons ought to inherit and
learn the trades of their fathers."
"As soon as I have the government," said Sancho, "I will send for
him by post, and I will send thee money, of which I shall have no lack, for
there is never any want of people to lend it to governors when they have not
got it; and do thou dress him so as to hide what he is and make him look what
he is to be."
"You send the money," said Teresa, "and I'll dress him up for you
as fine as you please."
"Then we are agreed that our daughter is to be a countess," said
Sancho.
"The day that I see her a countess," replied Teresa, "it will be
the same to me as if I was burying her; but once more I say do as you please,
for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, though
they be dogs;" and with this she began to weep in earnest, as if she already
saw Sanchica dead and buried.
Sancho consoled her by saying that though he must make her a
countess, he would put it off as long as possible. Here their conversation came
to an end, and Sancho went back to see Don Quixote, and make arrangements for
their departure.
  Chapter VI
Of what took place between Don Quixote and his niece
and housekeeper; one of the most important chapters in the whole history
While Sancho Panza and his wife, Teresa Cascajo, held the above
irrelevant conversation, Don Quixote's niece and housekeeper were not idle, for
by a thousand signs they began to perceive that their uncle and master meant to
give them the slip the third time, and once more betake himself to his, for
them, ill-errant chivalry. They strove by all the means in their power to
divert him from such an unlucky scheme; but it was all preaching in the desert
and hammering cold iron. Nevertheless, among many other representations made to
him, the housekeeper said to him, "In truth, master, if you do not keep still
and stay quiet at home, and give over roaming mountains and valleys like a
troubled spirit, looking for what they say are called adventures, but what I
call misfortunes, I shall have to make complaint to God and the king with loud
supplication to send some remedy."
To which Don Quixote replied, "What answer God will give to your
complaints, housekeeper, I know not, nor what his Majesty will answer either; I
only know that if I were king I should decline to answer the numberless silly
petitions they present every day; for one of the greatest among the many
troubles kings have is being obliged to listen to all and answer all, and
therefore I should be sorry that any affairs of mine should worry him."
Whereupon the housekeeper said, "Tell us, senor, at his Majesty's
court are there no knights?"
"There are," replied Don Quixote, "and plenty of them; and it is
right there should be, to set off the dignity of the prince, and for the
greater glory of the king's majesty."
"Then might not your worship," said she, "be one of those that,
without stirring a step, serve their king and lord in his court?"
"Recollect, my friend," said Don Quixote, "all knights cannot be
courtiers, nor can all courtiers be knights-errant, nor need they be. There
must be all sorts in the world; and though we may be all knights, there is a
great difference between one and another; for the courtiers, without quitting
their chambers, or the threshold of the court, range the world over by looking
at a map, without its costing them a farthing, and without suffering heat or
cold, hunger or thirst; but we, the true knights-errant, measure the whole
earth with our own feet, exposed to the sun, to the cold, to the air, to the
inclemencies of heaven, by day and night, on foot and on horseback; nor do we
only know enemies in pictures, but in their own real shapes; and at all risks
and on all occasions we attack them, without any regard to childish points or
rules of single combat, whether one has or has not a shorter lance or sword,
whether one carries relics or any secret contrivance about him, whether or not
the sun is to be divided and portioned out, and other niceties of the sort that
are observed in set combats of man to man, that you know nothing about, but I
do. And you must know besides, that the true knight-errant, though he may see
ten giants, that not only touch the clouds with their heads but pierce them,
and that go, each of them, on two tall towers by way of legs, and whose arms
are like the masts of mighty ships, and each eye like a great mill-wheel, and
glowing brighter than a glass furnace, must not on any account be dismayed by
them. On the contrary, he must attack and fall upon them with a gallant bearing
and a fearless heart, and, if possible, vanquish and destroy them, even though
they have for armour the shells of a certain fish, that they say are harder
than diamonds, and in place of swords wield trenchant blades of Damascus steel,
or clubs studded with spikes also of steel, such as I have more than once seen.
All this I say, housekeeper, that you may see the difference there is between
the one sort of knight and the other; and it would be well if there were no
prince who did not set a higher value on this second, or more properly speaking
first, kind of knights-errant; for, as we read in their histories, there have
been some among them who have been the salvation, not merely of one kingdom,
but of many."
"Ah, senor," here exclaimed the niece, "remember that all this you
are saying about knights-errant is fable and fiction; and their histories, if
indeed they were not burned, would deserve, each of them, to have a sambenito
put on it, or some mark by which it might be known as infamous and a corrupter
of good manners."
"By the God that gives me life," said Don Quixote, "if thou wert
not my full niece, being daughter of my own sister, I would inflict a
chastisement upon thee for the blasphemy thou hast uttered that all the world
should ring with. What! can it be that a young hussy that hardly knows how to
handle a dozen lace-bobbins dares to wag her tongue and criticise the histories
of knights-errant? What would Senor Amadis say if he heard of such a thing? He,
however, no doubt would forgive thee, for he was the most humble-minded and
courteous knight of his time, and moreover a great protector of damsels; but
some there are that might have heard thee, and it would not have been well for
thee in that case; for they are not all courteous or mannerly; some are
ill-conditioned scoundrels; nor is it everyone that calls himself a gentleman,
that is so in all respects; some are gold, others pinchbeck, and all look like
gentlemen, but not all can stand the touchstone of truth. There are men of low
rank who strain themselves to bursting to pass for gentlemen, and high
gentlemen who, one would fancy, were dying to pass for men of low rank; the
former raise themselves by their ambition or by their virtues, the latter
debase themselves by their lack of spirit or by their vices; and one has need
of experience and discernment to distinguish these two kinds of gentlemen, so
much alike in name and so different in conduct."
"God bless me!" said the niece, "that you should know so much,
uncle- enough, if need be, to get up into a pulpit and go preach in the streets
-and yet that you should fall into a delusion so great and a folly so manifest
as to try to make yourself out vigorous when you are old, strong when you are
sickly, able to put straight what is crooked when you yourself are bent by age,
and, above all, a caballero when you are not one; for though gentlefolk may he
so, poor men are nothing of the kind!"
"There is a great deal of truth in what you say, niece," returned
Don Quixote, "and I could tell you somewhat about birth that would astonish
you; but, not to mix up things human and divine, I refrain. Look you, my dears,
all the lineages in the world (attend to what I am saying) can be reduced to
four sorts, which are these: those that had humble beginnings, and went on
spreading and extending themselves until they attained surpassing greatness;
those that had great beginnings and maintained them, and still maintain and
uphold the greatness of their origin; those, again, that from a great beginning
have ended in a point like a pyramid, having reduced and lessened their
original greatness till it has come to nought, like the point of a pyramid,
which, relatively to its base or foundation, is nothing; and then there are
those- and it is they that are the most numerous- that have had neither an
illustrious beginning nor a remarkable mid-course, and so will have an end
without a name, like an ordinary plebeian line. Of the first, those that had an
humble origin and rose to the greatness they still preserve, the Ottoman house
may serve as an example, which from an humble and lowly shepherd, its founder,
has reached the height at which we now see it. For examples of the second sort
of lineage, that began with greatness and maintains it still without adding to
it, there are the many princes who have inherited the dignity, and maintain
themselves in their inheritance, without increasing or diminishing it, keeping
peacefully within the limits of their states. Of those that began great and
ended in a point, there are thousands of examples, for all the Pharaohs and
Ptolemies of Egypt, the Caesars of Rome, and the whole herd (if I may such a
word to them) of countless princes, monarchs, lords, Medes, Assyrians,
Persians, Greeks, and barbarians, all these lineages and lordships have ended
in a point and come to nothing, they themselves as well as their founders, for
it would be impossible now to find one of their descendants, and, even should
we find one, it would be in some lowly and humble condition. Of plebeian
lineages I have nothing to say, save that they merely serve to swell the number
of those that live, without any eminence to entitle them to any fame or praise
beyond this. From all I have said I would have you gather, my poor innocents,
that great is the confusion among lineages, and that only those are seen to be
great and illustrious that show themselves so by the virtue, wealth, and
generosity of their possessors. I have said virtue, wealth, and generosity,
because a great man who is vicious will be a great example of vice, and a rich
man who is not generous will be merely a miserly beggar; for the possessor of
wealth is not made happy by possessing it, but by spending it, and not by
spending as he pleases, but by knowing how to spend it well. The poor gentleman
has no way of showing that he is a gentleman but by virtue, by being affable,
well-bred, courteous, gentle-mannered, and kindly, not haughty, arrogant, or
censorious, but above all by being charitable; for by two maravedis given with
a cheerful heart to the poor, he will show himself as generous as he who
distributes alms with bell-ringing, and no one that perceives him to be endowed
with the virtues I have named, even though he know him not, will fail to
recognise and set him down as one of good blood; and it would be strange were
it not so; praise has ever been the reward of virtue, and those who are
virtuous cannot fail to receive commendation. There are two roads, my
daughters, by which men may reach wealth and honours; one is that of letters,
the other that of arms. I have more of arms than of letters in my composition,
and, judging by my inclination to arms, was born under the influence of the
planet Mars. I am, therefore, in a measure constrained to follow that road, and
by it I must travel in spite of all the world, and it will be labour in vain
for you to urge me to resist what heaven wills, fate ordains, reason requires,
and, above all, my own inclination favours; for knowing as I do the countless
toils that are the accompaniments of knight-errantry, I know, too, the infinite
blessings that are attained by it; I know that the path of virtue is very
narrow, and the road of vice broad and spacious; I know their ends and goals
are different, for the broad and easy road of vice ends in death, and the
narrow and toilsome one of virtue in life, and not transitory life, but in that
which has no end; I know, as our great Castilian poet says, that-
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It is by rugged paths like these they go |
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That scale the heights of immortality, |
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Unreached by those that falter here below." |
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"Woe is me!" exclaimed the niece, "my lord is a poet, too! He
knows everything, and he can do everything; I will bet, if he chose to turn
mason, he could make a house as easily as a cage."
"I can tell you, niece," replied Don Quixote, "if these
chivalrous thoughts did not engage all my faculties, there would be nothing
that I could not do, nor any sort of knickknack that would not come from my
hands, particularly cages and tooth-picks."
At this moment there came a knocking at the door, and when they
asked who was there, Sancho Panza made answer that it was he. The instant the
housekeeper knew who it was, she ran to hide herself so as not to see him; in
such abhorrence did she hold him. The niece let him in, and his master Don
Quixote came forward to receive him with open arms, and the pair shut
themselves up in his room, where they had another conversation not inferior to
the previous one.
  Chapter VII
Of what passed between Don Quixote and his squire,
together with other very notable incidents
The instant the housekeeper saw Sancho Panza shut himself in with
her master, she guessed what they were about; and suspecting that the result of
the consultation would be a resolve to undertake a third sally, she seized her
mantle, and in deep anxiety and distress, ran to find the bachelor Samson
Carrasco, as she thought that, being a well-spoken man, and a new friend of her
master's, he might be able to persuade him to give up any such crazy notion.
She found him pacing the patio of his house, and, perspiring and flurried, she
fell at his feet the moment she saw him.
Carrasco, seeing how distressed and overcome she was, said to her,
"What is this, mistress housekeeper? What has happened to you? One would think
you heart-broken."
"Nothing, Senor Samson," said she, "only that my master is
breaking out, plainly breaking out."
"Whereabouts is he breaking out, senora?" asked Samson; "has any
part of his body burst?"
"He is only breaking out at the door of his madness," she replied;
"I mean, dear senor bachelor, that he is going to break out again (and this
will be the third time) to hunt all over the world for what he calls ventures,
though I can't make out why he gives them that name. The first time he was
brought back to us slung across the back of an ass, and belaboured all over;
and the second time he came in an ox-cart, shut up in a cage, in which he
persuaded himself he was enchanted, and the poor creature was in such a state
that the mother that bore him would not have known him; lean, yellow, with his
eyes sunk deep in the cells of his skull; so that to bring him round again,
ever so little, cost me more than six hundred eggs, as God knows, and all the
world, and my hens too, that won't let me tell a lie."
"That I can well believe," replied the bachelor, "for they are so
good and so fat, and so well-bred, that they would not say one thing for
another, though they were to burst for it. In short then, mistress housekeeper,
that is all, and there is nothing the matter, except what it is feared Don
Quixote may do?"
"No, senor," said she.
"Well then," returned the bachelor, "don't be uneasy, but go home
in peace; get me ready something hot for breakfast, and while you are on the
way say the prayer of Santa Apollonia, that is if you know it; for I will come
presently and you will see miracles."
"Woe is me," cried the housekeeper, "is it the prayer of Santa
Apollonia you would have me say? That would do if it was the toothache my
master had; but it is in the brains, what he has got."
"I know what I am saying, mistress housekeeper; go, and don't set
yourself to argue with me, for you know I am a bachelor of Salamanca, and one
can't be more of a bachelor than that," replied Carrasco; and with this the
housekeeper retired, and the bachelor went to look for the curate, and arrange
with him what will be told in its proper place.
While Don Quixote and Sancho were shut up together, they had a
discussion which the history records with great precision and scrupulous
exactness. Sancho said to his master, "Senor, I have educed my wife to let me
go with your worship wherever you choose to take me."
"Induced, you should say, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "not educed."
"Once or twice, as well as I remember," replied Sancho, "I have
begged of your worship not to mend my words, if so be as you understand what I
mean by them; and if you don't understand them to say 'Sancho,' or 'devil,' 'I
don't understand thee; and if I don't make my meaning plain, then you may
correct me, for I am so focile-"
"I don't understand thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote at once; "for
I know not what 'I am so focile' means."
"'So focile' means I am so much that way," replied Sancho.
"I understand thee still less now," said Don Quixote.
"Well, if you can't understand me," said Sancho, "I don't know
how to put it; I know no more, God help me."
"Oh, now I have hit it," said Don Quixote; "thou wouldst say thou
art so docile, tractable, and gentle that thou wilt take what I say to thee,
and submit to what I teach thee."
"I would bet," said Sancho, "that from the very first you
understood me, and knew what I meant, but you wanted to put me out that you
might hear me make another couple of dozen blunders."
"May be so," replied Don Quixote; "but to come to the point, what
does Teresa say?"
"Teresa says," replied Sancho, "that I should make sure with your
worship, and 'let papers speak and beards be still,' for 'he who binds does not
wrangle,' since one 'take' is better than two 'I'll give thee's;' and I say a
woman's advice is no great thing, and he who won't take it is a fool."
"And so say I," said Don Quixote; "continue, Sancho my friend; go
on; you talk pearls to-day."
"The fact is," continued Sancho, "that, as your worship knows
better than I do, we are all of us liable to death, and to-day we are, and
to-morrow we are not, and the lamb goes as soon as the sheep, and nobody can
promise himself more hours of life in this world than God may be pleased to
give him; for death is deaf, and when it comes to knock at our life's door, it
is always urgent, and neither prayers, nor struggles, nor sceptres, nor mitres,
can keep it back, as common talk and report say, and as they tell us from the
pulpits every day."
"All that is very true," said Don Quixote; "but I cannot make out
what thou art driving at."
"What I am driving at," said Sancho, "is that your worship settle
some fixed wages for me, to be paid monthly while I am in your service, and
that the same he paid me out of your estate; for I don't care to stand on
rewards which either come late, or ill, or never at all; God help me with my
own. In short, I would like to know what I am to get, be it much or little; for
the hen will lay on one egg, and many littles make a much, and so long as one
gains something there is nothing lost. To he sure, if it should happen (what I
neither believe nor expect) that your worship were to give me that island you
have promised me, I am not so ungrateful nor so grasping but that I would be
willing to have the revenue of such island valued and stopped out of my wages
in due promotion."
"Sancho, my friend," replied Don Quixote, "sometimes proportion
may be as good as promotion."
"I see," said Sancho; "I'll bet I ought to have said proportion,
and not promotion; but it is no matter, as your worship has understood me."
"And so well understood," returned Don Quixote, "that I have seen
into the depths of thy thoughts, and know the mark thou art shooting at with
the countless shafts of thy proverbs. Look here, Sancho, I would readily fix
thy wages if I had ever found any instance in the histories of the
knights-errant to show or indicate, by the slightest hint, what their squires
used to get monthly or yearly; but I have read all or the best part of their
histories, and I cannot remember reading of any knight-errant having assigned
fixed wages to his squire; I only know that they all served on reward, and that
when they least expected it, if good luck attended their masters, they found
themselves recompensed with an island or something equivalent to it, or at the
least they were left with a title and lordship. If with these hopes and
additional inducements you, Sancho, please to return to my service, well and
good; but to suppose that I am going to disturb or unhinge the ancient usage of
knight-errantry, is all nonsense. And so, my Sancho, get you back to your house
and explain my intentions to your Teresa, and if she likes and you like to be
on reward with me, bene quidem; if not, we remain friends; for if the
pigeon-house does not lack food, it will not lack pigeons; and bear in mind, my
son, that a good hope is better than a bad holding, and a good grievance better
than a bad compensation. I speak in this way, Sancho, to show you that I can
shower down proverbs just as well as yourself; and in short, I mean to say, and
I do say, that if you don't like to come on reward with me, and run the same
chance that I run, God be with you and make a saint of you; for I shall find
plenty of squires more obedient and painstaking, and not so thickheaded or
talkative as you are."
When Sancho heard his master's firm, resolute language, a cloud
came over the sky with him and the wings of his heart drooped, for he had made
sure that his master would not go without him for all the wealth of the world;
and as he stood there dumbfoundered and moody, Samson Carrasco came in with the
housekeeper and niece, who were anxious to hear by what arguments he was about
to dissuade their master from going to seek adventures. The arch wag Samson
came forward, and embracing him as he had done before, said with a loud voice,
"O flower of knight-errantry! O shining light of arms! O honour and mirror of
the Spanish nation! may God Almighty in his infinite power grant that any
person or persons, who would impede or hinder thy third sally, may find no way
out of the labyrinth of their schemes, nor ever accomplish what they most
desire!" And then, turning to the housekeeper, he said, "Mistress housekeeper
may just as well give over saying the prayer of Santa Apollonia, for I know it
is the positive determination of the spheres that Senor Don Quixote shall
proceed to put into execution his new and lofty designs; and I should lay a
heavy burden on my conscience did I not urge and persuade this knight not to
keep the might of his strong arm and the virtue of his valiant spirit any
longer curbed and checked, for by his inactivity he is defrauding the world of
the redress of wrongs, of the protection of orphans, of the honour of virgins,
of the aid of widows, and of the support of wives, and other matters of this
kind appertaining, belonging, proper and peculiar to the order of
knight-errantry. On, then, my lord Don Quixote, beautiful and brave, let your
worship and highness set out to-day rather than to-morrow; and if anything be
needed for the execution of your purpose, here am I ready in person and purse
to supply the want; and were it requisite to attend your magnificence as
squire, I should esteem it the happiest good fortune."
At this, Don Quixote, turning to Sancho, said, "Did I not tell
thee, Sancho, there would be squires enough and to spare for me? See now who
offers to become one; no less than the illustrious bachelor Samson Carrasco,
the perpetual joy and delight of the courts of the Salamancan schools, sound in
body, discreet, patient under heat or cold, hunger or thirst, with all the
qualifications requisite to make a knight-errant's squire! But heaven forbid
that, to gratify my own inclination, I should shake or shatter this pillar of
letters and vessel of the sciences, and cut down this towering palm of the fair
and liberal arts. Let this new Samson remain in his own country, and, bringing
honour to it, bring honour at the same time on the grey heads of his venerable
parents; for I will be content with any squire that comes to hand, as Sancho
does not deign to accompany me."
"I do deign," said Sancho, deeply moved and with tears in his
eyes; "it shall not be said of me, master mine," he continued, "'the bread
eaten and the company dispersed.' Nay, I come of no ungrateful stock, for all
the world knows, but particularly my own town, who the Panzas from whom I am
descended were; and, what is more, I know and have learned, by many good words
and deeds, your worship's desire to show me favour; and if I have been
bargaining more or less about my wages, it was only to please my wife, who,
when she sets herself to press a point, no hammer drives the hoops of a cask as
she drives one to do what she wants; but, after all, a man must be a man, and a
woman a woman; and as I am a man anyhow, which I can't deny, I will be one in
my own house too, let who will take it amiss; and so there's nothing more to do
but for your worship to make your will with its codicil in such a way that it
can't be provoked, and let us set out at once, to save Senor Samson's soul from
suffering, as he says his conscience obliges him to persuade your worship to
sally out upon the world a third time; so I offer again to serve your worship
faithfully and loyally, as well and better than all the squires that served
knights-errant in times past or present."
The bachelor was filled with amazement when he heard Sancho's
phraseology and style of talk, for though he had read the first part of his
master's history he never thought that he could be so droll as he was there
described; but now, hearing him talk of a "will and codicil that could not be
provoked," instead of "will and codicil that could not be revoked," he believed
all he had read of him, and set him down as one of the greatest simpletons of
modern times; and he said to himself that two such lunatics as master and man
the world had never seen. In fine, Don Quixote and Sancho embraced one another
and made friends, and by the advice and with the approval of the great
Carrasco, who was now their oracle, it was arranged that their departure should
take place three days thence, by which time they could have all that was
requisite for the journey ready, and procure a closed helmet, which Don Quixote
said he must by all means take. Samson offered him one, as he knew a friend of
his who had it would not refuse it to him, though it was more dingy with rust
and mildew than bright and clean like burnished steel.
The curses which both housekeeper and niece poured out on the
bachelor were past counting; they tore their hair, they clawed their faces, and
in the style of the hired mourners that were once in fashion, they raised a
lamentation over the departure of their master and uncle, as if it had been his
death. Samson's intention in persuading him to sally forth once more was to do
what the history relates farther on; all by the advice of the curate and
barber, with whom he had previously discussed the subject. Finally, then,
during those three days, Don Quixote and Sancho provided themselves with what
they considered necessary, and Sancho having pacified his wife, and Don Quixote
his niece and housekeeper, at nightfall, unseen by anyone except the bachelor,
who thought fit to accompany them half a league out of the village, they set
out for El Toboso, Don Quixote on his good Rocinante and Sancho on his old
Dapple, his alforjas furnished with certain matters in the way of victuals, and
his purse with money that Don Quixote gave him to meet emergencies. Samson
embraced him, and entreated him to let him hear of his good or evil fortunes,
so that he might rejoice over the former or condole with him over the latter,
as the laws of friendship required. Don Quixote promised him he would do so,
and Samson returned to the village, and the other two took the road for the
great city of El Toboso.
  Chapter VIII
Wherein is related what befell Don Quixote on his
way to see his lady Dulcinea del Toboso
"Blessed be Allah the all-powerful!" says Hamete Benengeli on
beginning this eighth chapter; "blessed be Allah!" he repeats three times; and
he says he utters these thanksgivings at seeing that he has now got Don Quixote
and Sancho fairly afield, and that the readers of his delightful history may
reckon that the achievements and humours of Don Quixote and his squire are now
about to begin; and he urges them to forget the former chivalries of the
ingenious gentleman and to fix their eyes on those that are to come, which now
begin on the road to El Toboso, as the others began on the plains of Montiel;
nor is it much that he asks in consideration of all he promises, and so he goes
on to say:
Don Quixote and Sancho were left alone, and the moment Samson took
his departure, Rocinante began to neigh, and Dapple to sigh, which, by both
knight and squire, was accepted as a good sign and a very happy omen; though,
if the truth is to be told, the sighs and brays of Dapple were louder than the
neighings of the hack, from which Sancho inferred that his good fortune was to
exceed and overtop that of his master, building, perhaps, upon some judicial
astrology that he may have known, though the history says nothing about it; all
that can be said is, that when he stumbled or fell, he was heard to say he
wished he had not come out, for by stumbling or falling there was nothing to be
got but a damaged shoe or a broken rib; and, fool as he was, he was not much
astray in this.
Said Don Quixote, "Sancho, my friend, night is drawing on upon us
as we go, and more darkly than will allow us to reach El Toboso by daylight;
for there I am resolved to go before I engage in another adventure, and there I
shall obtain the blessing and generous permission of the peerless Dulcinea,
with which permission I expect and feel assured that I shall conclude and bring
to a happy termination every perilous adventure; for nothing in life makes
knights-errant more valorous than finding themselves favoured by their ladies."
"So I believe," replied Sancho; "but I think it will be difficult
for your worship to speak with her or see her, at any rate where you will be
able to receive her blessing; unless, indeed, she throws it over the wall of
the yard where I saw her the time before, when I took her the letter that told
of the follies and mad things your worship was doing in the heart of Sierra
Morena."
"Didst thou take that for a yard wall, Sancho," said Don Quixote,
"where or at which thou sawest that never sufficiently extolled grace and
beauty? It must have been the gallery, corridor, or portico of some rich and
royal palace."
"It might have been all that," returned Sancho, "but to me it
looked like a wall, unless I am short of memory."
"At all events, let us go there, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for,
so that I see her, it is the same to me whether it be over a wall, or at a
window, or through the chink of a door, or the grate of a garden; for any beam
of the sun of her beauty that reaches my eyes will give light to my reason and
strength to my heart, so that I shall be unmatched and unequalled in wisdom and
valour."
"Well, to tell the truth, senor," said Sancho, "when I saw that
sun of the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, it was not bright enough to throw out
beams at all; it must have been, that as her grace was sifting that wheat I
told you of, the thick dust she raised came before her face like a cloud and
dimmed it."
"What! dost thou still persist, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "in
saying, thinking, believing, and maintaining that my lady Dulcinea was sifting
wheat, that being an occupation and task entirely at variance with what is and
should be the employment of persons of distinction, who are constituted and
reserved for other avocations and pursuits that show their rank a bowshot off?
Thou hast forgotten, O Sancho, those lines of our poet wherein he paints for us
how, in their crystal abodes, those four nymphs employed themselves who rose
from their loved Tagus and seated themselves in a verdant meadow to embroider
those tissues which the ingenious poet there describes to us, how they were
worked and woven with gold and silk and pearls; and something of this sort must
have been the employment of my lady when thou sawest her, only that the spite
which some wicked enchanter seems to have against everything of mine changes
all those things that give me pleasure, and turns them into shapes unlike their
own; and so I fear that in that history of my achievements which they say is
now in print, if haply its author was some sage who is an enemy of mine, he
will have put one thing for another, mingling a thousand lies with one truth,
and amusing himself by relating transactions which have nothing to do with the
sequence of a true history. O envy, root of all countless evils, and cankerworm
of the virtues! All the vices, Sancho, bring some kind of pleasure with them;
but envy brings nothing but irritation, bitterness, and rage."
"So I say too," replied Sancho; "and I suspect in that legend or
history of us that the bachelor Samson Carrasco told us he saw, my honour goes
dragged in the dirt, knocked about, up and down, sweeping the streets, as they
say. And yet, on the faith of an honest man, I never spoke ill of any
enchanter, and I am not so well off that I am to be envied; to be sure, I am
rather sly, and I have a certain spice of the rogue in me; but all is covered
by the great cloak of my simplicity, always natural and never acted; and if I
had no other merit save that I believe, as I always do, firmly and truly in
God, and all the holy Roman Catholic Church holds and believes, and that I am a
mortal enemy of the Jews, the historians ought to have mercy on me and treat me
well in their writings. But let them say what they like; naked was I born,
naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain; nay, while I see myself put into
a book and passed on from hand to hand over the world, I don't care a fig, let
them say what they like of me."
"That, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "reminds me of what happened
to a famous poet of our own day, who, having written a bitter satire against
all the courtesan ladies, did not insert or name in it a certain lady of whom
it was questionable whether she was one or not. She, seeing she was not in the
list of the poet, asked him what he had seen in her that he did not include her
in the number of the others, telling him he must add to his satire and put her
in the new part, or else look out for the consequences. The poet did as she
bade him, and left her without a shred of reputation, and she was satisfied by
getting fame though it was infamy. In keeping with this is what they relate of
that shepherd who set fire to the famous temple of Diana, by repute one of the
seven wonders of the world, and burned it with the sole object of making his
name live in after ages; and, though it was forbidden to name him, or mention
his name by word of mouth or in writing, lest the object of his ambition should
be attained, nevertheless it became known that he was called Erostratus. And
something of the same sort is what happened in the case of the great emperor
Charles V and a gentleman in Rome. The emperor was anxious to see that famous
temple of the Rotunda, called in ancient times the temple 'of all the gods,'
but now-a-days, by a better nomenclature, 'of all the saints,' which is the
best preserved building of all those of pagan construction in Rome, and the one
which best sustains the reputation of mighty works and magnificence of its
founders. It is in the form of a half orange, of enormous dimensions, and well
lighted, though no light penetrates it save that which is admitted by a window,
or rather round skylight, at the top; and it was from this that the emperor
examined the building. A Roman gentleman stood by his side and explained to him
the skilful construction and ingenuity of the vast fabric and its wonderful
architecture, and when they had left the skylight he said to the emperor, 'A
thousand times, your Sacred Majesty, the impulse came upon me to seize your
Majesty in my arms and fling myself down from yonder skylight, so as to leave
behind me in the world a name that would last for ever.' 'I am thankful to you
for not carrying such an evil thought into effect,' said the emperor, 'and I
shall give you no opportunity in future of again putting your loyalty to the
test; and I therefore forbid you ever to speak to me or to be where I am; and
he followed up these words by bestowing a liberal bounty upon him. My meaning
is, Sancho, that the desire of acquiring fame is a very powerful motive. What,
thinkest thou, was it that flung Horatius in full armour down from the bridge
into the depths of the Tiber? What burned the hand and arm of Mutius? What
impelled Curtius to plunge into the deep burning gulf that opened in the midst
of Rome? What, in opposition to all the omens that declared against him, made
Julius Caesar cross the Rubicon? And to come to more modern examples, what
scuttled the ships, and left stranded and cut off the gallant Spaniards under
the command of the most courteous Cortes in the New World? All these and a
variety of other great exploits are, were and will be, the work of fame that
mortals desire as a reward and a portion of the immortality their famous deeds
deserve; though we Catholic Christians and knights-errant look more to that
future glory that is everlasting in the ethereal regions of heaven than to the
vanity of the fame that is to be acquired in this present transitory life; a
fame that, however long it may last, must after all end with the world itself,
which has its own appointed end. So that, O Sancho, in what we do we must not
overpass the bounds which the Christian religion we profess has assigned to us.
We have to slay pride in giants, envy by generosity and nobleness of heart,
anger by calmness of demeanour and equanimity, gluttony and sloth by the
spareness of our diet and the length of our vigils, lust and lewdness by the
loyalty we preserve to those whom we have made the mistresses of our thoughts,
indolence by traversing the world in all directions seeking opportunities of
making ourselves, besides Christians, famous knights. Such, Sancho, are the
means by which we reach those extremes of praise that fair fame carries with
it."
"All that your worship has said so far," said Sancho, "I have
understood quite well; but still I would be glad if your worship would dissolve
a doubt for me, which has just this minute come into my mind."
"Solve, thou meanest, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "say on, in God's
name, and I will answer as well as I can."
"Tell me, senor," Sancho went on to say, "those Julys or Augusts,
and all those venturous knights that you say are now dead- where are they now?"
"The heathens," replied Don Quixote, "are, no doubt, in hell; the
Christians, if they were good Christians, are either in purgatory or in
heaven."
"Very good," said Sancho; "but now I want to know- the tombs where
the bodies of those great lords are, have they silver lamps before them, or are
the walls of their chapels ornamented with crutches, winding-sheets, tresses of
hair, legs and eyes in wax? Or what are they ornamented with?"
To which Don Quixote made answer: "The tombs of the heathens were
generally sumptuous temples; the ashes of Julius Caesar's body were placed on
the top of a stone pyramid of vast size, which they now call in Rome Saint
Peter's needle. The emperor Hadrian had for a tomb a castle as large as a
good-sized village, which they called the Moles Adriani, and is now the castle
of St. Angelo in Rome. The queen Artemisia buried her husband Mausolus in a
tomb which was reckoned one of the seven wonders of the world; but none of
these tombs, or of the many others of the heathens, were ornamented with
winding-sheets or any of those other offerings and tokens that show that they
who are buried there are saints."
"That's the point I'm coming to," said Sancho; "and now tell me,
which is the greater work, to bring a dead man to life or to kill a giant?"
"The answer is easy," replied Don Quixote; "it is a greater work
to bring to life a dead man."
"Now I have got you," said Sancho; "in that case the fame of them
who bring the dead to life, who give sight to the blind, cure cripples, restore
health to the sick, and before whose tombs there are lamps burning, and whose
chapels are filled with devout folk on their knees adoring their relics be a
better fame in this life and in the other than that which all the heathen
emperors and knights-errant that have ever been in the world have left or may
leave behind them?"
"That I grant, too," said Don Quixote.
"Then this fame, these favours, these privileges, or whatever you
call it," said Sancho, "belong to the bodies and relics of the saints who, with
the approbation and permission of our holy mother Church, have lamps, tapers,
winding-sheets, crutches, pictures, eyes and legs, by means of which they
increase devotion and add to their own Christian reputation. Kings carry the
bodies or relics of saints on their shoulders, and kiss bits of their bones,
and enrich and adorn their oratories and favourite altars with them."
"What wouldst thou have me infer from all thou hast said, Sancho?"
asked Don Quixote.
"My meaning is," said Sancho, "let us set about becoming saints,
and we shall obtain more quickly the fair fame we are striving after; for you
know, senor, yesterday or the day before yesterday (for it is so lately one may
say so) they canonised and beatified two little barefoot friars, and it is now
reckoned the greatest good luck to kiss or touch the iron chains with which
they girt and tortured their bodies, and they are held in greater veneration,
so it is said, than the sword of Roland in the armoury of our lord the King,
whom God preserve. So that, senor, it is better to be an humble little friar of
no matter what order, than a valiant knight-errant; with God a couple of dozen
of penance lashings are of more avail than two thousand lance-thrusts, be they
given to giants, or monsters, or dragons."
"All that is true," returned Don Quixote, "but we cannot all be
friars, and many are the ways by which God takes his own to heaven; chivalry is
a religion, there are sainted knights in glory."
"Yes," said Sancho, "but I have heard say that there are more
friars in heaven than knights-errant."
"That," said Don Quixote, "is because those in religious orders
are more numerous than knights."
"The errants are many," said Sancho.
"Many," replied Don Quixote, "but few they who deserve the name of
knights."
With these, and other discussions of the same sort, they passed
that night and the following day, without anything worth mention happening to
them, whereat Don Quixote was not a little dejected; but at length the next
day, at daybreak, they descried the great city of El Toboso, at the sight of
which Don Quixote's spirits rose and Sancho's fell, for he did not know
Dulcinea's house, nor in all his life had he ever seen her, any more than his
master; so that they were both uneasy, the one to see her, the other at not
having seen her, and Sancho was at a loss to know what he was to do when his
master sent him to El Toboso. In the end, Don Quixote made up his mind to enter
the city at nightfall, and they waited until the time came among some oak trees
that were near El Toboso; and when the moment they had agreed upon arrived,
they made their entrance into the city, where something happened them that may
fairly be called something.
  Chapter IX
Wherein is related what will be seen there
'Twas at the very midnight hour- more or less- when Don Quixote
and Sancho quitted the wood and entered El Toboso. The town was in deep
silence, for all the inhabitants were asleep, and stretched on the broad of
their backs, as the saying is. The night was darkish, though Sancho would have
been glad had it been quite dark, so as to find in the darkness an excuse for
his blundering. All over the place nothing was to be heard except the barking
of dogs, which deafened the ears of Don Quixote and troubled the heart of
Sancho. Now and then an ass brayed, pigs grunted, cats mewed, and the various
noises they made seemed louder in the silence of the night; all which the
enamoured knight took to be of evil omen; nevertheless he said to Sancho,
"Sancho, my son, lead on to the palace of Dulcinea, it may be that we shall
find her awake."
"Body of the sun! what palace am I to lead to," said Sancho, "when
what I saw her highness in was only a very little house?"
"Most likely she had then withdrawn into some small apartment of
her palace," said Don Quixote, "to amuse herself with damsels, as great ladies
and princesses are accustomed to do."
"Senor," said Sancho, "if your worship will have it in spite of me
that the house of my lady Dulcinea is a palace, is this an hour, think you, to
find the door open; and will it be right for us to go knocking till they hear
us and open the door; making a disturbance and confusion all through the
household? Are we going, do you fancy, to the house of our wenches, like
gallants who come and knock and go in at any hour, however late it may be?"
"Let us first of all find out the palace for certain," replied Don
Quixote, "and then I will tell thee, Sancho, what we had best do; but look,
Sancho, for either I see badly, or that dark mass that one sees from here
should be Dulcinea's palace."
"Then let your worship lead the way," said Sancho, "perhaps it may
be so; though I see it with my eyes and touch it with my hands, I'll believe it
as much as I believe it is daylight now."
Don Quixote took the lead, and having gone a matter of two hundred
paces he came upon the mass that produced the shade, and found it was a great
tower, and then he perceived that the building in question was no palace, but
the chief church of the town, and said he, "It's the church we have lit upon,
Sancho."
"So I see," said Sancho, "and God grant we may not light upon our
graves; it is no good sign to find oneself wandering in a graveyard at this
time of night; and that, after my telling your worship, if I don't mistake,
that the house of this lady will be in an alley without an outlet."
"The curse of God on thee for a blockhead!" said Don Quixote;
"where hast thou ever heard of castles and royal palaces being built in alleys
without an outlet?"
"Senor," replied Sancho, "every country has a way of its own;
perhaps here in El Toboso it is the way to build palaces and grand buildings in
alleys; so I entreat your worship to let me search about among these streets or
alleys before me, and perhaps, in some corner or other, I may stumble on this
palace- and I wish I saw the dogs eating it for leading us such a dance."
"Speak respectfully of what belongs to my lady, Sancho," said Don
Quixote; "let us keep the feast in peace, and not throw the rope after the
bucket."
"I'll hold my tongue," said Sancho, "but how am I to take it
patiently when your worship wants me, with only once seeing the house of our
mistress, to know always, and find it in the middle of the night, when your
worship can't find it, who must have seen it thousands of times?"
"Thou wilt drive me to desperation, Sancho," said Don Quixote.
"Look here, heretic, have I not told thee a thousand times that I have never
once in my life seen the peerless Dulcinea or crossed the threshold of her
palace, and that I am enamoured solely by hearsay and by the great reputation
she bears for beauty and discretion?"
"I hear it now," returned Sancho; "and I may tell you that if you
have not seen her, no more have I."
"That cannot be," said Don Quixote, "for, at any rate, thou
saidst, on bringing back the answer to the letter I sent by thee, that thou
sawest her sifting wheat."
"Don't mind that, senor," said Sancho; "I must tell you that my
seeing her and the answer I brought you back were by hearsay too, for I can no
more tell who the lady Dulcinea is than I can hit the sky."
"Sancho, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "there are times for jests and
times when jests are out of place; if I tell thee that I have neither seen nor
spoken to the lady of my heart, it is no reason why thou shouldst say thou hast
not spoken to her or seen her, when the contrary is the case, as thou well
knowest."
While the two were engaged in this conversation, they perceived
some one with a pair of mules approaching the spot where they stood, and from
the noise the plough made, as it dragged along the ground, they guessed him to
be some labourer who had got up before daybreak to go to his work, and so it
proved to be. He came along singing the ballad that says-
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Ill did ye fare, ye men of France, |
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In Roncesvalles chase- |
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"May I die, Sancho," said Don Quixote, when he heard him, "if any
good will come to us tonight! Dost thou not hear what that clown is singing?"
"I do," said Sancho, "but what has Roncesvalles chase to do with
what we have in hand? He might just as well be singing the ballad of Calainos,
for any good or ill that can come to us in our business."
By this time the labourer had come up, and Don Quixote asked him,
"Can you tell me, worthy friend, and God speed you, whereabouts here is the
palace of the peerless princess Dona Dulcinea del Toboso?"
"Senor," replied the lad, "I am a stranger, and I have been only a
few days in the town, doing farm work for a rich farmer. In that house opposite
there live the curate of the village and the sacristan, and both or either of
them will be able to give your worship some account of this lady princess, for
they have a list of all the people of El Toboso; though it is my belief there
is not a princess living in the whole of it; many ladies there are, of quality,
and in her own house each of them may be a princess."
"Well, then, she I am inquiring for will be one of these, my
friend," said Don Quixote.
"May be so," replied the lad; "God be with you, for here comes the
daylight;" and without waiting for any more of his questions, he whipped on his
mules.
Sancho, seeing his master downcast and somewhat dissatisfied, said
to him, "Senor, daylight will be here before long, and it will not do for us to
let the sun find us in the street; it will be better for us to quit the city,
and for your worship to hide in some forest in the neighbourhood, and I will
come back in the daytime, and I won't leave a nook or corner of the whole
village that I won't search for the house, castle, or palace, of my lady, and
it will be hard luck for me if I don't find it; and as soon as I have found it
I will speak to her grace, and tell her where and how your worship is waiting
for her to arrange some plan for you to see her without any damage to her
honour and reputation."
"Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou hast delivered a thousand
sentences condensed in the compass of a few words; I thank thee for the advice
thou hast given me, and take it most gladly. Come, my son, let us go look for
some place where I may hide, while thou dost return, as thou sayest, to seek,
and speak with my lady, from whose discretion and courtesy I look for favours
more than miraculous."
Sancho was in a fever to get his master out of the town, lest he
should discover the falsehood of the reply he had brought to him in the Sierra
Morena on behalf of Dulcinea; so he hastened their departure, which they took
at once, and two miles out of the village they found a forest or thicket
wherein Don Quixote ensconced himself, while Sancho returned to the city to
speak to Dulcinea, in which embassy things befell him which demand fresh
attention and a new chapter.
  Chapter X
Wherein is related the crafty device Sancho adopted
to enchant the lady Dulcinea, and other incidents as ludicrous as they are
true
When the author of this great history comes to relate what is set
down in this chapter he says he would have preferred to pass it over in
silence, fearing it would not he believed, because here Don Quixote's madness
reaches the confines of the greatest that can be conceived, and even goes a
couple of bowshots beyond the greatest. But after all, though still under the
same fear and apprehension, he has recorded it without adding to the story or
leaving out a particle of the truth, and entirely disregarding the charges of
falsehood that might be brought against him; and he was right, for the truth
may run fine but will not break, and always rises above falsehood as oil above
water; and so, going on with his story, he says that as soon as Don Quixote had
ensconced himself in the forest, oak grove, or wood near El Toboso, he bade
Sancho return to the city, and not come into his presence again without having
first spoken on his behalf to his lady, and begged of her that it might be her
good pleasure to permit herself to be seen by her enslaved knight, and deign to
bestow her blessing upon him, so that he might thereby hope for a happy issue
in all his encounters and difficult enterprises. Sancho undertook to execute
the task according to the instructions, and to bring back an answer as good as
the one he brought back before.
"Go, my son," said Don Quixote, "and be not dazed when thou
findest thyself exposed to the light of that sun of beauty thou art going to
seek. Happy thou, above all the squires in the world! Bear in mind, and let it
not escape thy memory, how she receives thee; if she changes colour while thou
art giving her my message; if she is agitated and disturbed at hearing my name;
if she cannot rest upon her cushion, shouldst thou haply find her seated in the
sumptuous state chamber proper to her rank; and should she be standing, observe
if she poises herself now on one foot, now on the other; if she repeats two or
three times the reply she gives thee; if she passes from gentleness to
austerity, from asperity to tenderness; if she raises her hand to smooth her
hair though it be not disarranged. In short, my son, observe all her actions
and motions, for if thou wilt report them to me as they were, I will gather
what she hides in the recesses of her heart as regards my love; for I would
have thee know, Sancho, if thou knowest it not, that with lovers the outward
actions and motions they give way to when their loves are in question are the
faithful messengers that carry the news of what is going on in the depths of
their hearts. Go, my friend, may better fortune than mine attend thee, and
bring thee a happier issue than that which I await in dread in this dreary
solitude."
"I will go and return quickly," said Sancho; "cheer up that little
heart of yours, master mine, for at the present moment you seem to have got one
no bigger than a hazel nut; remember what they say, that a stout heart breaks
bad luck, and that where there are no fletches there are no pegs; and moreover
they say, the hare jumps up where it's not looked for. I say this because, if
we could not find my lady's palaces or castles to-night, now that it is
daylight I count upon finding them when I least expect it, and once found,
leave it to me to manage her."
"Verily, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou dost always bring in thy
proverbs happily, whatever we deal with; may God give me better luck in what I
am anxious about."
With this, Sancho wheeled about and gave Dapple the stick, and Don
Quixote remained behind, seated on his horse, resting in his stirrups and
leaning on the end of his lance, filled with sad and troubled forebodings; and
there we will leave him, and accompany Sancho, who went off no less serious and
troubled than he left his master; so much so, that as soon as he had got out of
the thicket, and looking round saw that Don Quixote was not within sight, he
dismounted from his ass, and seating himself at the foot of a tree began to
commune with himself, saying, "Now, brother Sancho, let us know where your
worship is going. Are you going to look for some ass that has been lost? Not at
all. Then what are you going to look for? I am going to look for a princess,
that's all; and in her for the sun of beauty and the whole heaven at once. And
where do you expect to find all this, Sancho? Where? Why, in the great city of
El Toboso. Well, and for whom are you going to look for her? For the famous
knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, who rights wrongs, gives food to those who
thirst and drink to the hungry. That's all very well, but do you know her
house, Sancho? My master says it will be some royal palace or grand castle. And
have you ever seen her by any chance? Neither I nor my master ever saw her. And
does it strike you that it would be just and right if the El Toboso people,
finding out that you were here with the intention of going to tamper with their
princesses and trouble their ladies, were to come and cudgel your ribs, and not
leave a whole bone in you? They would, indeed, have very good reason, if they
did not see that I am under orders, and that 'you are a messenger, my friend,
no blame belongs to you.' Don't you trust to that, Sancho, for the Manchegan
folk are as hot-tempered as they are honest, and won't put up with liberties
from anybody. By the Lord, if they get scent of you, it will be worse for you,
I promise you. Be off, you scoundrel! Let the bolt fall. Why should I go
looking for three feet on a cat, to please another man; and what is more, when
looking for Dulcinea will be looking for Marica in Ravena, or the bachelor in
Salamanca? The devil, the devil and nobody else, has mixed me up in this
business!"
Such was the soliloquy Sancho held with himself, and all the
conclusion he could come to was to say to himself again, "Well, there's remedy
for everything except death, under whose yoke we have all to pass, whether we
like it or not, when life's finished. I have seen by a thousand signs that this
master of mine is a madman fit to be tied, and for that matter, I too, am not
behind him; for I'm a greater fool than he is when I follow him and serve him,
if there's any truth in the proverb that says, 'Tell me what company thou
keepest, and I'll tell thee what thou art,' or in that other, 'Not with whom
thou art bred, but with whom thou art fed.' Well then, if he be mad, as he is,
and with a madness that mostly takes one thing for another, and white for
black, and black for white, as was seen when he said the windmills were giants,
and the monks' mules dromedaries, flocks of sheep armies of enemies, and much
more to the same tune, it will not be very hard to make him believe that some
country girl, the first I come across here, is the lady Dulcinea; and if he
does not believe it, I'll swear it; and if he should swear, I'll swear again;
and if he persists I'll persist still more, so as, come what may, to have my
quoit always over the peg. Maybe, by holding out in this way, I may put a stop
to his sending me on messages of this kind another time; or maybe he will
think, as I suspect he will, that one of those wicked enchanters, who he says
have a spite against him, has changed her form for the sake of doing him an ill
turn and injuring him."
With this reflection Sancho made his mind easy, counting the
business as good as settled, and stayed there till the afternoon so as to make
Don Quixote think he had time enough to go to El Toboso and return; and things
turned out so luckily for him that as he got up to mount Dapple, he spied,
coming from El Toboso towards the spot where he stood, three peasant girls on
three colts, or fillies- for the author does not make the point clear, though
it is more likely they were she-asses, the usual mount with village girls; but
as it is of no great consequence, we need not stop to prove it.
To be brief, the instant Sancho saw the peasant girls, he returned
full speed to seek his master, and found him sighing and uttering a thousand
passionate lamentations. When Don Quixote saw him he exclaimed, "What news,
Sancho, my friend? Am I to mark this day with a white stone or a black?"
"Your worship," replied Sancho, "had better mark it with ruddle,
like the inscriptions on the walls of class rooms, that those who see it may
see it plain."
"Then thou bringest good news," said Don Quixote.
"So good," replied Sancho, "that your worship bas only to spur
Rocinante and get out into the open field to see the lady Dulcinea del Toboso,
who, with two others, damsels of hers, is coming to see your worship."
"Holy God! what art thou saying, Sancho, my friend?" exclaimed Don
Quixote. "Take care thou art not deceiving me, or seeking by false joy to cheer
my real sadness."
"What could I get by deceiving your worship," returned Sancho,
"especially when it will so soon be shown whether I tell the truth or not?
Come, senor, push on, and you will see the princess our mistress coming, robed
and adorned- in fact, like what she is. Her damsels and she are all one glow of
gold, all bunches of pearls, all diamonds, all rubies, all cloth of brocade of
more than ten borders; with their hair loose on their shoulders like so many
sunbeams playing with the wind; and moreover, they come mounted on three
piebald cackneys, the finest sight ever you saw."
"Hackneys, you mean, Sancho," said Don Quixote.
"There is not much difference between cackneys and hackneys," said
Sancho; "but no matter what they come on, there they are, the finest ladies one
could wish for, especially my lady the princess Dulcinea, who staggers one's
senses."
"Let us go, Sancho, my son," said Don Quixote, "and in guerdon of
this news, as unexpected as it is good, I bestow upon thee the best spoil I
shall win in the first adventure I may have; or if that does not satisfy thee,
I promise thee the foals I shall have this year from my three mares that thou
knowest are in foal on our village common."
"I'll take the foals," said Sancho; "for it is not quite certain
that the spoils of the first adventure will be good ones."
By this time they had cleared the wood, and saw the three village
lasses close at hand. Don Quixote looked all along the road to El Toboso, and
as he could see nobody except the three peasant girls, he was completely
puzzled, and asked Sancho if it was outside the city he had left them.
"How outside the city?" returned Sancho. "Are your worship's eyes
in the back of your head, that you can't see that they are these who are coming
here, shining like the very sun at noonday?"
"I see nothing, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but three country
girls on three jackasses."
"Now, may God deliver me from the devil!" said Sancho, "and can it
be that your worship takes three hackneys- or whatever they're called- as white
as the driven snow, for jackasses? By the Lord, I could tear my beard if that
was the case!"
"Well, I can only say, Sancho, my friend," said Don Quixote, "that
it is as plain they are jackasses- or jennyasses- as that I am Don Quixote, and
thou Sancho Panza: at any rate, they seem to me to be so."
"Hush, senor," said Sancho, "don't talk that way, but open your
eyes, and come and pay your respects to the lady of your thoughts, who is close
upon us now;" and with these words he advanced to receive the three village
lasses, and dismounting from Dapple, caught hold of one of the asses of the
three country girls by the halter, and dropping on both knees on the ground, he
said, "Queen and princess and duchess of beauty, may it please your haughtiness
and greatness to receive into your favour and good-will your captive knight who
stands there turned into marble stone, and quite stupefied and benumbed at
finding himself in your magnificent presence. I am Sancho Panza, his squire,
and he the vagabond knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called 'The
Knight of the Rueful Countenance.""
Don Quixote had by this time placed himself on his knees beside
Sancho, and, with eyes starting out of his head and a puzzled gaze, was
regarding her whom Sancho called queen and lady; and as he could see nothing in
her except a village lass, and not a very well-favoured one, for she was
platter-faced and snub-nosed, he was perplexed and bewildered, and did not
venture to open his lips. The country girls, at the same time, were astonished
to see these two men, so different in appearance, on their knees, preventing
their companion from going on. She, however, who had been stopped, breaking
silence, said angrily and testily, "Get out of the way, bad luck to you, and
let us pass, for we are in a hurry."
To which Sancho returned, "Oh, princess and universal lady of El
Toboso, is not your magnanimous heart softened by seeing the pillar and prop of
knight-errantry on his knees before your sublimated presence?"
On hearing this, one of the others exclaimed, "Woa then! why, I'm
rubbing thee down, she-ass of my father-in-law! See how the lordlings come to
make game of the village girls now, as if we here could not chaff as well as
themselves. Go your own way, and let us go ours, and it will be better for
you."
"Get up, Sancho," said Don Quixote at this; "I see that fortune,
'with evil done to me unsated still,' has taken possession of all the roads by
which any comfort may reach 'this wretched soul' that I carry in my flesh. And
thou, highest perfection of excellence that can be desired, utmost limit of
grace in human shape, sole relief of this afflicted heart that adores thee,
though the malign enchanter that persecutes me has brought clouds and cataracts
on my eyes, and to them, and them only, transformed thy unparagoned beauty and
changed thy features into those of a poor peasant girl, if so be he has not at
the same time changed mine into those of some monster to render them loathsome
in thy sight, refuse not to look upon me with tenderness and love; seeing in
this submission that I make on my knees to thy transformed beauty the humility
with which my soul adores thee."
"Hey-day! My grandfather!" cried the girl, "much I care for your
love-making! Get out of the way and let us pass, and we'll thank you."
Sancho stood aside and let her go, very well pleased to have got
so well out of the hobble he was in. The instant the village lass who had done
duty for Dulcinea found herself free, prodding her "cackney" with a spike she
had at the end of a stick, she set off at full speed across the field. The
she-ass, however, feeling the point more acutely than usual, began cutting such
capers, that it flung the lady Dulcinea to the ground; seeing which, Don
Quixote ran to raise her up, and Sancho to fix and girth the pack-saddle, which
also had slipped under the ass's belly. The pack-saddle being secured, as Don
Quixote was about to lift up his enchanted mistress in his arms and put her
upon her beast, the lady, getting up from the ground, saved him the trouble,
for, going back a little, she took a short run, and putting both hands on the
croup of the ass she dropped into the saddle more lightly than a falcon, and
sat astride like a man, whereat Sancho said, "Rogue!" but our lady is lighter
than a lanner, and might teach the cleverest Cordovan or Mexican how to mount;
she cleared the back of the saddle in one jump, and without spurs she is making
the hackney go like a zebra; and her damsels are no way behind her, for they
all fly like the wind;" which was the truth, for as soon as they saw Dulcinea
mounted, they pushed on after her, and sped away without looking back, for more
than half a league.
Don Quixote followed them with his eyes, and when they were no
longer in sight, he turned to Sancho and said, "How now, Sancho? thou seest how
I am hated by enchanters! And see to what a length the malice and spite they
bear me go, when they seek to deprive me of the happiness it would give me to
see my lady in her own proper form. The fact is I was born to be an example of
misfortune, and the target and mark at which the arrows of adversity are aimed
and directed. Observe too, Sancho, that these traitors were not content with
changing and transforming my Dulcinea, but they transformed and changed her
into a shape as mean and ill-favoured as that of the village girl yonder; and
at the same time they robbed her of that which is such a peculiar property of
ladies of distinction, that is to say, the sweet fragrance that comes of being
always among perfumes and flowers. For I must tell thee, Sancho, that when I
approached to put Dulcinea upon her hackney (as thou sayest it was, though to
me it appeared a she-ass), she gave me a whiff of raw garlic that made my head
reel, and poisoned my very heart."
"O scum of the earth!" cried Sancho at this, "O miserable,
spiteful enchanters! O that I could see you all strung by the gills, like
sardines on a twig! Ye know a great deal, ye can do a great deal, and ye do a
great deal more. It ought to have been enough for you, ye scoundrels, to have
changed the pearls of my lady's eyes into oak galls, and her hair of purest
gold into the bristles of a red ox's tail, and in short, all her features from
fair to foul, without meddling with her smell; for by that we might somehow
have found out what was hidden underneath that ugly rind; though, to tell the
truth, I never perceived her ugliness, but only her beauty, which was raised to
the highest pitch of perfection by a mole she had on her right lip, like a
moustache, with seven or eight red hairs like threads of gold, and more than a
palm long."
"From the correspondence which exists between those of the face
and those of the body," said Don Quixote, "Dulcinea must have another mole
resembling that on the thick of the thigh on that side on which she has the one
on her ace; but hairs of the length thou hast mentioned are very long for
moles."
"Well, all I can say is there they were as plain as could be,"
replied Sancho.
"I believe it, my friend," returned Don Quixote; "for nature
bestowed nothing on Dulcinea that was not perfect and well-finished; and so, if
she had a hundred moles like the one thou hast described, in her they would not
be moles, but moons and shining stars. But tell me, Sancho, that which seemed
to me to be a pack-saddle as thou wert fixing it, was it a flat-saddle or a
side-saddle?"
"It was neither," replied Sancho, "but a jineta saddle, with a
field covering worth half a kingdom, so rich is it."
"And that I could not see all this, Sancho!" said Don Quixote;
"once more I say, and will say a thousand times, I am the most unfortunate of
men."
Sancho, the rogue, had enough to do to hide his laughter, at
hearing the simplicity of the master he had so nicely befooled. At length,
after a good deal more conversation had passed between them, they remounted
their beasts, and followed the road to Saragossa, which they expected to reach
in time to take part in a certain grand festival which is held every year in
that illustrious city; but before they got there things happened to them, so
many, so important, and so strange, that they deserve to be recorded and read,
as will be seen farther on.
  Chapter XI
Of the strange adventure which the valiant Don
Quixote had with the car or cart of "the cortes of death"
Dejected beyond measure did Don Quixote pursue his journey,
turning over in his mind the cruel trick the enchanters had played him in
changing his lady Dulcinea into the vile shape of the village lass, nor could
he think of any way of restoring her to her original form; and these
reflections so absorbed him, that without being aware of it he let go
Rocinante's bridle, and he, perceiving the liberty that was granted him,
stopped at every step to crop the fresh grass with which the plain abounded.
Sancho recalled him from his reverie. "Melancholy, senor," said
he, "was made, not for beasts, but for men; but if men give way to it overmuch
they turn to beasts; control yourself, your worship; be yourself again; gather
up Rocinante's reins; cheer up, rouse yourself and show that gallant spirit
that knights-errant ought to have. What the devil is this? What weakness is
this? Are we here or in France? The devil fly away with all the Dulcineas in
the world; for the well-being of a single knight-errant is of more consequence
than all the enchantments and transformations on earth."
"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote in a weak and faint voice, "hush
and utter no blasphemies against that enchanted lady; for I alone am to blame
for her misfortune and hard fate; her calamity has come of the hatred the
wicked bear me."
"So say I," returned Sancho; "his heart rend in twain, I trow, who
saw her once, to see her now."
"Thou mayest well say that, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "as thou
sawest her in the full perfection of her beauty; for the enchantment does not
go so far as to pervert thy vision or hide her loveliness from thee; against me
alone and against my eyes is the strength of its venom directed. Nevertheless,
there is one thing which has occurred to me, and that is that thou didst ill
describe her beauty to me, for, as well as I recollect, thou saidst that her
eyes were pearls; but eyes that are like pearls are rather the eyes of a
sea-bream than of a lady, and I am persuaded that Dulcinea's must be green
emeralds, full and soft, with two rainbows for eyebrows; take away those pearls
from her eyes and transfer them to her teeth; for beyond a doubt, Sancho, thou
hast taken the one for the other, the eyes for the teeth."
"Very likely," said Sancho; "for her beauty bewildered me as much
as her ugliness did your worship; but let us leave it all to God, who alone
knows what is to happen in this vale of tears, in this evil world of ours,
where there is hardly a thing to be found without some mixture of wickedness,
roguery, and rascality. But one thing, senor, troubles me more than all the
rest, and that is thinking what is to be done when your worship conquers some
giant, or some other knight, and orders him to go and present himself before
the beauty of the lady Dulcinea. Where is this poor giant, or this poor wretch
of a vanquished knight, to find her? I think I can see them wandering all over
El Toboso, looking like noddies, and asking for my lady Dulcinea; and even if
they meet her in the middle of the street they won't know her any more than
they would my father."
"Perhaps, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "the enchantment does not
go so far as to deprive conquered and presented giants and knights of the power
of recognising Dulcinea; we will try by experiment with one or two of the first
I vanquish and send to her, whether they see her or not, by commanding them to
return and give me an account of what happened to them in this respect."
"I declare, I think what your worship has proposed is excellent,"
said Sancho; "and that by this plan we shall find out what we want to know; and
if it be that it is only from your worship she is hidden, the misfortune will
be more yours than hers; but so long as the lady Dulcinea is well and happy, we
on our part will make the best of it, and get on as well as we can, seeking our
adventures, and leaving Time to take his own course; for he is the best
physician for these and greater ailments."
Don Quixote was about to reply to Sancho Panza, but he was
prevented by a cart crossing the road full of the most diverse and strange
personages and figures that could be imagined. He who led the mules and acted
as carter was a hideous demon; the cart was open to the sky, without a tilt or
cane roof, and the first figure that presented itself to Don Quixote's eyes was
that of Death itself with a human face; next to it was an angel with large
painted wings, and at one side an emperor, with a crown, to all appearance of
gold, on his head. At the feet of Death was the god called Cupid, without his
bandage, but with his bow, quiver, and arrows; there was also a knight in full
armour, except that he had no morion or helmet, but only a hat decked with
plumes of divers colours; and along with these there were others with a variety
of costumes and faces. All this, unexpectedly encountered, took Don Quixote
somewhat aback, and struck terror into the heart of Sancho; but the next
instant Don Quixote was glad of it, believing that some new perilous adventure
was presenting itself to him, and under this impression, and with a spirit
prepared to face any danger, he planted himself in front of the cart, and in a
loud and menacing tone, exclaimed, "Carter, or coachman, or devil, or whatever
thou art, tell me at once who thou art, whither thou art going, and who these
folk are thou carriest in thy wagon, which looks more like Charon's boat than
an ordinary cart."
To which the devil, stopping the cart, answered quietly, "Senor,
we are players of Angulo el Malo's company; we have been acting the play of
'The Cortes of Death' this morning, which is the octave of Corpus Christi, in a
village behind that hill, and we have to act it this afternoon in that village
which you can see from this; and as it is so near, and to save the trouble of
undressing and dressing again, we go in the costumes in which we perform. That
lad there appears as Death, that other as an angel, that woman, the manager's
wife, plays the queen, this one the soldier, that the emperor, and I the devil;
and I am one of the principal characters of the play, for in this company I
take the leading parts. If you want to know anything more about us, ask me and
I will answer with the utmost exactitude, for as I am a devil I am up to
everything."
"By the faith of a knight-errant," replied Don Quixote, "when I
saw this cart I fancied some great adventure was presenting itself to me; but I
declare one must touch with the hand what appears to the eye, if illusions are
to be avoided. God speed you, good people; keep your festival, and remember, if
you demand of me ought wherein I can render you a service, I will do it gladly
and willingly, for from a child I was fond of the play, and in my youth a keen
lover of the actor's art."
While they were talking, fate so willed it that one of the company
in a mummers' dress with a great number of bells, and armed with three blown
ox-bladders at the end of a stick, joined them, and this merry-andrew
approaching Don Quixote, began flourishing his stick and banging the ground
with the bladders and cutting capers with great jingling of the bells, which
untoward apparition so startled Rocinante that, in spite of Don Quixote's
efforts to hold him in, taking the bit between his teeth he set off across the
plain with greater speed than the bones of his anatomy ever gave any promise
of. Sancho, who thought his master was in danger of being thrown, jumped off
Dapple, and ran in all haste to help him; but by the time he reached him he was
already on the ground, and beside him was Rocinante, who had come down with his
master, the usual end and upshot of Rocinante's vivacity and high spirits. But
the moment Sancho quitted his beast to go and help Don Quixote, the dancing
devil with the bladders jumped up on Dapple, and beating him with them, more by
the fright and the noise than by the pain of the blows, made him fly across the
fields towards the village where they were going to hold their festival. Sancho
witnessed Dapple's career and his master's fall, and did not know which of the
two cases of need he should attend to first; but in the end, like a good squire
and good servant, he let his love for his master prevail over his affection for
his ass; though every time he saw the bladders rise in the air and come down on
the hind quarters of his Dapple he felt the pains and terrors of death, and he
would have rather had the blows fall on the apples of his own eyes than on the
least hair of his ass's tail. In this trouble and perplexity he came to where
Don Quixote lay in a far sorrier plight than he liked, and having helped him to
mount Rocinante, he said to him, "Senor, the devil has carried off my Dapple."
"What devil?" asked Don Quixote.
"The one with the bladders," said Sancho.
"Then I will recover him," said Don Quixote, "even if he be shut
up with him in the deepest and darkest dungeons of hell. Follow me, Sancho, for
the cart goes slowly, and with the mules of it I will make good the loss of
Dapple."
"You need not take the trouble, senor," said Sancho; "keep cool,
for as I now see, the devil has let Dapple go and he is coming back to his old
quarters;" and so it turned out, for, having come down with Dapple, in
imitation of Don Quixote and Rocinante, the devil made off on foot to the town,
and the ass came back to his master.
"For all that," said Don Quixote, "it will be well to visit the
discourtesy of that devil upon some of those in the cart, even if it were the
emperor himself."
"Don't think of it, your worship," returned Sancho; "take my
advice and never meddle with actors, for they are a favoured class; I myself
have known an actor taken up for two murders, and yet come off scot-free;
remember that, as they are merry folk who give pleasure, everyone favours and
protects them, and helps and makes much of them, above all when they are those
of the royal companies and under patent, all or most of whom in dress and
appearance look like princes."
"Still, for all that," said Don Quixote, "the player devil must
not go off boasting, even if the whole human race favours him."
So saying, he made for the cart, which was now very near the town,
shouting out as he went, "Stay! halt! ye merry, jovial crew! I want to teach
you how to treat asses and animals that serve the squires of knights-errant for
steeds."
So loud were the shouts of Don Quixote, that those in the cart
heard and understood them, and, guessing by the words what the speaker's
intention was, Death in an instant jumped out of the cart, and the emperor, the
devil carter and the angel after him, nor did the queen or the god Cupid stay
behind; and all armed themselves with stones and formed in line, prepared to
receive Don Quixote on the points of their pebbles. Don Quixote, when he saw
them drawn up in such a gallant array with uplifted arms ready for a mighty
discharge of stones, checked Rocinante and began to consider in what way he
could attack them with the least danger to himself. As he halted Sancho came
up, and seeing him disposed to attack this well-ordered squadron, said to him,
"It would be the height of madness to attempt such an enterprise; remember,
senor, that against sops from the brook, and plenty of them, there is no
defensive armour in the world, except to stow oneself away under a brass bell;
and besides, one should remember that it is rashness, and not valour, for a
single man to attack an army that has Death in it, and where emperors fight in
person, with angels, good and bad, to help them; and if this reflection will
not make you keep quiet, perhaps it will to know for certain that among all
these, though they look like kings, princes, and emperors, there is not a
single knight-errant."
"Now indeed thou hast hit the point, Sancho," said Don Quixote,
"which may and should turn me from the resolution I had already formed. I
cannot and must not draw sword, as I have many a time before told thee, against
anyone who is not a dubbed knight; it is for thee, Sancho, if thou wilt, to
take vengeance for the wrong done to thy Dapple; and I will help thee from here
by shouts and salutary counsels."
"There is no occasion to take vengeance on anyone, senor," replied
Sancho; "for it is not the part of good Christians to revenge wrongs; and
besides, I will arrange it with my ass to leave his grievance to my good-will
and pleasure, and that is to live in peace as long as heaven grants me life."
"Well," said Don Quixote, "if that be thy determination, good
Sancho, sensible Sancho, Christian Sancho, honest Sancho, let us leave these
phantoms alone and turn to the pursuit of better and worthier adventures; for,
from what I see of this country, we cannot fail to find plenty of marvellous
ones in it."
He at once wheeled about, Sancho ran to take possession of his
Dapple, Death and his flying squadron returned to their cart and pursued their
journey, and thus the dread adventure of the cart of Death ended happily,
thanks to the advice Sancho gave his master; who had, the following day, a
fresh adventure, of no less thrilling interest than the last, with an enamoured
knight-errant.
  Chapter XII
Of the strange adventure which befell the valiant
Don Quixote with the bold Knight of the Mirrors
The night succeeding the day of the encounter with Death, Don
Quixote and his squire passed under some tall shady trees, and Don Quixote at
Sancho's persuasion ate a little from the store carried by Dapple, and over
their supper Sancho said to his master, "Senor, what a fool I should have
looked if I had chosen for my reward the spoils of the first adventure your
worship achieved, instead of the foals of the three mares. After all, 'a
sparrow in the hand is better than a vulture on the wing.'"
"At the same time, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "if thou hadst
let me attack them as I wanted, at the very least the emperor's gold crown and
Cupid's painted wings would have fallen to thee as spoils, for I should have
taken them by force and given them into thy hands."
"The sceptres and crowns of those play-actor emperors," said
Sancho, "were never yet pure gold, but only brass foil or tin."
"That is true," said Don Quixote, "for it would not be right that
the accessories of the drama should be real, instead of being mere fictions and
semblances, like the drama itself; towards which, Sancho- and, as a necessary
consequence, towards those who represent and produce it- I would that thou wert
favourably disposed, for they are all instruments of great good to the State,
placing before us at every step a mirror in which we may see vividly displayed
what goes on in human life; nor is there any similitude that shows us more
faithfully what we are and ought to be than the play and the players. Come,
tell me, hast thou not seen a play acted in which kings, emperors, pontiffs,
knights, ladies, and divers other personages were introduced? One plays the
villain, another the knave, this one the merchant, that the soldier, one the
sharp-witted fool, another the foolish lover; and when the play is over, and
they have put off the dresses they wore in it, all the actors become equal."
"Yes, I have seen that," said Sancho.
"Well then," said Don Quixote, "the same thing happens in the
comedy and life of this world, where some play emperors, others popes, and, in
short, all the characters that can be brought into a play; but when it is over,
that is to say when life ends, death strips them all of the garments that
distinguish one from the other, and all are equal in the grave."
"A fine comparison!" said Sancho; "though not so new but that I
have heard it many and many a time, as well as that other one of the game of
chess; how, so long as the game lasts, each piece has its own particular
office, and when the game is finished they are all mixed, jumbled up and shaken
together, and stowed away in the bag, which is much like ending life in the
grave."
"Thou art growing less doltish and more shrewd every day, Sancho,"
said Don Quixote.
"Ay," said Sancho; "it must be that some of your worship's
shrewdness sticks to me; land that, of itself, is barren and dry, will come to
yield good fruit if you dung it and till it; what I mean is that your worship's
conversation has been the dung that has fallen on the barren soil of my dry
wit, and the time I have been in your service and society has been the tillage;
and with the help of this I hope to yield fruit in abundance that will not fall
away or slide from those paths of good breeding that your worship has made in
my parched understanding."
Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's affected phraseology, and
perceived that what he said about his improvement was true, for now and then he
spoke in a way that surprised him; though always, or mostly, when Sancho tried
to talk fine and attempted polite language, he wound up by toppling over from
the summit of his simplicity into the abyss of his ignorance; and where he
showed his culture and his memory to the greatest advantage was in dragging in
proverbs, no matter whether they had any bearing or not upon the subject in
hand, as may have been seen already and will be noticed in the course of this
history.
In conversation of this kind they passed a good part of the night,
but Sancho felt a desire to let down the curtains of his eyes, as he used to
say when he wanted to go to sleep; and stripping Dapple he left him at liberty
to graze his fill. He did not remove Rocinante's saddle, as his master's
express orders were, that so long as they were in the field or not sleeping
under a roof Rocinante was not to be stripped- the ancient usage established
and observed by knights-errant being to take off the bridle and hang it on the
saddle-bow, but to remove the saddle from the horse- never! Sancho acted
accordingly, and gave him the same liberty he had given Dapple, between whom
and Rocinante there was a friendship so unequalled and so strong, that it is
handed down by tradition from father to son, that the author of this veracious
history devoted some special chapters to it, which, in order to preserve the
propriety and decorum due to a history so heroic, he did not insert therein;
although at times he forgets this resolution of his and describes how eagerly
the two beasts would scratch one another when they were together and how, when
they were tired or full, Rocinante would lay his neck across Dapple's,
stretching half a yard or more on the other side, and the pair would stand
thus, gazing thoughtfully on the ground, for three days, or at least so long as
they were left alone, or hunger did not drive them to go and look for food. I
may add that they say the author left it on record that he likened their
friendship to that of Nisus and Euryalus, and Pylades and Orestes; and if that
be so, it may be perceived, to the admiration of mankind, how firm the
friendship must have been between these two peaceful animals, shaming men, who
preserve friendships with one another so badly. This was why it was said-
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For friend no longer is there friend; |
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The reeds turn lances now. |
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And some one else has sung-
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Friend to friend the bug, &c. |
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And let no one fancy that the author was at
all astray when he compared the friendship of these animals to that of men; for
men have received many lessons from beasts, and learned many important things,
as, for example, the clyster from the stork, vomit and gratitude from the dog,
watchfulness from the crane, foresight from the ant, modesty from the elephant,
and loyalty from the horse.
Sancho at last fell asleep at the foot of a cork tree, while Don
Quixote dozed at that of a sturdy oak; but a short time only had elapsed when a
noise he heard behind him awoke him, and rising up startled, he listened and
looked in the direction the noise came from, and perceived two men on
horseback, one of whom, letting himself drop from the saddle, said to the
other, "Dismount, my friend, and take the bridles off the horses, for, so far
as I can see, this place will furnish grass for them, and the solitude and
silence my love-sick thoughts need of." As he said this he stretched himself
upon the ground, and as he flung himself down, the armour in which he was clad
rattled, whereby Don Quixote perceived that he must be a knight-errant; and
going over to Sancho, who was asleep, he shook him by the arm and with no small
difficulty brought him back to his senses, and said in a low voice to him,
"Brother Sancho, we have got an adventure."
"God send us a good one," said Sancho; "and where may her ladyship
the adventure be?"
"Where, Sancho?" replied Don Quixote; "turn thine eyes and look,
and thou wilt see stretched there a knight-errant, who, it strikes me, is not
over and above happy, for I saw him fling himself off his horse and throw
himself on the ground with a certain air of dejection, and his armour rattled
as he fell."
"Well," said Sancho, "how does your worship make out that to be an
adventure?"
"I do not mean to say," returned Don Quixote, "that it is a
complete adventure, but that it is the beginning of one, for it is in this way
adventures begin. But listen, for it seems he is tuning a lute or guitar, and
from the way he is spitting and clearing his chest he must be getting ready to
sing something."
"Faith, you are right," said Sancho, "and no doubt he is some
enamoured knight."
"There is no knight-errant that is not," said Don Quixote; "but
let us listen to him, for, if he sings, by that thread we shall extract the
ball of his thoughts; because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth
speaketh."
Sancho was about to reply to his master, but the Knight of the
Grove's voice, which was neither very bad nor very good, stopped him, and
listening attentively the pair heard him sing this
Sonnet
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Your pleasure, prithee, lady mine, unfold; |
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Declare the terms that I am to obey; |
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My will to yours submissively I mould, |
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And from your law my feet shall never stray. |
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Would you I die, to silent grief a prey? |
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Then count me even now as dead and cold; |
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Would you I tell my woes in some new way? |
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Then shall my tale by Love itself be told. |
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The unison of opposites to prove, |
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Of the soft wax and diamond hard am I; |
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But still, obedient to the laws of love, |
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Here, hard or soft, I offer you my breast, |
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Whate'er you grave or stamp thereon shall rest
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Indelible for all eternity. |
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With an "Ah me!" that seemed to be drawn from the inmost recesses
of his heart, the Knight of the Grove brought his lay to an end, and shortly
afterwards exclaimed in a melancholy and piteous voice, "O fairest and most
ungrateful woman on earth! What! can it be, most serene Casildea de Vandalia,
that thou wilt suffer this thy captive knight to waste away and perish in
ceaseless wanderings and rude and arduous toils? It is not enough that I have
compelled all the knights of Navarre, all the Leonese, all the Tartesians, all
the Castilians, and finally all the knights of La Mancha, to confess thee the
most beautiful in the world?"
"Not so," said Don Quixote at this, "for I am of La Mancha, and I
have never confessed anything of the sort, nor could I nor should I confess a
thing so much to the prejudice of my lady's beauty; thou seest how this knight
is raving, Sancho. But let us listen, perhaps he will tell us more about
himself."
"That he will," returned Sancho, "for he seems in a mood to bewail
himself for a month at a stretch."
But this was not the case, for the Knight of the Grove, hearing
voices near him, instead of continuing his lamentation, stood up and exclaimed
in a distinct but courteous tone, "Who goes there? What are you? Do you belong
to the number of the happy or of the miserable?"
"Of the miserable," answered Don Quixote.
"Then come to me," said he of the Grove, "and rest assured that it
is to woe itself and affliction itself you come."
Don Quixote, finding himself answered in such a soft and courteous
manner, went over to him, and so did Sancho.
The doleful knight took Don Quixote by the arm, saying, "Sit down
here, sir knight; for, that you are one, and of those that profess
knight-errantry, it is to me a sufficient proof to have found you in this
place, where solitude and night, the natural couch and proper retreat of
knights-errant, keep you company." To which Don made answer, "A knight I am of
the profession you mention, and though sorrows, misfortunes, and calamities
have made my heart their abode, the compassion I feel for the misfortunes of
others has not been thereby banished from it. From what you have just now sung
I gather that yours spring from love, I mean from the love you bear that fair
ingrate you named in your lament."
In the meantime, they had seated themselves together on the hard
ground peaceably and sociably, just as if, as soon as day broke, they were not
going to break one another's heads.
"Are you, sir knight, in love perchance?" asked he of the Grove of
Don Quixote.
"By mischance I am," replied Don Quixote; "though the ills arising
from well-bestowed affections should be esteemed favours rather than
misfortunes."
"That is true," returned he of the Grove, "if scorn did not
unsettle our reason and understanding, for if it be excessive it looks like
revenge."
"I was never scorned by my lady," said Don Quixote.
"Certainly not," said Sancho, who stood close by, "for my lady is
as a lamb, and softer than a roll of butter."
"Is this your squire?" asked he of the Grove.
"He is," said Don Quixote.
"I never yet saw a squire," said he of the Grove, "who ventured to
speak when his master was speaking; at least, there is mine, who is as big as
his father, and it cannot be proved that he has ever opened his lips when I am
speaking."
"By my faith then," said Sancho, "I have spoken, and am fit to
speak, in the presence of one as much, or even- but never mind- it only makes
it worse to stir it."
The squire of the Grove took Sancho by the arm, saying to him,
"Let us two go where we can talk in squire style as much as we please, and
leave these gentlemen our masters to fight it out over the story of their
loves; and, depend upon it, daybreak will find them at it without having made
an end of it."
"So be it by all means," said Sancho; "and I will tell your
worship who I am, that you may see whether I am to be reckoned among the number
of the most talkative squires."
With this the two squires withdrew to one side, and between them
there passed a conversation as droll as that which passed between their masters
was serious.
  Chapter XIII
In which is continued the adventure of the Knight of
the Grove, together with the sensible, original, and tranquil colloquy that
passed between the two squires
The knights and the squires made two parties, these telling the
story of their lives, the others the story of their loves; but the history
relates first of all the conversation of the servants, and afterwards takes up
that of the masters; and it says that, withdrawing a little from the others, he
of the Grove said to Sancho, "A hard life it is we lead and live, senor, we
that are squires to knights-errant; verily, we eat our bread in the sweat of
our faces, which is one of the curses God laid on our first parents."
"It may be said, too," added Sancho, "that we eat it in the chill
of our bodies; for who gets more heat and cold than the miserable squires of
knight-errantry? Even so it would not be so bad if we had something to eat, for
woes are lighter if there's bread; but sometimes we go a day or two without
breaking our fast, except with the wind that blows."
"All that," said he of the Grove, "may be endured and put up with
when we have hopes of reward; for, unless the knight-errant he serves is
excessively unlucky, after a few turns the squire will at least find himself
rewarded with a fine government of some island or some fair county."
"I," said Sancho, "have already told my master that I shall be
content with the government of some island, and he is so noble and generous
that he has promised it to me ever so many times."
"I," said he of the Grove, "shall be satisfied with a canonry for
my services, and my master has already assigned me one."
"Your master," said Sancho, "no doubt is a knight in the Church
line, and can bestow rewards of that sort on his good squire; but mine is only
a layman; though I remember some clever, but, to my mind, designing people,
strove to persuade him to try and become an archbishop. He, however, would not
be anything but an emperor; but I was trembling all the time lest he should
take a fancy to go into the Church, not finding myself fit to hold office in
it; for I may tell you, though I seem a man, I am no better than a beast for
the Church."
"Well, then, you are wrong there," said he of the Grove; "for
those island governments are not all satisfactory; some are awkward, some are
poor, some are dull, and, in short, the highest and choicest brings with it a
heavy burden of cares and troubles which the unhappy wight to whose lot it has
fallen bears upon his shoulders. Far better would it be for us who have adopted
this accursed service to go back to our own houses, and there employ ourselves
in pleasanter occupations -in hunting or fishing, for instance; for what squire
in the world is there so poor as not to have a hack and a couple of greyhounds
and a fishingrod to amuse himself with in his own village?"
"I am not in want of any of those things," said Sancho; "to be
sure I have no hack, but I have an ass that is worth my master's horse twice
over; God send me a bad Easter, and that the next one I am to see, if I would
swap, even if I got four bushels of barley to boot. You will laugh at the value
I put on my Dapple- for dapple is the colour of my beast. As to greyhounds, I
can't want for them, for there are enough and to spare in my town; and,
moreover, there is more pleasure in sport when it is at other people's
expense."
"In truth and earnest, sir squire," said he of the Grove, "I have
made up my mind and determined to have done with these drunken vagaries of
these knights, and go back to my village, and bring up my children; for I have
three, like three Oriental pearls."
"I have two," said Sancho, "that might be presented before the
Pope himself, especially a girl whom I am breeding up for a countess, please
God, though in spite of her mother."
"And how old is this lady that is being bred up for a countess?"
asked he of the Grove.
"Fifteen, a couple of years more or less," answered Sancho; "but
she is as tall as a lance, and as fresh as an April morning, and as strong as a
porter."
"Those are gifts to fit her to be not only a countess but a nymph
of the greenwood," said he of the Grove; "whoreson strumpet! what pith the
rogue must have!"
To which Sancho made answer, somewhat sulkily, "She's no strumpet,
nor was her mother, nor will either of them be, please God, while I live; speak
more civilly; for one bred up among knights-errant, who are courtesy itself,
your words don't seem to me to be very becoming."
"O how little you know about compliments, sir squire," returned he
of the Grove. "What! don't you know that when a horseman delivers a good lance
thrust at the bull in the plaza, or when anyone does anything very well, the
people are wont to say, 'Ha, whoreson rip! how well he has done it!' and that
what seems to be abuse in the expression is high praise? Disown sons and
daughters, senor, who don't do what deserves that compliments of this sort
should be paid to their parents."
"I do disown them," replied Sancho, "and in this way, and by the
same reasoning, you might call me and my children and my wife all the strumpets
in the world, for all they do and say is of a kind that in the highest degree
deserves the same praise; and to see them again I pray God to deliver me from
mortal sin, or, what comes to the same thing, to deliver me from this perilous
calling of squire into which I have fallen a second time, decayed and beguiled
by a purse with a hundred ducats that I found one day in the heart of the
Sierra Morena; and the devil is always putting a bag full of doubloons before
my eyes, here, there, everywhere, until I fancy at every stop I am putting my
hand on it, and hugging it, and carrying it home with me, and making
investments, and getting interest, and living like a prince; and so long as I
think of this I make light of all the hardships I endure with this simpleton of
a master of mine, who, I well know, is more of a madman than a knight."
"There's why they say that 'covetousness bursts the bag,'" said he
of the Grove; "but if you come to talk of that sort, there is not a greater one
in the world than my master, for he is one of those of whom they say, 'the
cares of others kill the ass;' for, in order that another knight may recover
the senses he has lost, he makes a madman of himself and goes looking for what,
when found, may, for all I know, fly in his own face." "And is he in love
perchance?" asked Sancho.
"He is," said of the Grove, "with one Casildea de Vandalia, the
rawest and best roasted lady the whole world could produce; but that rawness is
not the only foot he limps on, for he has greater schemes rumbling in his
bowels, as will be seen before many hours are over."
"There's no road so smooth but it has some hole or hindrance in
it," said Sancho; "in other houses they cook beans, but in mine it's by the
potful; madness will have more followers and hangers-on than sound sense; but
if there be any truth in the common saying, that to have companions in trouble
gives some relief, I may take consolation from you, inasmuch as you serve a
master as crazy as my own."
"Crazy but valiant," replied he of the Grove, "and more roguish
than crazy or valiant."
"Mine is not that," said Sancho; "I mean he has nothing of the
rogue in him; on the contrary, he has the soul of a pitcher; he has no thought
of doing harm to anyone, only good to all, nor has he any malice whatever in
him; a child might persuade him that it is night at noonday; and for this
simplicity I love him as the core of my heart, and I can't bring myself to
leave him, let him do ever such foolish things."
"For all that, brother and senor," said he of the Grove, "if the
blind lead the blind, both are in danger of falling into the pit. It is better
for us to beat a quiet retreat and get back to our own quarters; for those who
seek adventures don't always find good ones."
Sancho kept spitting from time to time, and his spittle seemed
somewhat ropy and dry, observing which the compassionate squire of the Grove
said, "It seems to me that with all this talk of ours our tongues are sticking
to the roofs of our mouths; but I have a pretty good loosener hanging from the
saddle-bow of my horse," and getting up he came back the next minute with a
large bota of wine and a pasty half a yard across; and this is no exaggeration,
for it was made of a house rabbit so big that Sancho, as he handled it, took it
to be made of a goat, not to say a kid, and looking at it he said, "And do you
carry this with you, senor?"
"Why, what are you thinking about?" said the other; "do you take
me for some paltry squire? I carry a better larder on my horse's croup than a
general takes with him when he goes on a march."
Sancho ate without requiring to be pressed, and in the dark bolted
mouthfuls like the knots on a tether, and said he, "You are a proper trusty
squire, one of the right sort, sumptuous and grand, as this banquet shows,
which, if it has not come here by magic art, at any rate has the look of it;
not like me, unlucky beggar, that have nothing more in my alforjas than a scrap
of cheese, so hard that one might brain a giant with it, and, to keep it
company, a few dozen carobs and as many more filberts and walnuts; thanks to
the austerity of my master, and the idea he has and the rule he follows, that
knights-errant must not live or sustain themselves on anything except dried
fruits and the herbs of the field."
"By my faith, brother," said he of the Grove, "my stomach is not
made for thistles, or wild pears, or roots of the woods; let our masters do as
they like, with their chivalry notions and laws, and eat what those enjoin; I
carry my prog-basket and this bota hanging to the saddle-bow, whatever they may
say; and it is such an object of worship with me, and I love it so, that there
is hardly a moment but I am kissing and embracing it over and over again;" and
so saying he thrust it into Sancho's hands, who raising it aloft pointed to his
mouth, gazed at the stars for a quarter of an hour; and when he had done
drinking let his head fall on one side, and giving a deep sigh, exclaimed, "Ah,
whoreson rogue, how catholic it is!"
"There, you see," said he of the Grove, hearing Sancho's
exclamation, "how you have called this wine whoreson by way of praise."
"Well," said Sancho, "I own it, and I grant it is no dishonour to
call anyone whoreson when it is to be understood as praise. But tell me, senor,
by what you love best, is this Ciudad Real wine?"
"O rare wine-taster!" said he of the Grove; "nowhere else indeed
does it come from, and it has some years' age too."
"Leave me alone for that," said Sancho; "never fear but I'll hit
upon the place it came from somehow. What would you say, sir squire, to my
having such a great natural instinct in judging wines that you have only to let
me smell one and I can tell positively its country, its kind, its flavour and
soundness, the changes it will undergo, and everything that appertains to a
wine? But it is no wonder, for I have had in my family, on my father's side,
the two best wine-tasters that have been known in La Mancha for many a long
year, and to prove it I'll tell you now a thing that happened them. They gave
the two of them some wine out of a cask, to try, asking their opinion as to the
condition, quality, goodness or badness of the wine. One of them tried it with
the tip of his tongue, the other did no more than bring it to his nose. The
first said the wine had a flavour of iron, the second said it had a stronger
flavour of cordovan. The owner said the cask was clean, and that nothing had
been added to the wine from which it could have got a flavour of either iron or
leather. Nevertheless, these two great wine-tasters held to what they had said.
Time went by, the wine was sold, and when they came to clean out the cask, they
found in it a small key hanging to a thong of cordovan; see now if one who
comes of the same stock has not a right to give his opinion in such like
cases."
"Therefore, I say," said he of the Grove, "let us give up going in
quest of adventures, and as we have loaves let us not go looking for cakes, but
return to our cribs, for God will find us there if it be his will."
"Until my master reaches Saragossa," said Sancho, "I'll remain in
his service; after that we'll see."
The end of it was that the two squires talked so much and drank so
much that sleep had to tie their tongues and moderate their thirst, for to
quench it was impossible; and so the pair of them fell asleep clinging to the
now nearly empty bota and with half-chewed morsels in their mouths; and there
we will leave them for the present, to relate what passed between the Knight of
the Grove and him of the Rueful Countenance.
  Chapter XIV
Wherein is continued the adventure of the Knight of
the Grove
Among the things that passed between Don Quixote and the Knight of
the Wood, the history tells us he of the Grove said to Don Quixote, "In fine,
sir knight, I would have you know that my destiny, or, more properly speaking,
my choice led me to fall in love with the peerless Casildea de Vandalia. I call
her peerless because she has no peer, whether it be in bodily stature or in the
supremacy of rank and beauty. This same Casildea, then, that I speak of,
requited my honourable passion and gentle aspirations by compelling me, as his
stepmother did Hercules, to engage in many perils of various sorts, at the end
of each promising me that, with the end of the next, the object of my hopes
should be attained; but my labours have gone on increasing link by link until
they are past counting, nor do I know what will be the last one that is to be
the beginning of the accomplishment of my chaste desires. On one occasion she
bade me go and challenge the famous giantess of Seville, La Giralda by name,
who is as mighty and strong as if made of brass, and though never stirring from
one spot, is the most restless and changeable woman in the world. I came, I
saw, I conquered, and I made her stay quiet and behave herself, for nothing but
north winds blew for more than a week. Another time I was ordered to lift those
ancient stones, the mighty bulls of Guisando, an enterprise that might more
fitly be entrusted to porters than to knights. Again, she bade me fling myself
into the cavern of Cabra- an unparalleled and awful peril- and bring her a
minute account of all that is concealed in those gloomy depths. I stopped the
motion of the Giralda, I lifted the bulls of Guisando, I flung myself into the
cavern and brought to light the secrets of its abyss; and my hopes are as dead
as dead can be, and her scorn and her commands as lively as ever. To be brief,
last of all she has commanded me to go through all the provinces of Spain and
compel all the knights-errant wandering therein to confess that she surpasses
all women alive to-day in beauty, and that I am the most valiant and the most
deeply enamoured knight on earth; in support of which claim I have already
travelled over the greater part of Spain, and have there vanquished several
knights who have dared to contradict me; but what I most plume and pride myself
upon is having vanquished in single combat that so famous knight Don Quixote of
La Mancha, and made him confess that my Casildea is more beautiful than his
Dulcinea; and in this one victory I hold myself to have conquered all the
knights in the world; for this Don Quixote that I speak of has vanquished them
all, and I having vanquished him, his glory, his fame, and his honour have
passed and are transferred to my person; for
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The more the vanquished hath of fair renown, |
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The greater glory gilds the victor's crown. |
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Thus the innumerable achievements of the
said Don Quixote are now set down to my account and have become mine."
Don Quixote was amazed when he heard the Knight of the Grove, and
was a thousand times on the point of telling him he lied, and had the lie
direct already on the tip of his tongue; but he restrained himself as well as
he could, in order to force him to confess the lie with his own lips; so he
said to him quietly, "As to what you say, sir knight, about having vanquished
most of the knights of Spain, or even of the whole world, I say nothing; but
that you have vanquished Don Quixote of La Mancha I consider doubtful; it may
have been some other that resembled him, although there are few like him."
"How! not vanquished?" said he of the Grove; "by the heaven that
is above us I fought Don Quixote and overcame him and made him yield; and he is
a man of tall stature, gaunt features, long, lank limbs, with hair turning
grey, an aquiline nose rather hooked, and large black drooping moustaches; he
does battle under the name of 'The Countenance,' and he has for squire a
peasant called Sancho Panza; he presses the loins and rules the reins of a
famous steed called Rocinante; and lastly, he has for the mistress of his will
a certain Dulcinea del Toboso, once upon a time called Aldonza Lorenzo, just as
I call mine Casildea de Vandalia because her name is Casilda and she is of
Andalusia. If all these tokens are not enough to vindicate the truth of what I
say, here is my sword, that will compel incredulity itself to give credence to
it."
"Calm yourself, sir knight," said Don Quixote, "and give ear to
what I am about to say to you. you.I would have you know that this Don Quixote
you speak of is the greatest friend I have in the world; so much so that I may
say I regard him in the same light as my own person; and from the precise and
clear indications you have given I cannot but think that he must be the very
one you have vanquished. On the other hand, I see with my eyes and feel with my
hands that it is impossible it can have been the same; unless indeed it be
that, as he has many enemies who are enchanters, and one in particular who is
always persecuting him, some one of these may have taken his shape in order to
allow himself to be vanquished, so as to defraud him of the fame that his
exalted achievements as a knight have earned and acquired for him throughout
the known world. And in confirmation of this, I must tell you, too, that it is
but ten hours since these said enchanters his enemies transformed the shape and
person of the fair Dulcinea del Toboso into a foul and mean village lass, and
in the same way they must have transformed Don Quixote; and if all this does
not suffice to convince you of the truth of what I say, here is Don Quixote
himself, who will maintain it by arms, on foot or on horseback or in any way
you please."
And so saying he stood up and laid his hand on his sword, waiting
to see what the Knight of the Grove would do, who in an equally calm voice said
in reply, "Pledges don't distress a good payer; he who has succeeded in
vanquishing you once when transformed, Sir Don Quixote, may fairly hope to
subdue you in your own proper shape; but as it is not becoming for knights to
perform their feats of arms in the dark, like highwaymen and bullies, let us
wait till daylight, that the sun may behold our deeds; and the conditions of
our combat shall be that the vanquished shall be at the victor's disposal, to
do all that he may enjoin, provided the injunction be such as shall be becoming
a knight."
"I am more than satisfied with these conditions and terms,"
replied Don Quixote; and so saying, they betook themselves to where their
squires lay, and found them snoring, and in the same posture they were in when
sleep fell upon them. They roused them up, and bade them get the horses ready,
as at sunrise they were to engage in a bloody and arduous single combat; at
which intelligence Sancho was aghast and thunderstruck, trembling for the
safety of his master because of the mighty deeds he had heard the squire of the
Grove ascribe to his; but without a word the two squires went in quest of their
cattle; for by this time the three horses and the ass had smelt one another
out, and were all together.
On the way, he of the Grove said to Sancho, "You must know,
brother, that it is the custom with the fighting men of Andalusia, when they
are godfathers in any quarrel, not to stand idle with folded arms while their
godsons fight; I say so to remind you that while our masters are fighting, we,
too, have to fight, and knock one another to shivers."
"That custom, sir squire," replied Sancho, "may hold good among
those bullies and fighting men you talk of, but certainly not among the squires
of knights-errant; at least, I have never heard my master speak of any custom
of the sort, and he knows all the laws of knight-errantry by heart; but
granting it true that there is an express law that squires are to fight while
their masters are fighting, I don't mean to obey it, but to pay the penalty
that may be laid on peacefully minded squires like myself; for I am sure it
cannot be more than two pounds of wax, and I would rather pay that, for I know
it will cost me less than the lint I shall be at the expense of to mend my
head, which I look upon as broken and split already; there's another thing that
makes it impossible for me to fight, that I have no sword, for I never carried
one in my life."
"I know a good remedy for that," said he of the Grove; "I have
here two linen bags of the same size; you shall take one, and I the other, and
we will fight at bag blows with equal arms."
"If that's the way, so be it with all my heart," said Sancho, "for
that sort of battle will serve to knock the dust out of us instead of hurting
us."
"That will not do," said the other, "for we must put into the
bags, to keep the wind from blowing them away, half a dozen nice smooth
pebbles, all of the same weight; and in this way we shall be able to baste one
another without doing ourselves any harm or mischief."
"Body of my father!" said Sancho, "see what marten and sable, and
pads of carded cotton he is putting into the bags, that our heads may not be
broken and our bones beaten to jelly! But even if they are filled with toss
silk, I can tell you, senor, I am not going to fight; let our masters fight,
that's their lookout, and let us drink and live; for time will take care to
ease us of our lives, without our going to look for fillips so that they may be
finished off before their proper time comes and they drop from ripeness."
"Still," returned he of the Grove, "we must fight, if it be only
for half an hour."
"By no means," said Sancho; "I am not going to be so discourteous
or so ungrateful as to have any quarrel, be it ever so small, with one I have
eaten and drunk with; besides, who the devil could bring himself to fight in
cold blood, without anger or provocation?"
"I can remedy that entirely," said he of the Grove, "and in this
way: before we begin the battle, I will come up to your worship fair and
softly, and give you three or four buffets, with which I shall stretch you at
my feet and rouse your anger, though it were sleeping sounder than a dormouse."
"To match that plan," said Sancho, "I have another that is not a
whit behind it; I will take a cudgel, and before your worship comes near enough
to waken my anger I will send yours so sound to sleep with whacks, that it
won't waken unless it be in the other world, where it is known that I am not a
man to let my face be handled by anyone; let each look out for the arrow-
though the surer way would be to let everyone's anger sleep, for nobody knows
the heart of anyone, and a man may come for wool and go back shorn; God gave
his blessing to peace and his curse to quarrels; if a hunted cat, surrounded
and hard pressed, turns into a lion, God knows what I, who am a man, may turn
into; and so from this time forth I warn you, sir squire, that all the harm and
mischief that may come of our quarrel will be put down to your account."
"Very good," said he of the Grove; "God will send the dawn and we
shall be all right."
And now gay-plumaged birds of all sorts began to warble in the
trees, and with their varied and gladsome notes seemed to welcome and salute
the fresh morn that was beginning to show the beauty of her countenance at the
gates and balconies of the east, shaking from her locks a profusion of liquid
pearls; in which dulcet moisture bathed, the plants, too, seemed to shed and
shower down a pearly spray, the willows distilled sweet manna, the fountains
laughed, the brooks babbled, the woods rejoiced, and the meadows arrayed
themselves in all their glory at her coming. But hardly had the light of day
made it possible to see and distinguish things, when the first object that
presented itself to the eyes of Sancho Panza was the squire of the Grove's
nose, which was so big that it almost overshadowed his whole body. It is, in
fact, stated, that it was of enormous size, hooked in the middle, covered with
warts, and of a mulberry colour like an egg-plant; it hung down two fingers'
length below his mouth, and the size, the colour, the warts, and the bend of
it, made his face so hideous, that Sancho, as he looked at him, began to
tremble hand and foot like a child in convulsions, and he vowed in his heart to
let himself be given two hundred buffets, sooner than be provoked to fight that
monster. Don Quixote examined his adversary, and found that he already had his
helmet on and visor lowered, so that he could not see his face; he observed,
however, that he was a sturdily built man, but not very tall in stature. Over
his armour he wore a surcoat or cassock of what seemed to be the finest cloth
of gold, all bespangled with glittering mirrors like little moons, which gave
him an extremely gallant and splendid appearance; above his helmet fluttered a
great quantity of plumes, green, yellow, and white, and his lance, which was
leaning against a tree, was very long and stout, and had a steel point more
than a palm in length.
Don Quixote observed all, and took note of all, and from what he
saw and observed he concluded that the said knight must be a man of great
strength, but he did not for all that give way to fear, like Sancho Panza; on
the contrary, with a composed and dauntless air, he said to the Knight of the
Mirrors, "If, sir knight, your great eagerness to fight has not banished your
courtesy, by it I would entreat you to raise your visor a little, in order that
I may see if the comeliness of your countenance corresponds with that of your
equipment."
"Whether you come victorious or vanquished out of this emprise,
sir knight," replied he of the Mirrors, "you will have more than enough time
and leisure to see me; and if now I do not comply with your request, it is
because it seems to me I should do a serious wrong to the fair Casildea de
Vandalia in wasting time while I stopped to raise my visor before compelling
you to confess what you are already aware I maintain."
"Well then," said Don Quixote, "while we are mounting you can at
least tell me if I am that Don Quixote whom you said you vanquished."
"To that we answer you," said he of the Mirrors, "that you are as
like the very knight I vanquished as one egg is like another, but as you say
enchanters persecute you, I will not venture to say positively whether you are
the said person or not."
"That," said Don Quixote, "is enough to convince me that you are
under a deception; however, entirely to relieve you of it, let our horses be
brought, and in less time than it would take you to raise your visor, if God,
my lady, and my arm stand me in good stead, I shall see your face, and you
shall see that I am not the vanquished Don Quixote you take me to be."
With this, cutting short the colloquy, they mounted, and Don
Quixote wheeled Rocinante round in order to take a proper distance to charge
back upon his adversary, and he of the Mirrors did the same; but Don Quixote
had not moved away twenty paces when he heard himself called by the other, and,
each returning half-way, he of the Mirrors said to him, "Remember, sir knight,
that the terms of our combat are, that the vanquished, as I said before, shall
be at the victor's disposal."
"I am aware of it already," said Don Quixote; "provided what is
commanded and imposed upon the vanquished be things that do not transgress the
limits of chivalry."
"That is understood," replied he of the Mirrors.
At this moment the extraordinary nose of the squire presented
itself to Don Quixote's view, and he was no less amazed than Sancho at the
sight; insomuch that he set him down as a monster of some kind, or a human
being of some new species or unearthly breed. Sancho, seeing his master
retiring to run his course, did not like to be left alone with the nosy man,
fearing that with one flap of that nose on his own the battle would be all over
for him and he would be left stretched on the ground, either by the blow or
with fright; so he ran after his master, holding on to Rocinante's
stirrup-leather, and when it seemed to him time to turn about, he said, "I
implore of your worship, senor, before you turn to charge, to help me up into
this cork tree, from which I will be able to witness the gallant encounter your
worship is going to have with this knight, more to my taste and better than
from the ground."
"It seems to me rather, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou
wouldst mount a scaffold in order to see the bulls without danger."
"To tell the truth," returned Sancho, "the monstrous nose of that
squire has filled me with fear and terror, and I dare not stay near him."
"It is," said Don Quixote, "such a one that were I not what I am
it would terrify me too; so, come, I will help thee up where thou wilt."
While Don Quixote waited for Sancho to mount into the cork tree he
of the Mirrors took as much ground as he considered requisite, and, supposing
Don Quixote to have done the same, without waiting for any sound of trumpet or
other signal to direct them, he wheeled his horse, which was not more agile or
better-looking than Rocinante, and at his top speed, which was an easy trot, he
proceeded to charge his enemy; seeing him, however, engaged in putting Sancho
up, he drew rein, and halted in mid career, for which his horse was very
grateful, as he was already unable to go. Don Quixote, fancying that his foe
was coming down upon him flying, drove his spurs vigorously into Rocinante's
lean flanks and made him scud along in such style that the history tells us
that on this occasion only was he known to make something like running, for on
all others it was a simple trot with him; and with this unparalleled fury he
bore down where he of the Mirrors stood digging his spurs into his horse up to
buttons, without being able to make him stir a finger's length from the spot
where he had come to a standstill in his course. At this lucky moment and
crisis, Don Quixote came upon his adversary, in trouble with his horse, and
embarrassed with his lance, which he either could not manage, or had no time to
lay in rest. Don Quixote, however, paid no attention to these difficulties, and
in perfect safety to himself and without any risk encountered him of the
Mirrors with such force that he brought him to the ground in spite of himself
over the haunches of his horse, and with so heavy a fall that he lay to all
appearance dead, not stirring hand or foot. The instant Sancho saw him fall he
slid down from the cork tree, and made all haste to where his master was, who,
dismounting from Rocinante, went and stood over him of the Mirrors, and
unlacing his helmet to see if he was dead, and to give him air if he should
happen to be alive, he saw- who can say what he saw, without filling all who
hear it with astonishment, wonder, and awe? He saw, the history says, the very
countenance, the very face, the very look, the very physiognomy, the very
effigy, the very image of the bachelor Samson Carrasco! As soon as he saw it he
called out in a loud voice, "Make haste here, Sancho, and behold what thou art
to see but not to believe; quick, my son, and learn what magic can do, and
wizards and enchanters are capable of."
Sancho came up, and when he saw the countenance of the bachelor
Carrasco, he fell to crossing himself a thousand times, and blessing himself as
many more. All this time the prostrate knight showed no signs of life, and
Sancho said to Don Quixote, "It is my opinion, senor, that in any case your
worship should take and thrust your sword into the mouth of this one here that
looks like the bachelor Samson Carrasco; perhaps in him you will kill one of
your enemies, the enchanters."
"Thy advice is not bad," said Don Quixote, "for of enemies the
fewer the better;" and he was drawing his sword to carry into effect Sancho's
counsel and suggestion, when the squire of the Mirrors came up, now without the
nose which had made him so hideous, and cried out in a loud voice, "Mind what
you are about, Senor Don Quixote; that is your friend, the bachelor Samson
Carrasco, you have at your feet, and I am his squire."
"And the nose?" said Sancho, seeing him without the hideous
feature he had before; to which he replied, "I have it here in my pocket," and
putting his hand into his right pocket, he pulled out a masquerade nose of
varnished pasteboard of the make already described; and Sancho, examining him
more and more closely, exclaimed aloud in a voice of amazement, "Holy Mary be
good to me! Isn't it Tom Cecial, my neighbour and gossip?"
"Why, to be sure I am!" returned the now unnosed squire; "Tom
Cecial I am, gossip and friend Sancho Panza; and I'll tell you presently the
means and tricks and falsehoods by which I have been brought here; but in the
meantime, beg and entreat of your master not to touch, maltreat, wound, or slay
the Knight of the Mirrors whom he has at his feet; because, beyond all dispute,
it is the rash and ill-advised bachelor Samson Carrasco, our fellow townsman."
At this moment he of the Mirrors came to himself, and Don Quixote
perceiving it, held the naked point of his sword over his face, and said to
him, "You are a dead man, knight, unless you confess that the peerless Dulcinea
del Toboso excels your Casildea de Vandalia in beauty; and in addition to this
you must promise, if you should survive this encounter and fall, to go to the
city of El Toboso and present yourself before her on my behalf, that she deal
with you according to her good pleasure; and if she leaves you free to do
yours, you are in like manner to return and seek me out (for the trail of my
mighty deeds will serve you as a guide to lead you to where I may be), and tell
me what may have passed between you and her- conditions which, in accordance
with what we stipulated before our combat, do not transgress the just limits of
knight-errantry."
"I confess," said the fallen knight, "that the dirty tattered shoe
of the lady Dulcinea del Toboso is better than the ill-combed though clean
beard of Casildea; and I promise to go and to return from her presence to
yours, and to give you a full and particular account of all you demand of me."
"You must also confess and believe," added Don Quixote, "that the
knight you vanquished was not and could not be Don Quixote of La Mancha, but
some one else in his likeness, just as I confess and believe that you, though
you seem to be the bachelor Samson Carrasco, are not so, but some other
resembling him, whom my enemies have here put before me in his shape, in order
that I may restrain and moderate the vehemence of my wrath, and make a gentle
use of the glory of my victory."
"I confess, hold, and think everything to be as you believe, hold,
and think it," the crippled knight; "let me rise, I entreat you; if, indeed,
the shock of my fall will allow me, for it has left me in a sorry plight
enough."
Don Quixote helped him to rise, with the assistance of his squire
Tom Cecial; from whom Sancho never took his eyes, and to whom he put questions,
the replies to which furnished clear proof that he was really and truly the Tom
Cecial he said; but the impression made on Sancho's mind by what his master
said about the enchanters having changed the face of the Knight of the Mirrors
into that of the bachelor Samson Carrasco, would not permit him to believe what
he saw with his eyes. In fine, both master and man remained under the delusion;
and, down in the mouth, and out of luck, he of the Mirrors and his squire
parted from Don Quixote and Sancho, he meaning to go look for some village
where he could plaster and strap his ribs. Don Quixote and Sancho resumed their
journey to Saragossa, and on it the history leaves them in order that it may
tell who the Knight of the Mirrors and his long-nosed squire were.
  Chapter XV
Wherein it is told and known who the Knight of the
Mirrors and his squire were
Don Quixote went off satisfied, elated, and vain-glorious in the
highest degree at having won a victory over such a valiant knight as he fancied
him of the Mirrors to be, and one from whose knightly word he expected to learn
whether the enchantment of his lady still continued; inasmuch as the said
vanquished knight was bound, under the penalty of ceasing to be one, to return
and render him an account of what took place between him and her. But Don
Quixote was of one mind, he of the Mirrors of another, for he just then had no
thought of anything but finding some village where he could plaster himself, as
has been said already. The history goes on to say, then, that when the bachelor
Samson Carrasco recommended Don Quixote to resume his knight-errantry which he
had laid aside, it was in consequence of having been previously in conclave
with the curate and the barber on the means to be adopted to induce Don Quixote
to stay at home in peace and quiet without worrying himself with his
ill-starred adventures; at which consultation it was decided by the unanimous
vote of all, and on the special advice of Carrasco, that Don Quixote should be
allowed to go, as it seemed impossible to restrain him, and that Samson should
sally forth to meet him as a knight-errant, and do battle with him, for there
would be no difficulty about a cause, and vanquish him, that being looked upon
as an easy matter; and that it should be agreed and settled that the vanquished
was to be at the mercy of the victor. Then, Don Quixote being vanquished, the
bachelor knight was to command him to return to his village and his house, and
not quit it for two years, or until he received further orders from him; all
which it was clear Don Quixote would unhesitatingly obey, rather than
contravene or fail to observe the laws of chivalry; and during the period of
his seclusion he might perhaps forget his folly, or there might be an
opportunity of discovering some ready remedy for his madness. Carrasco
undertook the task, and Tom Cecial, a gossip and neighbour of Sancho Panza's, a
lively, feather-headed fellow, offered himself as his squire. Carrasco armed
himself in the fashion described, and Tom Cecial, that he might not be known by
his gossip when they met, fitted on over his own natural nose the false
masquerade one that has been mentioned; and so they followed the same route Don
Quixote took, and almost came up with him in time to be present at the
adventure of the cart of Death and finally encountered them in the grove, where
all that the sagacious reader has been reading about took place; and had it not
been for the extraordinary fancies of Don Quixote, and his conviction that the
bachelor was not the bachelor, senor bachelor would have been incapacitated for
ever from taking his degree of licentiate, all through not finding nests where
he thought to find birds.
Tom Cecial, seeing how ill they had succeeded, and what a sorry
end their expedition had come to, said to the bachelor, "Sure enough, Senor
Samson Carrasco, we are served right; it is easy enough to plan and set about
an enterprise, but it is often a difficult matter to come well out of it. Don
Quixote a madman, and we sane; he goes off laughing, safe, and sound, and you
are left sore and sorry! I'd like to know now which is the madder, he who is so
because he cannot help it, or he who is so of his own choice?"
To which Samson replied, "The difference between the two sorts of
madmen is, that he who is so will he nil he, will be one always, while he who
is so of his own accord can leave off being one whenever he likes."
"In that case," said Tom Cecial, "I was a madman of my own accord
when I volunteered to become your squire, and, of my own accord, I'll leave off
being one and go home."
"That's your affair," returned Samson, "but to suppose that I am
going home until I have given Don Quixote a thrashing is absurd; and it is not
any wish that he may recover his senses that will make me hunt him out now, but
a wish for the sore pain I am in with my ribs won't let me entertain more
charitable thoughts."
Thus discoursing, the pair proceeded until they reached a town
where it was their good luck to find a bone-setter, with whose help the
unfortunate Samson was cured. Tom Cecial left him and went home, while he
stayed behind meditating vengeance; and the history will return to him again at
the proper time, so as not to omit making merry with Don Quixote now.
  Chapter XVI
Of what befell Don Quixote with a discreet gentleman
of La Mancha
Don Quixote pursued his journey in the high spirits, satisfaction,
and self-complacency already described, fancying himself the most valorous
knight-errant of the age in the world because of his late victory. All the
adventures that could befall him from that time forth he regarded as already
done and brought to a happy issue; he made light of enchantments and
enchanters; he thought no more of the countless drubbings that had been
administered to him in the course of his knight-errantry, nor of the volley of
stones that had levelled half his teeth, nor of the ingratitude of the galley
slaves, nor of the audacity of the Yanguesans and the shower of stakes that
fell upon him; in short, he said to himself that could he discover any means,
mode, or way of disenchanting his lady Dulcinea, he would not envy the highest
fortune that the most fortunate knight-errant of yore ever reached or could
reach.
He was going along entirely absorbed in these fancies, when Sancho
said to him, "Isn't it odd, senor, that I have still before my eyes that
monstrous enormous nose of my gossip, Tom Cecial?"
"And dost thou, then, believe, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that
the Knight of the Mirrors was the bachelor Carrasco, and his squire Tom Cecial
thy gossip?"
"I don't know what to say to that," replied Sancho; "all I know is
that the tokens he gave me about my own house, wife and children, nobody else
but himself could have given me; and the face, once the nose was off, was the
very face of Tom Cecial, as I have seen it many a time in my town and next door
to my own house; and the sound of the voice was just the same."
"Let us reason the matter, Sancho," said Don Quixote. "Come now,
by what process of thinking can it be supposed that the bachelor Samson
Carrasco would come as a knight-errant, in arms offensive and defensive, to
fight with me? Have I ever been by any chance his enemy? Have I ever given him
any occasion to owe me a grudge? Am I his rival, or does he profess arms, that
he should envy the fame I have acquired in them?"
"Well, but what are we to say, senor," returned Sancho, "about
that knight, whoever he is, being so like the bachelor Carrasco, and his squire
so like my gossip, Tom Cecial? And if that be enchantment, as your worship
says, was there no other pair in the world for them to take the likeness of?"
"It is all," said Don Quixote, "a scheme and plot of the malignant
magicians that persecute me, who, foreseeing that I was to be victorious in the
conflict, arranged that the vanquished knight should display the countenance of
my friend the bachelor, in order that the friendship I bear him should
interpose to stay the edge of my sword and might of my arm, and temper the just
wrath of my heart; so that he who sought to take my life by fraud and falsehood
should save his own. And to prove it, thou knowest already, Sancho, by
experience which cannot lie or deceive, how easy it is for enchanters to change
one countenance into another, turning fair into foul, and foul into fair; for
it is not two days since thou sawest with thine own eyes the beauty and
elegance of the peerless Dulcinea in all its perfection and natural harmony,
while I saw her in the repulsive and mean form of a coarse country wench, with
cataracts in her eyes and a foul smell in her mouth; and when the perverse
enchanter ventured to effect so wicked a transformation, it is no wonder if he
effected that of Samson Carrasco and thy gossip in order to snatch the glory of
victory out of my grasp. For all that, however, I console myself, because,
after all, in whatever shape he may have been, I have victorious over my
enemy."
"God knows what's the truth of it all," said Sancho; and knowing
as he did that the transformation of Dulcinea had been a device and imposition
of his own, his master's illusions were not satisfactory to him; but he did not
like to reply lest he should say something that might disclose his trickery.
As they were engaged in this conversation they were overtaken by a
man who was following the same road behind them, mounted on a very handsome
flea-bitten mare, and dressed in a gaban of fine green cloth, with tawny velvet
facings, and a montera of the same velvet. The trappings of the mare were of
the field and jineta fashion, and of mulberry colour and green. He carried a
Moorish cutlass hanging from a broad green and gold baldric; the buskins were
of the same make as the baldric; the spurs were not gilt, but lacquered green,
and so brightly polished that, matching as they did the rest of his apparel,
they looked better than if they had been of pure gold.
When the traveller came up with them he saluted them courteously,
and spurring his mare was passing them without stopping, but Don Quixote called
out to him, "Gallant sir, if so be your worship is going our road, and has no
occasion for speed, it would be a pleasure to me if we were to join company."
"In truth," replied he on the mare, "I would not pass you so
hastily but for fear that horse might turn restive in the company of my mare."
"You may safely hold in your mare, senor," said Sancho in reply to
this, "for our horse is the most virtuous and well-behaved horse in the world;
he never does anything wrong on such occasions, and the only time he
misbehaved, my master and I suffered for it sevenfold; I say again your worship
may pull up if you like; for if she was offered to him between two plates the
horse would not hanker after her."
The traveller drew rein, amazed at the trim and features of Don
Quixote, who rode without his helmet, which Sancho carried like a valise in
front of Dapple's pack-saddle; and if the man in green examined Don Quixote
closely, still more closely did Don Quixote examine the man in green, who
struck him as being a man of intelligence. In appearance he was about fifty
years of age, with but few grey hairs, an aquiline cast of features, and an
expression between grave and gay; and his dress and accoutrements showed him to
be a man of good condition. What he in green thought of Don Quixote of La
Mancha was that a man of that sort and shape he had never yet seen; he
marvelled at the length of his hair, his lofty stature, the lankness and
sallowness of his countenance, his armour, his bearing and his gravity- a
figure and picture such as had not been seen in those regions for many a long
day.
Don Quixote saw very plainly the attention with which the
traveller was regarding him, and read his curiosity in his astonishment; and
courteous as he was and ready to please everybody, before the other could ask
him any question he anticipated him by saying, "The appearance I present to
your worship being so strange and so out of the common, I should not be
surprised if it filled you with wonder; but you will cease to wonder when I
tell you, as I do, that I am one of those knights who, as people say, go
seeking adventures. I have left my home, I have mortgaged my estate, I have
given up my comforts, and committed myself to the arms of Fortune, to bear me
whithersoever she may please. My desire was to bring to life again
knight-errantry, now dead, and for some time past, stumbling here, falling
there, now coming down headlong, now raising myself up again, I have carried
out a great portion of my design, succouring widows, protecting maidens, and
giving aid to wives, orphans, and minors, the proper and natural duty of
knights-errant; and, therefore, because of my many valiant and Christian
achievements, I have been already found worthy to make my way in print to
well-nigh all, or most, of the nations of the earth. Thirty thousand volumes of
my history have been printed, and it is on the high-road to be printed thirty
thousand thousands of times, if heaven does not put a stop to it. In short, to
sum up all in a few words, or in a single one, I may tell you I am Don Quixote
of La Mancha, otherwise called 'The Knight of the Rueful Countenance;' for
though self-praise is degrading, I must perforce sound my own sometimes, that
is to say, when there is no one at hand to do it for me. So that, gentle sir,
neither this horse, nor this lance, nor this shield, nor this squire, nor all
these arms put together, nor the sallowness of my countenance, nor my gaunt
leanness, will henceforth astonish you, now that you know who I am and what
profession I follow."
With these words Don Quixote held his peace, and, from the time he
took to answer, the man in green seemed to be at a loss for a reply; after a
long pause, however, he said to him, "You were right when you saw curiosity in
my amazement, sir knight; but you have not succeeded in removing the
astonishment I feel at seeing you; for although you say, senor, that knowing
who you are ought to remove it, it has not done so; on the contrary, now that I
know, I am left more amazed and astonished than before. What! is it possible
that there are knights-errant in the world in these days, and histories of real
chivalry printed? I cannot realise the fact that there can be anyone on earth
now-a-days who aids widows, or protects maidens, or defends wives, or succours
orphans; nor should I believe it had I not seen it in your worship with my own
eyes. Blessed be heaven! for by means of this history of your noble and genuine
chivalrous deeds, which you say has been printed, the countless stories of
fictitious knights-errant with which the world is filled, so much to the injury
of morality and the prejudice and discredit of good histories, will have been
driven into oblivion."
"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote,
"as to whether the histories of the knights-errant are fiction or not."
"Why, is there anyone who doubts that those histories are false?"
said the man in green.
"I doubt it," said Don Quixote, "but never mind that just now; if
our journey lasts long enough, I trust in God I shall show your worship that
you do wrong in going with the stream of those who regard it as a matter of
certainty that they are not true."
From this last observation of Don Quixote's, the traveller began
to have a suspicion that he was some crazy being, and was waiting him to
confirm it by something further; but before they could turn to any new subject
Don Quixote begged him to tell him who he was, since he himself had rendered
account of his station and life. To this, he in the green gaban replied "I, Sir
Knight of the Rueful Countenance, am a gentleman by birth, native of the
village where, please God, we are going to dine today; I am more than fairly
well off, and my name is Don Diego de Miranda. I pass my life with my wife,
children, and friends; my pursuits are hunting and fishing, but I keep neither
hawks nor greyhounds, nothing but a tame partridge or a bold ferret or two; I
have six dozen or so of books, some in our mother tongue, some Latin, some of
them history, others devotional; those of chivalry have not as yet crossed the
threshold of my door; I am more given to turning over the profane than the
devotional, so long as they are books of honest entertainment that charm by
their style and attract and interest by the invention they display, though of
these there are very few in Spain. Sometimes I dine with my neighbours and
friends, and often invite them; my entertainments are neat and well served
without stint of anything. I have no taste for tattle, nor do I allow tattling
in my presence; I pry not into my neighbours' lives, nor have I lynx-eyes for
what others do. I hear mass every day; I share my substance with the poor,
making no display of good works, lest I let hypocrisy and vainglory, those
enemies that subtly take possession of the most watchful heart, find an
entrance into mine. I strive to make peace between those whom I know to be at
variance; I am the devoted servant of Our Lady, and my trust is ever in the
infinite mercy of God our Lord."
Sancho listened with the greatest attention to the account of the
gentleman's life and occupation; and thinking it a good and a holy life, and
that he who led it ought to work miracles, he threw himself off Dapple, and
running in haste seized his right stirrup and kissed his foot again and again
with a devout heart and almost with tears.
Seeing this the gentleman asked him, "What are you about, brother?
What are these kisses for?"
"Let me kiss," said Sancho, "for I think your worship is the first
saint in the saddle I ever saw all the days of my life."
"I am no saint," replied the gentleman, "but a great sinner; but
you are, brother, for you must be a good fellow, as your simplicity shows."
Sancho went back and regained his pack-saddle, having extracted a
laugh from his master's profound melancholy, and excited fresh amazement in Don
Diego. Don Quixote then asked him how many children he had, and observed that
one of the things wherein the ancient philosophers, who were without the true
knowledge of God, placed the summum bonum was in the gifts of nature, in those
of fortune, in having many friends, and many and good children.
"I, Senor Don Quixote," answered the gentleman, "have one son,
without whom, perhaps, I should count myself happier than I am, not because he
is a bad son, but because he is not so good as I could wish. He is eighteen
years of age; he has been for six at Salamanca studying Latin and Greek, and
when I wished him to turn to the study of other sciences I found him so wrapped
up in that of poetry (if that can be called a science) that there is no getting
him to take kindly to the law, which I wished him to study, or to theology, the
queen of them all. I would like him to be an honour to his family, as we live
in days when our kings liberally reward learning that is virtuous and worthy;
for learning without virtue is a pearl on a dunghill. He spends the whole day
in settling whether Homer expressed himself correctly or not in such and such a
line of the Iliad, whether Martial was indecent or not in such and such an
epigram, whether such and such lines of Virgil are to be understood in this way
or in that; in short, all his talk is of the works of these poets, and those of
Horace, Perseus, Juvenal, and Tibullus; for of the moderns in our own language
he makes no great account; but with all his seeming indifference to Spanish
poetry, just now his thoughts are absorbed in making a gloss on four lines that
have been sent him from Salamanca, which I suspect are for some poetical
tournament."
To all this Don Quixote said in reply, "Children, senor, are
portions of their parents' bowels, and therefore, be they good or bad, are to
be loved as we love the souls that give us life; it is for the parents to guide
them from infancy in the ways of virtue, propriety, and worthy Christian
conduct, so that when grown up they may be the staff of their parents' old age,
and the glory of their posterity; and to force them to study this or that
science I do not think wise, though it may be no harm to persuade them; and
when there is no need to study for the sake of pane lucrando, and it is the
student's good fortune that heaven has given him parents who provide him with
it, it would be my advice to them to let him pursue whatever science they may
see him most inclined to; and though that of poetry is less useful than
pleasurable, it is not one of those that bring discredit upon the possessor.
Poetry, gentle sir, is, as I take it, like a tender young maiden of supreme
beauty, to array, bedeck, and adorn whom is the task of several other maidens,
who are all the rest of the sciences; and she must avail herself of the help of
all, and all derive their lustre from her. But this maiden will not bear to be
handled, nor dragged through the streets, nor exposed either at the corners of
the market-places, or in the closets of palaces. She is the product of an
Alchemy of such virtue that he who is able to practise it, will turn her into
pure gold of inestimable worth. He that possesses her must keep her within
bounds, not permitting her to break out in ribald satires or soulless sonnets.
She must on no account be offered for sale, unless, indeed, it be in heroic
poems, moving tragedies, or sprightly and ingenious comedies. She must not be
touched by the buffoons, nor by the ignorant vulgar, incapable of comprehending
or appreciating her hidden treasures. And do not suppose, senor, that I apply
the term vulgar here merely to plebeians and the lower orders; for everyone who
is ignorant, be he lord or prince, may and should be included among the vulgar.
He, then, who shall embrace and cultivate poetry under the conditions I have
named, shall become famous, and his name honoured throughout all the civilised
nations of the earth. And with regard to what you say, senor, of your son
having no great opinion of Spanish poetry, I am inclined to think that he is
not quite right there, and for this reason: the great poet Homer did not write
in Latin, because he was a Greek, nor did Virgil write in Greek, because he was
a Latin; in short, all the ancient poets wrote in the language they imbibed
with their mother's milk, and never went in quest of foreign ones to express
their sublime conceptions; and that being so, the usage should in justice
extend to all nations, and the German poet should not be undervalued because he
writes in his own language, nor the Castilian, nor even the Biscayan, for
writing in his. But your son, senor, I suspect, is not prejudiced against
Spanish poetry, but against those poets who are mere Spanish verse writers,
without any knowledge of other languages or sciences to adorn and give life and
vigour to their natural inspiration; and yet even in this he may be wrong; for,
according to a true belief, a poet is born one; that is to say, the poet by
nature comes forth a poet from his mother's womb; and following the bent that
heaven has bestowed upon him, without the aid of study or art, he produces
things that show how truly he spoke who said, 'Est Deus in nobis,' &c. At
the same time, I say that the poet by nature who calls in art to his aid will
be a far better poet, and will surpass him who tries to be one relying upon his
knowledge of art alone. The reason is, that art does not surpass nature, but
only brings it to perfection; and thus, nature combined with art, and art with
nature, will produce a perfect poet. To bring my argument to a close, I would
say then, gentle sir, let your son go on as his star leads him, for being so
studious as he seems to be, and having already successfully surmounted the
first step of the sciences, which is that of the languages, with their help he
will by his own exertions reach the summit of polite literature, which so well
becomes an independent gentleman, and adorns, honours, and distinguishes him,
as much as the mitre does the bishop, or the gown the learned counsellor. If
your son write satires reflecting on the honour of others, chide and correct
him, and tear them up; but if he compose discourses in which he rebukes vice in
general, in the style of Horace, and with elegance like his, commend him; for
it is legitimate for a poet to write against envy and lash the envious in his
verse, and the other vices too, provided he does not single out individuals;
there are, however, poets who, for the sake of saying something spiteful, would
run the risk of being banished to the coast of Pontus. If the poet be pure in
his morals, he will be pure in his verses too; the pen is the tongue of the
mind, and as the thought engendered there, so will be the things that it writes
down. And when kings and princes observe this marvellous science of poetry in
wise, virtuous, and thoughtful subjects, they honour, value, exalt them, and
even crown them with the leaves of that tree which the thunderbolt strikes not,
as if to show that they whose brows are honoured and adorned with such a crown
are not to be assailed by anyone."
He of the green gaban was filled with astonishment at Don
Quixote's argument, so much so that he began to abandon the notion he had taken
up about his being crazy. But in the middle of the discourse, it being not very
much to his taste, Sancho had turned aside out of the road to beg a little milk
from some shepherds, who were milking their ewes hard by; and just as the
gentleman, highly pleased, was about to renew the conversation, Don Quixote,
raising his head, perceived a cart covered with royal flags coming along the
road they were travelling; and persuaded that this must be some new adventure,
he called aloud to Sancho to come and bring him his helmet. Sancho, hearing
himself called, quitted the shepherds, and, prodding Dapple vigorously, came up
to his master, to whom there fell a terrific and desperate adventure.
  Chapter XVII
Wherein is shown the furthest and highest point
which the unexampled courage of Don Quixote reached or could reach; together
with the happily achieved adventure of the lions
The history tells that when Don Quixote called out to Sancho to
bring him his helmet, Sancho was buying some curds the shepherds agreed to sell
him, and flurried by the great haste his master was in did not know what to do
with them or what to carry them in; so, not to lose them, for he had already
paid for them, he thought it best to throw them into his master's helmet, and
acting on this bright idea he went to see what his master wanted with him. He,
as he approached, exclaimed to him:
"Give me that helmet, my friend, for either I know little of
adventures, or what I observe yonder is one that will, and does, call upon me
to arm myself."
He of the green gaban, on hearing this, looked in all directions,
but could perceive nothing, except a cart coming towards them with two or three
small flags, which led him to conclude it must be carrying treasure of the
King's, and he said so to Don Quixote. He, however, would not believe him,
being always persuaded and convinced that all that happened to him must be
adventures and still more adventures; so he replied to the gentleman, "He who
is prepared has his battle half fought; nothing is lost by my preparing myself,
for I know by experience that I have enemies, visible and invisible, and I know
not when, or where, or at what moment, or in what shapes they will attack me;"
and turning to Sancho he called for his helmet; and Sancho, as he had no time
to take out the curds, had to give it just as it was. Don Quixote took it, and
without perceiving what was in it thrust it down in hot haste upon his head;
but as the curds were pressed and squeezed the whey began to run all over his
face and beard, whereat he was so startled that he cried out to Sancho:
"Sancho, what's this? I think my head is softening, or my brains
are melting, or I am sweating from head to foot! If I am sweating it is not
indeed from fear. I am convinced beyond a doubt that the adventure which is
about to befall me is a terrible one. Give me something to wipe myself with, if
thou hast it, for this profuse sweat is blinding me."
Sancho held his tongue, and gave him a cloth, and gave thanks to
God at the same time that his master had not found out what was the matter. Don
Quixote then wiped himself, and took off his helmet to see what it was that
made his head feel so cool, and seeing all that white mash inside his helmet he
put it to his nose, and as soon as he had smelt it he exclaimed:
"By the life of my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, but it is curds thou
hast put here, thou treacherous, impudent, ill-mannered squire!"
To which, with great composure and pretended innocence, Sancho
replied, "If they are curds let me have them, your worship, and I'll eat them;
but let the devil eat them, for it must have been he who put them there. I dare
to dirty your helmet! You have guessed the offender finely! Faith, sir, by the
light God gives me, it seems I must have enchanters too, that persecute me as a
creature and limb of your worship, and they must have put that nastiness there
in order to provoke your patience to anger, and make you baste my ribs as you
are wont to do. Well, this time, indeed, they have missed their aim, for I
trust to my master's good sense to see that I have got no curds or milk, or
anything of the sort; and that if I had it is in my stomach I would put it and
not in the helmet."
"May he so," said Don Quixote. All this the gentleman was
observing, and with astonishment, more especially when, after having wiped
himself clean, his head, face, beard, and helmet, Don Quixote put it on, and
settling himself firmly in his stirrups, easing his sword in the scabbard, and
grasping his lance, he cried, "Now, come who will, here am I, ready to try
conclusions with Satan himself in person!"
By this time the cart with the flags had come up, unattended by
anyone except the carter on a mule, and a man sitting in front. Don Quixote
planted himself before it and said, "Whither are you going, brothers? What cart
is this? What have you got in it? What flags are those?"
To this the carter replied, "The cart is mine; what is in it is a
pair of wild caged lions, which the governor of Oran is sending to court as a
present to his Majesty; and the flags are our lord the King's, to show that
what is here is his property."
"And are the lions large?" asked Don Quixote.
"So large," replied the man who sat at the door of the cart, "that
larger, or as large, have never crossed from Africa to Spain; I am the keeper,
and I have brought over others, but never any like these. They are male and
female; the male is in that first cage and the female in the one behind, and
they are hungry now, for they have eaten nothing to-day, so let your worship
stand aside, for we must make haste to the place where we are to feed them."
Hereupon, smiling slightly, Don Quixote exclaimed, "Lion-whelps to
me! to me whelps of lions, and at such a time! Then, by God! those gentlemen
who send them here shall see if I am a man to be frightened by lions. Get down,
my good fellow, and as you are the keeper open the cages, and turn me out those
beasts, and in the midst of this plain I will let them know who Don Quixote of
La Mancha is, in spite and in the teeth of the enchanters who send them to me."
"So, so," said the gentleman to himself at this; "our worthy
knight has shown of what sort he is; the curds, no doubt, have softened his
skull and brought his brains to a head."
At this instant Sancho came up to him, saying, "Senor, for God's
sake do something to keep my master, Don Quixote, from tackling these lions;
for if he does they'll tear us all to pieces here."
"Is your master then so mad," asked the gentleman, "that you
believe and are afraid he will engage such fierce animals?"
"He is not mad," said Sancho, "but he is venturesome."
"I will prevent it," said the gentleman; and going over to Don
Quixote, who was insisting upon the keeper's opening the cages, he said to him,
"Sir knight, knights-errant should attempt adventures which encourage the hope
of a successful issue, not those which entirely withhold it; for valour that
trenches upon temerity savours rather of madness than of courage; moreover,
these lions do not come to oppose you, nor do they dream of such a thing; they
are going as presents to his Majesty, and it will not be right to stop them or
delay their journey."
"Gentle sir," replied Don Quixote, "you go and mind your tame
partridge and your bold ferret, and leave everyone to manage his own business;
this is mine, and I know whether these gentlemen the lions come to me or not;"
and then turning to the keeper he exclaimed, "By all that's good, sir
scoundrel, if you don't open the cages this very instant, I'll pin you to the
cart with this lance."
The carter, seeing the determination of this apparition in armour,
said to him, "Please your worship, for charity's sake, senor, let me unyoke the
mules and place myself in safety along with them before the lions are turned
out; for if they kill them on me I am ruined for life, for all I possess is
this cart and mules."
"O man of little faith," replied Don Quixote, "get down and
unyoke; you will soon see that you are exerting yourself for nothing, and that
you might have spared yourself the trouble."
The carter got down and with all speed unyoked the mules, and the
keeper called out at the top of his voice, "I call all here to witness that
against my will and under compulsion I open the cages and let the lions loose,
and that I warn this gentleman that he will be accountable for all the harm and
mischief which these beasts may do, and for my salary and dues as well. You,
gentlemen, place yourselves in safety before I open, for I know they will do me
no harm."
Once more the gentleman strove to persuade Don Quixote not to do
such a mad thing, as it was tempting God to engage in such a piece of folly. To
this, Don Quixote replied that he knew what he was about. The gentleman in
return entreated him to reflect, for he knew he was under a delusion.
"Well, senor," answered Don Quixote, "if you do not like to be a
spectator of this tragedy, as in your opinion it will be, spur your flea-bitten
mare, and place yourself in safety."
Hearing this, Sancho with tears in his eyes entreated him to give
up an enterprise compared with which the one of the windmills, and the awful
one of the fulling mills, and, in fact, all the feats he had attempted in the
whole course of his life, were cakes and fancy bread. "Look ye, senor," said
Sancho, "there's no enchantment here, nor anything of the sort, for between the
bars and chinks of the cage I have seen the paw of a real lion, and judging by
that I reckon the lion such a paw could belong to must be bigger than a
mountain."
"Fear at any rate," replied Don Quixote, "will make him look
bigger to thee than half the world. Retire, Sancho, and leave me; and if I die
here thou knowest our old compact; thou wilt repair to Dulcinea- I say no
more." To these he added some further words that banished all hope of his
giving up his insane project. He of the green gaban would have offered
resistance, but he found himself ill-matched as to arms, and did not think it
prudent to come to blows with a madman, for such Don Quixote now showed himself
to be in every respect; and the latter, renewing his commands to the keeper and
repeating his threats, gave warning to the gentleman to spur his mare, Sancho
his Dapple, and the carter his mules, all striving to get away from the cart as
far as they could before the lions broke loose. Sancho was weeping over his
master's death, for this time he firmly believed it was in store for him from
the claws of the lions; and he cursed his fate and called it an unlucky hour
when he thought of taking service with him again; but with all his tears and
lamentations he did not forget to thrash Dapple so as to put a good space
between himself and the cart. The keeper, seeing that the fugitives were now
some distance off, once more entreated and warned him as before; but he replied
that he heard him, and that he need not trouble himself with any further
warnings or entreaties, as they would be fruitless, and bade him make haste.
During the delay that occurred while the keeper was opening the
first cage, Don Quixote was considering whether it would not be well to do
battle on foot, instead of on horseback, and finally resolved to fight on foot,
fearing that Rocinante might take fright at the sight of the lions; he
therefore sprang off his horse, flung his lance aside, braced his buckler on
his arm, and drawing his sword, advanced slowly with marvellous intrepidity and
resolute courage, to plant himself in front of the cart, commending himself
with all his heart to God and to his lady Dulcinea.
It is to be observed, that on coming to this passage, the author
of this veracious history breaks out into exclamations. "O doughty Don Quixote!
high-mettled past extolling! Mirror, wherein all the heroes of the world may
see themselves! Second modern Don Manuel de Leon, once the glory and honour of
Spanish knighthood! In what words shall I describe this dread exploit, by what
language shall I make it credible to ages to come, what eulogies are there
unmeet for thee, though they be hyperboles piled on hyperboles! On foot, alone,
undaunted, high-souled, with but a simple sword, and that no trenchant blade of
the Perrillo brand, a shield, but no bright polished steel one, there stoodst
thou, biding and awaiting the two fiercest lions that Africa's forests ever
bred! Thy own deeds be thy praise, valiant Manchegan, and here I leave them as
they stand, wanting the words wherewith to glorify them!"
Here the author's outburst came to an end, and he proceeded to
take up the thread of his story, saying that the keeper, seeing that Don
Quixote had taken up his position, and that it was impossible for him to avoid
letting out the male without incurring the enmity of the fiery and daring
knight, flung open the doors of the first cage, containing, as has been said,
the lion, which was now seen to be of enormous size, and grim and hideous mien.
The first thing he did was to turn round in the cage in which he lay, and
protrude his claws, and stretch himself thoroughly; he next opened his mouth,
and yawned very leisurely, and with near two palms' length of tongue that he
had thrust forth, he licked the dust out of his eyes and washed his face;
having done this, he put his head out of the cage and looked all round with
eyes like glowing coals, a spectacle and demeanour to strike terror into
temerity itself. Don Quixote merely observed him steadily, longing for him to
leap from the cart and come to close quarters with him, when he hoped to hew
him in pieces.
So far did his unparalleled madness go; but the noble lion, more
courteous than arrogant, not troubling himself about silly bravado, after
having looked all round, as has been said, turned about and presented his
hind-quarters to Don Quixote, and very coolly and tranquilly lay down again in
the cage. Seeing this, Don Quixote ordered the keeper to take a stick to him
and provoke him to make him come out.
"That I won't," said the keeper; "for if I anger him, the first
he'll tear in pieces will be myself. Be satisfied, sir knight, with what you
have done, which leaves nothing more to be said on the score of courage, and do
not seek to tempt fortune a second time. The lion has the door open; he is free
to come out or not to come out; but as he has not come out so far, he will not
come out to-day. Your worship's great courage has been fully manifested
already; no brave champion, so it strikes me, is bound to do more than
challenge his enemy and wait for him on the field; if his adversary does not
come, on him lies the disgrace, and he who waits for him carries off the crown
of victory."
"That is true," said Don Quixote; "close the door, my friend, and
let me have, in the best form thou canst, what thou hast seen me do, by way of
certificate; to wit, that thou didst open for the lion, that I waited for him,
that he did not come out, that I still waited for him, and that still he did
not come out, and lay down again. I am not bound to do more; enchantments
avaunt, and God uphold the right, the truth, and true chivalry! Close the door
as I bade thee, while I make signals to the fugitives that have left us, that
they may learn this exploit from thy lips."
The keeper obeyed, and Don Quixote, fixing on the point of his
lance the cloth he had wiped his face with after the deluge of curds, proceeded
to recall the others, who still continued to fly, looking back at every step,
all in a body, the gentleman bringing up the rear. Sancho, however, happening
to observe the signal of the white cloth, exclaimed, "May I die, if my master
has not overcome the wild beasts, for he is calling to us."
They all stopped, and perceived that it was Don Quixote who was
making signals, and shaking off their fears to some extent, they approached
slowly until they were near enough to hear distinctly Don Quixote's voice
calling to them. They returned at length to the cart, and as they came up, Don
Quixote said to the carter, "Put your mules to once more, brother, and continue
your journey; and do thou, Sancho, give him two gold crowns for himself and the
keeper, to compensate for the delay they have incurred through me."
"That will I give with all my heart," said Sancho; "but what has
become of the lions? Are they dead or alive?"
The keeper, then, in full detail, and bit by bit, described the
end of the contest, exalting to the best of his power and ability the valour of
Don Quixote, at the sight of whom the lion quailed, and would not and dared not
come out of the cage, although he had held the door open ever so long; and
showing how, in consequence of his having represented to the knight that it was
tempting God to provoke the lion in order to force him out, which he wished to
have done, he very reluctantly, and altogether against his will, had allowed
the door to be closed.
"What dost thou think of this, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. "Are
there any enchantments that can prevail against true valour? The enchanters may
be able to rob me of good fortune, but of fortitude and courage they cannot."
Sancho paid the crowns, the carter put to, the keeper kissed Don
Quixote's hands for the bounty bestowed upon him, and promised to give an
account of the valiant exploit to the King himself, as soon as he saw him at
court.
"Then," said Don Quixote, "if his Majesty should happen to ask who
performed it, you must say THE KNIGHT OF THE LIONS; for it is my desire that
into this the name I have hitherto borne of Knight of the Rueful Countenance be
from this time forward changed, altered, transformed, and turned; and in this I
follow the ancient usage of knights-errant, who changed their names when they
pleased, or when it suited their purpose."
The cart went its way, and Don Quixote, Sancho, and he of the
green gaban went theirs. All this time, Don Diego de Miranda had not spoken a
word, being entirely taken up with observing and noting all that Don Quixote
did and said, and the opinion he formed was that he was a man of brains gone
mad, and a madman on the verge of rationality. The first part of his history
had not yet reached him, for, had he read it, the amazement with which his
words and deeds filled him would have vanished, as he would then have
understood the nature of his madness; but knowing nothing of it, he took him to
be rational one moment, and crazy the next, for what he said was sensible,
elegant, and well expressed, and what he did, absurd, rash, and foolish; and
said he to himself, "What could be madder than putting on a helmet full of
curds, and then persuading oneself that enchanters are softening one's skull;
or what could be greater rashness and folly than wanting to fight lions tooth
and nail?"
Don Quixote roused him from these reflections and this soliloquy
by saying, "No doubt, Senor Don Diego de Miranda, you set me down in your mind
as a fool and a madman, and it would be no wonder if you did, for my deeds do
not argue anything else. But for all that, I would have you take notice that I
am neither so mad nor so foolish as I must have seemed to you. A gallant knight
shows to advantage bringing his lance to bear adroitly upon a fierce bull under
the eyes of his sovereign, in the midst of a spacious plaza; a knight shows to
advantage arrayed in glittering armour, pacing the lists before the ladies in
some joyous tournament, and all those knights show to advantage that entertain,
divert, and, if we may say so, honour the courts of their princes by warlike
exercises, or what resemble them; but to greater advantage than all these does
a knight-errant show when he traverses deserts, solitudes, cross-roads,
forests, and mountains, in quest of perilous adventures, bent on bringing them
to a happy and successful issue, all to win a glorious and lasting renown. To
greater advantage, I maintain, does the knight-errant show bringing aid to some
widow in some lonely waste, than the court knight dallying with some city
damsel. All knights have their own special parts to play; let the courtier
devote himself to the ladies, let him add lustre to his sovereign's court by
his liveries, let him entertain poor gentlemen with the sumptuous fare of his
table, let him arrange joustings, marshal tournaments, and prove himself noble,
generous, and magnificent, and above all a good Christian, and so doing he will
fulfil the duties that are especially his; but let the knight-errant explore
the corners of the earth and penetrate the most intricate labyrinths, at each
step let him attempt impossibilities, on desolate heaths let him endure the
burning rays of the midsummer sun, and the bitter inclemency of the winter
winds and frosts; let no lions daunt him, no monsters terrify him, no dragons
make him quail; for to seek these, to attack those, and to vanquish all, are in
truth his main duties. I, then, as it has fallen to my lot to be a member of
knight-errantry, cannot avoid attempting all that to me seems to come within
the sphere of my duties; thus it was my bounden duty to attack those lions that
I just now attacked, although I knew it to be the height of rashness; for I
know well what valour is, that it is a virtue that occupies a place between two
vicious extremes, cowardice and temerity; but it will be a lesser evil for him
who is valiant to rise till he reaches the point of rashness, than to sink
until he reaches the point of cowardice; for, as it is easier for the prodigal
than for the miser to become generous, so it is easier for a rash man to prove
truly valiant than for a coward to rise to true valour; and believe me, Senor
Don Diego, in attempting adventures it is better to lose by a card too many
than by a card too few; for to hear it said, 'such a knight is rash and
daring,' sounds better than 'such a knight is timid and cowardly.'"
"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said Don Diego, "everything you
have said and done is proved correct by the test of reason itself; and I
believe, if the laws and ordinances of knight-errantry should be lost, they
might be found in your worship's breast as in their own proper depository and
muniment-house; but let us make haste, and reach my village, where you shall
take rest after your late exertions; for if they have not been of the body they
have been of the spirit, and these sometimes tend to produce bodily fatigue."
"I take the invitation as a great favour and honour, Senor Don
Diego," replied Don Quixote; and pressing forward at a better pace than before,
at about two in the afternoon they reached the village and house of Don Diego,
or, as Don Quixote called him, "The Knight of the Green Gaban."
  Chapter XVIII
Of what happened Don Quixote in the castle or house
of the Knight of the Green Gaban, together with other matters out of the
common
Don Quixote found Don Diego de Miranda's house built in village
style, with his arms in rough stone over the street door; in the patio was the
store-room, and at the entrance the cellar, with plenty of wine-jars standing
round, which, coming from El Toboso, brought back to his memory his enchanted
and transformed Dulcinea; and with a sigh, and not thinking of what he was
saying, or in whose presence he was, he exclaimed-
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"O ye sweet treasures, to my sorrow found! |
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Once sweet and welcome when 'twas heaven's good-will. |
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O ye Tobosan jars, how ye bring back to my
memory the sweet object of my bitter regrets!"
The student poet, Don Diego's son, who had come out with his
mother to receive him, heard this exclamation, and both mother and son were
filled with amazement at the extraordinary figure he presented; he, however,
dismounting from Rocinante, advanced with great politeness to ask permission to
kiss the lady's hand, while Don Diego said, "Senora, pray receive with your
wonted kindness Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, whom you see before you, a
knight-errant, and the bravest and wisest in the world."
The lady, whose name was Dona Christina, received him with every
sign of good-will and great courtesy, and Don Quixote placed himself at her
service with an abundance of well-chosen and polished phrases. Almost the same
civilities were exchanged between him and the student, who listening to Don
Quixote, took him to be a sensible, clear-headed person.
Here the author describes minutely everything belonging to Don
Diego's mansion, putting before us in his picture the whole contents of a rich
gentleman-farmer's house; but the translator of the history thought it best to
pass over these and other details of the same sort in silence, as they are not
in harmony with the main purpose of the story, the strong point of which is
truth rather than dull digressions.
They led Don Quixote into a room, and Sancho removed his armour,
leaving him in loose Walloon breeches and chamois-leather doublet, all stained
with the rust of his armour; his collar was a falling one of scholastic cut,
without starch or lace, his buskins buff-coloured, and his shoes polished. He
wore his good sword, which hung in a baldric of sea-wolf's skin, for he had
suffered for many years, they say, from an ailment of the kidneys; and over all
he threw a long cloak of good grey cloth. But first of all, with five or six
buckets of water (for as regard the number of buckets there is some dispute),
he washed his head and face, and still the water remained whey-coloured, thanks
to Sancho's greediness and purchase of those unlucky curds that turned his
master so white. Thus arrayed, and with an easy, sprightly, and gallant air,
Don Quixote passed out into another room, where the student was waiting to
entertain him while the table was being laid; for on the arrival of so
distinguished a guest, Dona Christina was anxious to show that she knew how and
was able to give a becoming reception to those who came to her house.
While Don Quixote was taking off his armour, Don Lorenzo (for so
Don Diego's son was called) took the opportunity to say to his father, "What
are we to make of this gentleman you have brought home to us, sir? For his
name, his appearance, and your describing him as a knight-errant have
completely puzzled my mother and me."
"I don't know what to say, my son," replied. Don Diego; "all I can
tell thee is that I have seen him act the acts of the greatest madman in the
world, and heard him make observations so sensible that they efface and undo
all he does; do thou talk to him and feel the pulse of his wits, and as thou
art shrewd, form the most reasonable conclusion thou canst as to his wisdom or
folly; though, to tell the truth, I am more inclined to take him to be mad than
sane."
With this Don Lorenzo went away to entertain Don Quixote as has
been said, and in the course of the conversation that passed between them Don
Quixote said to Don Lorenzo, "Your father, Senor Don Diego de Miranda, has told
me of the rare abilities and subtle intellect you possess, and, above all, that
you are a great poet."
"A poet, it may be," replied Don Lorenzo, "but a great one, by no
means. It is true that I am somewhat given to poetry and to reading good poets,
but not so much so as to justify the title of 'great' which my father gives
me."
"I do not dislike that modesty," said Don Quixote; "for there is
no poet who is not conceited and does not think he is the best poet in the
world."
"There is no rule without an exception," said Don Lorenzo; "there
may be some who are poets and yet do not think they are."
"Very few," said Don Quixote; "but tell me, what verses are those
which you have now in hand, and which your father tells me keep you somewhat
restless and absorbed? If it be some gloss, I know something about glosses, and
I should like to hear them; and if they are for a poetical tournament, contrive
to carry off the second prize; for the first always goes by favour or personal
standing, the second by simple justice; and so the third comes to be the
second, and the first, reckoning in this way, will be third, in the same way as
licentiate degrees are conferred at the universities; but, for all that, the
title of first is a great distinction."
"So far," said Don Lorenzo to himself, "I should not take you to
be a madman; but let us go on." So he said to him, "Your worship has apparently
attended the schools; what sciences have you studied?"
"That of knight-errantry," said Don Quixote, "which is as good as
that of poetry, and even a finger or two above it."
"I do not know what science that is," said Don Lorenzo, "and until
now I have never heard of it."
"It is a science," said Don Quixote, "that comprehends in itself
all or most of the sciences in the world, for he who professes it must be a
jurist, and must know the rules of justice, distributive and equitable, so as
to give to each one what belongs to him and is due to him. He must be a
theologian, so as to be able to give a clear and distinctive reason for the
Christian faith he professes, wherever it may be asked of him. He must be a
physician, and above all a herbalist, so as in wastes and solitudes to know the
herbs that have the property of healing wounds, for a knight-errant must not go
looking for some one to cure him at every step. He must be an astronomer, so as
to know by the stars how many hours of the night have passed, and what clime
and quarter of the world he is in. He must know mathematics, for at every turn
some occasion for them will present itself to him; and, putting it aside that
he must be adorned with all the virtues, cardinal and theological, to come down
to minor particulars, he must, I say, be able to swim as well as Nicholas or
Nicolao the Fish could, as the story goes; he must know how to shoe a horse,
and repair his saddle and bridle; and, to return to higher matters, he must be
faithful to God and to his lady; he must be pure in thought, decorous in words,
generous in works, valiant in deeds, patient in suffering, compassionate
towards the needy, and, lastly, an upholder of the truth though its defence
should cost him his life. Of all these qualities, great and small, is a true
knight-errant made up; judge then, Senor Don Lorenzo, whether it be a
contemptible science which the knight who studies and professes it has to
learn, and whether it may not compare with the very loftiest that are taught in
the schools."
"If that be so," replied Don Lorenzo, "this science, I protest,
surpasses all."
"How, if that be so?" said Don Quixote.
"What I mean to say," said Don Lorenzo, "is, that I doubt whether
there are now, or ever were, any knights-errant, and adorned with such
virtues."
"Many a time," replied Don Quixote, "have I said what I now say
once more, that the majority of the world are of opinion that there never were
any knights-errant in it; and as it is my opinion that, unless heaven by some
miracle brings home to them the truth that there were and are, all the pains
one takes will be in vain (as experience has often proved to me), I will not
now stop to disabuse you of the error you share with the multitude. All I shall
do is to pray to heaven to deliver you from it, and show you how beneficial and
necessary knights-errant were in days of yore, and how useful they would be in
these days were they but in vogue; but now, for the sins of the people, sloth
and indolence, gluttony and luxury are triumphant."
"Our guest has broken out on our hands," said Don Lorenzo to
himself at this point; "but, for all that, he is a glorious madman, and I
should be a dull blockhead to doubt it."
Here, being summoned to dinner, they brought their colloquy to a
close. Don Diego asked his son what he had been able to make out as to the wits
of their guest. To which he replied, "All the doctors and clever scribes in the
world will not make sense of the scrawl of his madness; he is a madman full of
streaks, full of lucid intervals."
They went in to dinner, and the repast was such as Don Diego said
on the road he was in the habit of giving to his guests, neat, plentiful, and
tasty; but what pleased Don Quixote most was the marvellous silence that
reigned throughout the house, for it was like a Carthusian monastery.
When the cloth had been removed, grace said and their hands
washed, Don Quixote earnestly pressed Don Lorenzo to repeat to him his verses
for the poetical tournament, to which he replied, "Not to be like those poets
who, when they are asked to recite their verses, refuse, and when they are not
asked for them vomit them up, I will repeat my gloss, for which I do not expect
any prize, having composed it merely as an exercise of ingenuity."
"A discerning friend of mine," said Don Quixote, "was of opinion
that no one ought to waste labour in glossing verses; and the reason he gave
was that the gloss can never come up to the text, and that often or most
frequently it wanders away from the meaning and purpose aimed at in the glossed
lines; and besides, that the laws of the gloss were too strict, as they did not
allow interrogations, nor 'said he,' nor 'I say,' nor turning verbs into nouns,
or altering the construction, not to speak of other restrictions and
limitations that fetter gloss-writers, as you no doubt know."
"Verily, Senor Don Quixote," said Don Lorenzo, "I wish I could
catch your worship tripping at a stretch, but I cannot, for you slip through my
fingers like an eel."
"I don't understand what you say, or mean by slipping," said Don
Quixote.
"I will explain myself another time," said Don Lorenzo; "for the
present pray attend to the glossed verses and the gloss, which run thus:
|
Could 'was' become an 'is' for me, |
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Then would I ask no more than this; |
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Or could, for me, the time that is |
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Become the time that is to be!- |
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Gloss
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Dame Fortune once upon a day |
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To me was bountiful and kind; |
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But all things change; she changed her
mind,
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And what she gave she took away. |
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O Fortune, long I've sued to thee; |
5
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The gifts thou gavest me restore, |
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For, trust me, I would ask no more, |
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Could 'was' become an 'is' for me. |
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No other prize I seek to gain, |
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No triumph, glory, or success, |
10
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Only the long-lost happiness, |
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The memory whereof is pain. |
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One taste, methinks, of bygone bliss |
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The heart-consuming fire might stay; |
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And, so it come without delay, |
15
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Then would I ask no more than this. |
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I ask what cannot be, alas! |
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That time should ever be, and then |
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Come back to us, and be again, |
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No power on earth can bring to pass; |
20
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For fleet of foot is he, I wis, |
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And idly, therefore, do we pray |
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That what for aye hath left us may |
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Become for us the time that is. |
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Perplexed, uncertain, to remain |
25
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'Twixt hope and fear, is death, not life; |
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'Twere better, sure, to end the strife, |
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And dying, seek release from pain. |
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And yet, thought were the best for me. |
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Anon the thought aside I fling, |
30
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And to the present fondly cling, |
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And dread the time that is to be." |
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When Don Lorenzo had finished reciting his gloss, Don Quixote
stood up, and in a loud voice, almost a shout, exclaimed as he grasped Don
Lorenzo's right hand in his, "By the highest heavens, noble youth, but you are
the best poet on earth, and deserve to be crowned with laurel, not by Cyprus or
by Gaeta- as a certain poet, God forgive him, said- but by the Academies of
Athens, if they still flourished, and by those that flourish now, Paris,
Bologna, Salamanca. Heaven grant that the judges who rob you of the first
prize- that Phoebus may pierce them with his arrows, and the Muses never cross
the thresholds of their doors. Repeat me some of your long-measure verses,
senor, if you will be so good, for I want thoroughly to feel the pulse of your
rare genius."
Is there any need to say that Don Lorenzo enjoyed hearing himself
praised by Don Quixote, albeit he looked upon him as a madman? power of
flattery, how far-reaching art thou, and how wide are the bounds of thy
pleasant jurisdiction! Don Lorenzo gave a proof of it, for he complied with Don
Quixote's request and entreaty, and repeated to him this sonnet on the fable or
story of Pyramus and Thisbe.
Sonnet
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The lovely maid, she pierces now the wall; |
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Heart-pierced by her young Pyramus doth lie; |
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And Love spreads wing from Cyprus isle to fly, |
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A chink to view so wondrous great and small. |
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There silence speaketh, for no voice at all |
5
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Can pass so strait a strait; but love will ply
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Where to all other power 'twere vain to try; |
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For love will find a way whate'er befall. |
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Impatient of delay, with reckless pace |
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The rash maid wins the fatal spot where she |
10
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Sinks not in lover's arms but death's embrace. |
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So runs the strange tale, how the lovers twain |
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One sword, one sepulchre, one memory, |
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Slays, and entombs, and brings to life again. |
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"Blessed be God," said Don Quixote when he had heard Don Lorenzo's
sonnet, "that among the hosts there are of irritable poets I have found one
consummate one, which, senor, the art of this sonnet proves to me that you
are!"
For four days was Don Quixote most sumptuously entertained in Don
Diego's house, at the end of which time he asked his permission to depart,
telling him he thanked him for the kindness and hospitality he had received in
his house, but that, as it did not become knights-errant to give themselves up
for long to idleness and luxury, he was anxious to fulfill the duties of his
calling in seeking adventures, of which he was informed there was an abundance
in that neighbourhood, where he hoped to employ his time until the day came
round for the jousts at Saragossa, for that was his proper destination; and
that, first of all, he meant to enter the cave of Montesinos, of which so many
marvellous things were reported all through the country, and at the same time
to investigate and explore the origin and true source of the seven lakes
commonly called the lakes of Ruidera.
Don Diego and his son commended his laudable resolution, and bade
him furnish himself with all he wanted from their house and belongings, as they
would most gladly be of service to him; which, indeed, his personal worth and
his honourable profession made incumbent upon them.
The day of his departure came at length, as welcome to Don Quixote
as it was sad and sorrowful to Sancho Panza, who was very well satisfied with
the abundance of Don Diego's house, and objected to return to the starvation of
the woods and wilds and the short-commons of his ill-stocked alforjas; these,
however, he filled and packed with what he considered needful. On taking leave,
Don Quixote said to Don Lorenzo, "I know not whether I have told you already,
but if I have I tell you once more, that if you wish to spare yourself fatigue
and toil in reaching the inaccessible summit of the temple of fame, you have
nothing to do but to turn aside out of the somewhat narrow path of poetry and
take the still narrower one of knight-errantry, wide enough, however, to make
you an emperor in the twinkling of an eye."
In this speech Don Quixote wound up the evidence of his madness,
but still better in what he added when he said, "God knows, I would gladly take
Don Lorenzo with me to teach him how to spare the humble, and trample the proud
under foot, virtues that are part and parcel of the profession I belong to; but
since his tender age does not allow of it, nor his praiseworthy pursuits permit
it, I will simply content myself with impressing it upon your worship that you
will become famous as a poet if you are guided by the opinion of others rather
than by your own; because no fathers or mothers ever think their own children
ill-favoured, and this sort of deception prevails still more strongly in the
case of the children of the brain."
Both father and son were amazed afresh at the strange medley Don
Quixote talked, at one moment sense, at another nonsense, and at the
pertinacity and persistence he displayed in going through thick and thin in
quest of his unlucky adventures, which he made the end and aim of his desires.
There was a renewal of offers of service and civilities, and then, with the
gracious permission of the lady of the castle, they took their departure, Don
Quixote on Rocinante, and Sancho on Dapple.
  Chapter XIX
In which is related the adventure of the enamoured
shepherd, together with other truly droll incidents
Don Quixote had gone but a short distance beyond Don Diego's
village, when he fell in with a couple of either priests or students, and a
couple of peasants, mounted on four beasts of the ass kind. One of the students
carried, wrapped up in a piece of green buckram by way of a portmanteau, what
seemed to be a little linen and a couple of pairs of-ribbed stockings; the
other carried nothing but a pair of new fencing-foils with buttons. The
peasants carried divers articles that showed they were on their way from some
large town where they had bought them, and were taking them home to their
village; and both students and peasants were struck with the same amazement
that everybody felt who saw Don Quixote for the first time, and were dying to
know who this man, so different from ordinary men, could be. Don Quixote
saluted them, and after ascertaining that their road was the same as his, made
them an offer of his company, and begged them to slacken their pace, as their
young asses travelled faster than his horse; and then, to gratify them, he told
them in a few words who he was and the calling and profession he followed,
which was that of a knight-errant seeking adventures in all parts of the world.
He informed them that his own name was Don Quixote of La Mancha, and that he
was called, by way of surname, the Knight of the Lions.
All this was Greek or gibberish to the peasants, but not so to the
students, who very soon perceived the crack in Don Quixote's pate; for all
that, however, they regarded him with admiration and respect, and one of them
said to him, "If you, sir knight, have no fixed road, as it is the way with
those who seek adventures not to have any, let your worship come with us; you
will see one of the finest and richest weddings that up to this day have ever
been celebrated in La Mancha, or for many a league round."
Don Quixote asked him if it was some prince's, that he spoke of it
in this way. "Not at all," said the student; "it is the wedding of a farmer and
a farmer's daughter, he the richest in all this country, and she the fairest
mortal ever set eyes on. The display with which it is to be attended will be
something rare and out of the common, for it will be celebrated in a meadow
adjoining the town of the bride, who is called, par excellence, Quiteria the
fair, as the bridegroom is called Camacho the rich. She is eighteen, and he
twenty-two, and they are fairly matched, though some knowing ones, who have all
the pedigrees in the world by heart, will have it that the family of the fair
Quiteria is better than Camacho's; but no one minds that now-a-days, for wealth
can solder a great many flaws. At any rate, Camacho is free-handed, and it is
his fancy to screen the whole meadow with boughs and cover it in overhead, so
that the sun will have hard work if he tries to get in to reach the grass that
covers the soil. He has provided dancers too, not only sword but also
bell-dancers, for in his own town there are those who ring the changes and
jingle the bells to perfection; of shoe-dancers I say nothing, for of them he
has engaged a host. But none of these things, nor of the many others I have
omitted to mention, will do more to make this a memorable wedding than the part
which I suspect the despairing Basilio will play in it. This Basilio is a youth
of the same village as Quiteria, and he lived in the house next door to that of
her parents, of which circumstance Love took advantage to reproduce to the word
the long-forgotten loves of Pyramus and Thisbe; for Basilio loved Quiteria from
his earliest years, and she responded to his passion with countless modest
proofs of affection, so that the loves of the two children, Basilio and
Quiteria, were the talk and the amusement of the town. As they grew up, the
father of Quiteria made up his mind to refuse Basilio his wonted freedom of
access to the house, and to relieve himself of constant doubts and suspicions,
he arranged a match for his daughter with the rich Camacho, as he did not
approve of marrying her to Basilio, who had not so large a share of the gifts
of fortune as of nature; for if the truth be told ungrudgingly, he is the most
agile youth we know, a mighty thrower of the bar, a first-rate wrestler, and a
great ball-player; he runs like a deer, and leaps better than a goat, bowls
over the nine-pins as if by magic, sings like a lark, plays the guitar so as to
make it speak, and, above all, handles a sword as well as the best."
"For that excellence alone," said Don Quixote at this, "the youth
deserves to marry, not merely the fair Quiteria, but Queen Guinevere herself,
were she alive now, in spite of Launcelot and all who would try to prevent it."
"Say that to my wife," said Sancho, who had until now listened in
silence, "for she won't hear of anything but each one marrying his equal,
holding with the proverb 'each ewe to her like.' What I would like is that this
good Basilio (for I am beginning to take a fancy to him already) should marry
this lady Quiteria; and a blessing and good luck- I meant to say the opposite-
on people who would prevent those who love one another from marrying."
"If all those who love one another were to marry," said Don
Quixote, "it would deprive parents of the right to choose, and marry their
children to the proper person and at the proper time; and if it was left to
daughters to choose husbands as they pleased, one would be for choosing her
father's servant, and another, some one she has seen passing in the street and
fancies gallant and dashing, though he may be a drunken bully; for love and
fancy easily blind the eyes of the judgment, so much wanted in choosing one's
way of life; and the matrimonial choice is very liable to error, and it needs
great caution and the special favour of heaven to make it a good one. He who
has to make a long journey, will, if he is wise, look out for some trusty and
pleasant companion to accompany him before he sets out. Why, then, should not
he do the same who has to make the whole journey of life down to the final
halting-place of death, more especially when the companion has to be his
companion in bed, at board, and everywhere, as the wife is to her husband? The
companionship of one's wife is no article of merchandise, that, after it has
been bought, may be returned, or bartered, or changed; for it is an inseparable
accident that lasts as long as life lasts; it is a noose that, once you put it
round your neck, turns into a Gordian knot, which, if the scythe of Death does
not cut it, there is no untying. I could say a great deal more on this subject,
were I not prevented by the anxiety I feel to know if the senor licentiate has
anything more to tell about the story of Basilio."
To this the student, bachelor, or, as Don Quixote called him,
licentiate, replied, "I have nothing whatever to say further, but that from the
moment Basilio learned that the fair Quiteria was to be married to Camacho the
rich, he has never been seen to smile, or heard to utter rational word, and he
always goes about moody and dejected, talking to himself in a way that shows
plainly he is out of his senses. He eats little and sleeps little, and all he
eats is fruit, and when he sleeps, if he sleeps at all, it is in the field on
the hard earth like a brute beast. Sometimes he gazes at the sky, at other
times he fixes his eyes on the earth in such an abstracted way that he might be
taken for a clothed statue, with its drapery stirred by the wind. In short, he
shows such signs of a heart crushed by suffering, that all we who know him
believe that when to-morrow the fair Quiteria says 'yes,' it will be his
sentence of death."
"God will guide it better," said Sancho, "for God who gives the
wound gives the salve; nobody knows what will happen; there are a good many
hours between this and to-morrow, and any one of them, or any moment, the house
may fall; I have seen the rain coming down and the sun shining all at one time;
many a one goes to bed in good health who can't stir the next day. And tell me,
is there anyone who can boast of having driven a nail into the wheel of
fortune? No, faith; and between a woman's 'yes' and 'no' I wouldn't venture to
put the point of a pin, for there would not be room for it; if you tell me
Quiteria loves Basilio heart and soul, then I'll give him a bag of good luck;
for love, I have heard say, looks through spectacles that make copper seem
gold, poverty wealth, and blear eyes pearls."
"What art thou driving at, Sancho? curses on thee!" said Don
Quixote; "for when thou takest to stringing proverbs and sayings together, no
one can understand thee but Judas himself, and I wish he had thee. Tell me,
thou animal, what dost thou know about nails or wheels, or anything else?"
"Oh, if you don't understand me," replied Sancho, "it is no wonder
my words are taken for nonsense; but no matter; I understand myself, and I know
I have not said anything very foolish in what I have said; only your worship,
senor, is always gravelling at everything I say, nay, everything I do."
"Cavilling, not gravelling," said Don Quixote, "thou prevaricator
of honest language, God confound thee!"
"Don't find fault with me, your worship," returned Sancho, "for
you know I have not been bred up at court or trained at Salamanca, to know
whether I am adding or dropping a letter or so in my words. Why! God bless me,
it's not fair to force a Sayago-man to speak like a Toledan; maybe there are
Toledans who do not hit it off when it comes to polished talk."
"That is true," said the licentiate, "for those who have been bred
up in the Tanneries and the Zocodover cannot talk like those who are almost all
day pacing the cathedral cloisters, and yet they are all Toledans. Pure,
correct, elegant and lucid language will be met with in men of courtly breeding
and discrimination, though they may have been born in Majalahonda; I say of
discrimination, because there are many who are not so, and discrimination is
the grammar of good language, if it be accompanied by practice. I, sirs, for my
sins have studied canon law at Salamanca, and I rather pique myself on
expressing my meaning in clear, plain, and intelligible language."
"If you did not pique yourself more on your dexterity with those
foils you carry than on dexterity of tongue," said the other student, "you
would have been head of the degrees, where you are now tail."
"Look here, bachelor Corchuelo," returned the licentiate, "you
have the most mistaken idea in the world about skill with the sword, if you
think it useless."
"It is no idea on my part, but an established truth," replied
Corchuelo; "and if you wish me to prove it to you by experiment, you have
swords there, and it is a good opportunity; I have a steady hand and a strong
arm, and these joined with my resolution, which is not small, will make you
confess that I am not mistaken. Dismount and put in practice your positions and
circles and angles and science, for I hope to make you see stars at noonday
with my rude raw swordsmanship, in which, next to God, I place my trust that
the man is yet to be born who will make me turn my back, and that there is not
one in the world I will not compel to give ground."
"As to whether you turn your back or not, I do not concern
myself," replied the master of fence; "though it might be that your grave would
be dug on the spot where you planted your foot the first time; I mean that you
would be stretched dead there for despising skill with the sword."
"We shall soon see," replied Corchuelo, and getting off his ass
briskly, he drew out furiously one of the swords the licentiate carried on his
beast.
"It must not be that way," said Don Quixote at this point; "I will
be the director of this fencing match, and judge of this often disputed
question;" and dismounting from Rocinante and grasping his lance, he planted
himself in the middle of the road, just as the licentiate, with an easy,
graceful bearing and step, advanced towards Corchuelo, who came on against him,
darting fire from his eyes, as the saying is. The other two of the company, the
peasants, without dismounting from their asses, served as spectators of the
mortal tragedy. The cuts, thrusts, down strokes, back strokes and doubles, that
Corchuelo delivered were past counting, and came thicker than hops or hail. He
attacked like an angry lion, but he was met by a tap on the mouth from the
button of the licentiate's sword that checked him in the midst of his furious
onset, and made him kiss it as if it were a relic, though not as devoutly as
relics are and ought to he kissed. The end of it was that the licentiate
reckoned up for him by thrusts every one of the buttons of the short cassock he
wore, tore the skirts into strips, like the tails of a cuttlefish, knocked off
his hat twice, and so completely tired him out, that in vexation, anger, and
rage, he took the sword by the hilt and flung it away with such force, that one
of the peasants that were there, who was a notary, and who went for it, made an
affidavit afterwards that he sent it nearly three-quarters of a league, which
testimony will serve, and has served, to show and establish with all certainty
that strength is overcome by skill.
Corchuelo sat down wearied, and Sancho approaching him said, "By
my faith, senor bachelor, if your worship takes my advice, you will never
challenge anyone to fence again, only to wrestle and throw the bar, for you
have the youth and strength for that; but as for these fencers as they call
them, I have heard say they can put the point of a sword through the eye of a
needle."
"I am satisfied with having tumbled off my donkey," said
Corchuelo, "and with having had the truth I was so ignorant of proved to me by
experience;" and getting up he embraced the licentiate, and they were better
friends than ever; and not caring to wait for the notary who had gone for the
sword, as they saw he would be a long time about it, they resolved to push on
so as to reach the village of Quiteria, to which they all belonged, in good
time.
During the remainder of the journey the licentiate held forth to
them on the excellences of the sword, with such conclusive arguments, and such
figures and mathematical proofs, that all were convinced of the value of the
science, and Corchuelo cured of his dogmatism.
It grew dark; but before they reached the town it seemed to them
all as if there was a heaven full of countless glittering stars in front of it.
They heard, too, the pleasant mingled notes of a variety of instruments,
flutes, drums, psalteries, pipes, tabors, and timbrels, and as they drew near
they perceived that the trees of a leafy arcade that had been constructed at
the entrance of the town were filled with lights unaffected by the wind, for
the breeze at the time was so gentle that it had not power to stir the leaves
on the trees. The musicians were the life of the wedding, wandering through the
pleasant grounds in separate bands, some dancing, others singing, others
playing the various instruments already mentioned. In short, it seemed as
though mirth and gaiety were frisking and gambolling all over the meadow.
Several other persons were engaged in erecting raised benches from which people
might conveniently see the plays and dances that were to be performed the next
day on the spot dedicated to the celebration of the marriage of Camacho the
rich and the obsequies of Basilio. Don Quixote would not enter the village,
although the peasant as well as the bachelor pressed him; he excused himself,
however, on the grounds, amply sufficient in his opinion, that it was the
custom of knights-errant to sleep in the fields and woods in preference to
towns, even were it under gilded ceilings; and so turned aside a little out of
the road, very much against Sancho's will, as the good quarters he had enjoyed
in the castle or house of Don Diego came back to his mind.
  Chapter XX
Wherein an account is given of the wedding of
Camacho the Rich, together with the incident of Basilio the Poor
Scarce had the fair Aurora given bright Phoebus time to dry the
liquid pearls upon her golden locks with the heat of his fervent rays, when Don
Quixote, shaking off sloth from his limbs, sprang to his feet and called to his
squire Sancho, who was still snoring; seeing which Don Quixote ere he roused
him thus addressed him: "Happy thou, above all the dwellers on the face of the
earth, that, without envying or being envied, sleepest with tranquil mind, and
that neither enchanters persecute nor enchantments affright. Sleep, I say, and
will say a hundred times, without any jealous thoughts of thy mistress to make
thee keep ceaseless vigils, or any cares as to how thou art to pay the debts
thou owest, or find to-morrow's food for thyself and thy needy little family,
to interfere with thy repose. Ambition breaks not thy rest, nor doth this
world's empty pomp disturb thee, for the utmost reach of thy anxiety is to
provide for thy ass, since upon my shoulders thou hast laid the support of
thyself, the counterpoise and burden that nature and custom have imposed upon
masters. The servant sleeps and the master lies awake thinking how he is to
feed him, advance him, and reward him. The distress of seeing the sky turn
brazen, and withhold its needful moisture from the earth, is not felt by the
servant but by the master, who in time of scarcity and famine must support him
who has served him in times of plenty and abundance."
To all this Sancho made no reply because he was asleep, nor would
he have wakened up so soon as he did had not Don Quixote brought him to his
senses with the butt of his lance. He awoke at last, drowsy and lazy, and
casting his eyes about in every direction, observed, "There comes, if I don't
mistake, from the quarter of that arcade a steam and a smell a great deal more
like fried rashers than galingale or thyme; a wedding that begins with smells
like that, by my faith, ought to be plentiful and unstinting."
"Have done, thou glutton," said Don Quixote; "come, let us go and
witness this bridal, and see what the rejected Basilio does."
"Let him do what he likes," returned Sancho; "be he not poor, he
would marry Quiteria. To make a grand match for himself, and he without a
farthing; is there nothing else? Faith, senor, it's my opinion the poor man
should be content with what he can get, and not go looking for dainties in the
bottom of the sea. I will bet my arm that Camacho could bury Basilio in reals;
and if that be so, as no doubt it is, what a fool Quiteria would be to refuse
the fine dresses and jewels Camacho must have given her and will give her, and
take Basilio's bar-throwing and sword-play. They won't give a pint of wine at
the tavern for a good cast of the bar or a neat thrust of the sword. Talents
and accomplishments that can't be turned into money, let Count Dirlos have
them; but when such gifts fall to one that has hard cash, I wish my condition
of life was as becoming as they are. On a good foundation you can raise a good
building, and the best foundation in the world is money."
"For God's sake, Sancho," said Don Quixote here, "stop that
harangue; it is my belief, if thou wert allowed to continue all thou beginnest
every instant, thou wouldst have no time left for eating or sleeping; for thou
wouldst spend it all in talking."
"If your worship had a good memory," replied Sancho, "you would
remember the articles of our agreement before we started from home this last
time; one of them was that I was to be let say all I liked, so long as it was
not against my neighbour or your worship's authority; and so far, it seems to
me, I have not broken the said article."
"I remember no such article, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "and even
if it were so, I desire you to hold your tongue and come along; for the
instruments we heard last night are already beginning to enliven the valleys
again, and no doubt the marriage will take place in the cool of the morning,
and not in the heat of the afternoon."
Sancho did as his master bade him, and putting the saddle on
Rocinante and the pack-saddle on Dapple, they both mounted and at a leisurely
pace entered the arcade. The first thing that presented itself to Sancho's eyes
was a whole ox spitted on a whole elm tree, and in the fire at which it was to
be roasted there was burning a middling-sized mountain of faggots, and six
stewpots that stood round the blaze had not been made in the ordinary mould of
common pots, for they were six half wine-jars, each fit to hold the contents of
a slaughter-house; they swallowed up whole sheep and hid them away in their
insides without showing any more sign of them than if they were pigeons.
Countless were the hares ready skinned and the plucked fowls that hung on the
trees for burial in the pots, numberless the wildfowl and game of various sorts
suspended from the branches that the air might keep them cool. Sancho counted
more than sixty wine skins of over six gallons each, and all filled, as it
proved afterwards, with generous wines. There were, besides, piles of the
whitest bread, like the heaps of corn one sees on the threshing-floors. There
was a wall made of cheeses arranged like open brick-work, and two cauldrons
full of oil, bigger than those of a dyer's shop, served for cooking fritters,
which when fried were taken out with two mighty shovels, and plunged into
another cauldron of prepared honey that stood close by. Of cooks and cook-maids
there were over fifty, all clean, brisk, and blithe. In the capacious belly of
the ox were a dozen soft little sucking-pigs, which, sewn up there, served to
give it tenderness and flavour. The spices of different kinds did not seem to
have been bought by the pound but by the quarter, and all lay open to view in a
great chest. In short, all the preparations made for the wedding were in rustic
style, but abundant enough to feed an army.
Sancho observed all, contemplated all, and everything won his
heart. The first to captivate and take his fancy were the pots, out of which he
would have very gladly helped himself to a moderate pipkinful; then the wine
skins secured his affections; and lastly, the produce of the frying-pans, if,
indeed, such imposing cauldrons may be called frying-pans; and unable to
control himself or bear it any longer, he approached one of the busy cooks and
civilly but hungrily begged permission to soak a scrap of bread in one of the
pots; to which the cook made answer, "Brother, this is not a day on which
hunger is to have any sway, thanks to the rich Camacho; get down and look about
for a ladle and skim off a hen or two, and much good may they do you."
"I don't see one," said Sancho.
"Wait a bit," said the cook; "sinner that I am! how particular and
bashful you are!" and so saying, he seized a bucket and plunging it into one of
the half jars took up three hens and a couple of geese, and said to Sancho,
"Fall to, friend, and take the edge off your appetite with these skimmings
until dinner-time comes."
"I have nothing to put them in," said Sancho.
"Well then," said the cook, "take spoon and all; for Camacho's
wealth and happiness furnish everything."
While Sancho fared thus, Don Quixote was watching the entrance, at
one end of the arcade, of some twelve peasants, all in holiday and gala dress,
mounted on twelve beautiful mares with rich handsome field trappings and a
number of little bells attached to their petrals, who, marshalled in regular
order, ran not one but several courses over the meadow, with jubilant shouts
and cries of "Long live Camacho and Quiteria! he as rich as she is fair; and
she the fairest on earth!"
Hearing this, Don Quixote said to himself, "It is easy to see
these folk have never seen my Dulcinea del Toboso; for if they had they would
be more moderate in their praises of this Quiteria of theirs."
Shortly after this, several bands of dancers of various sorts
began to enter the arcade at different points, and among them one of
sword-dancers composed of some four-and-twenty lads of gallant and
high-spirited mien, clad in the finest and whitest of linen, and with
handkerchiefs embroidered in various colours with fine silk; and one of those
on the mares asked an active youth who led them if any of the dancers had been
wounded. "As yet, thank God, no one has been wounded," said he, "we are all
safe and sound;" and he at once began to execute complicated figures with the
rest of his comrades, with so many turns and so great dexterity, that although
Don Quixote was well used to see dances of the same kind, he thought he had
never seen any so good as this. He also admired another that came in composed
of fair young maidens, none of whom seemed to be under fourteen or over
eighteen years of age, all clad in green stuff, with their locks partly
braided, partly flowing loose, but all of such bright gold as to vie with the
sunbeams, and over them they wore garlands of jessamine, roses, amaranth, and
honeysuckle. At their head were a venerable old man and an ancient dame, more
brisk and active, however, than might have been expected from their years. The
notes of a Zamora bagpipe accompanied them, and with modesty in their
countenances and in their eyes, and lightness in their feet, they looked the
best dancers in the world.
Following these there came an artistic dance of the sort they call
"speaking dances." It was composed of eight nymphs in two files, with the god
Cupid leading one and Interest the other, the former furnished with wings, bow,
quiver and arrows, the latter in a rich dress of gold and silk of divers
colours. The nymphs that followed Love bore their names written on white
parchment in large letters on their backs. "Poetry" was the name of the first,
"Wit" of the second, "Birth" of the third, and "Valour" of the fourth. Those
that followed Interest were distinguished in the same way; the badge of the
first announced "Liberality," that of the second "Largess," the third
"Treasure," and the fourth "Peaceful Possession." In front of them all came a
wooden castle drawn by four wild men, all clad in ivy and hemp stained green,
and looking so natural that they nearly terrified Sancho. On the front of the
castle and on each of the four sides of its frame it bore the inscription
"Castle of Caution." Four skillful tabor and flute players accompanied them,
and the dance having been opened, Cupid, after executing two figures, raised
his eyes and bent his bow against a damsel who stood between the turrets of the
castle, and thus addressed her:
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I am the mighty God whose sway |
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Is potent over land and sea. |
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The heavens above us own me; nay, |
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The shades below acknowledge me. |
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I know not fear, I have my will, |
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Whate'er my whim or fancy be; |
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For me there's no impossible, |
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I order, bind, forbid, set free. |
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Having concluded the stanza he discharged an
arrow at the top of the castle, and went back to his place. Interest then came
forward and went through two more figures, and as soon as the tabors ceased, he
said:
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But mightier than Love am I, |
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Though Love it be that leads me on, |
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Than mine no lineage is more high, |
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Or older, underneath the sun. |
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To use me rightly few know how, |
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To act without me fewer still, |
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For I am Interest, and I vow |
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For evermore to do thy will. |
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Interest retired, and Poetry came forward,
and when she had gone through her figures like the others, fixing her eyes on
the damsel of the castle, she said:
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With many a fanciful conceit, |
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Fair Lady, winsome Poesy |
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Her soul, an offering at thy feet, |
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Presents in sonnets unto thee. |
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If thou my homage wilt not scorn, |
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Thy fortune, watched by envious eyes, |
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On wings of poesy upborne |
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Shall be exalted to the skies. |
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Poetry withdrew, and on the side of Interest
Liberality advanced, and after having gone through her figures, said:
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To give, while shunning each extreme, |
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The sparing hand, the over-free, |
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Therein consists, so wise men deem, |
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The virtue Liberality. |
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But thee, fair lady, to enrich, |
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Myself a prodigal I'll prove, |
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A vice not wholly shameful, which |
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May find its fair excuse in love. |
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In the same manner all the characters of the two bands advanced
and retired, and each executed its figures, and delivered its verses, some of
them graceful, some burlesque, but Don Quixote's memory (though he had an
excellent one) only carried away those that have been just quoted. All then
mingled together, forming chains and breaking off again with graceful,
unconstrained gaiety; and whenever Love passed in front of the castle he shot
his arrows up at it, while Interest broke gilded pellets against it. At length,
after they had danced a good while, Interest drew out a great purse, made of
the skin of a large brindled cat and to all appearance full of money, and flung
it at the castle, and with the force of the blow the boards fell asunder and
tumbled down, leaving the damsel exposed and unprotected. Interest and the
characters of his band advanced, and throwing a great chain of gold over her
neck pretended to take her and lead her away captive, on seeing which, Love and
his supporters made as though they would release her, the whole action being to
the accompaniment of the tabors and in the form of a regular dance. The wild
men made peace between them, and with great dexterity readjusted and fixed the
boards of the castle, and the damsel once more ensconced herself within; and
with this the dance wound up, to the great enjoyment of the beholders.
Don Quixote asked one of the nymphs who it was that had composed
and arranged it. She replied that it was a beneficiary of the town who had a
nice taste in devising things of the sort. "I will lay a wager," said Don
Quixote, "that the same bachelor or beneficiary is a greater friend of
Camacho's than of Basilio's, and that he is better at satire than at vespers;
he has introduced the accomplishments of Basilio and the riches of Camacho very
neatly into the dance." Sancho Panza, who was listening to all this, exclaimed,
"The king is my cock; I stick to Camacho." "It is easy to see thou art a clown,
Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and one of that sort that cry 'Long life to the
conqueror.'"
"I don't know of what sort I am," returned Sancho, "but I know
very well I'll never get such elegant skimmings off Basilio's pots as these I
have got off Camacho's;" and he showed him the bucketful of geese and hens, and
seizing one began to eat with great gaiety and appetite, saying, "A fig for the
accomplishments of Basilio! As much as thou hast so much art thou worth, and as
much as thou art worth so much hast thou. As a grandmother of mine used to say,
there are only two families in the world, the Haves and the Haven'ts; and she
stuck to the Haves; and to this day, Senor Don Quixote, people would sooner
feel the pulse of 'Have,' than of 'Know;' an ass covered with gold looks better
than a horse with a pack-saddle. So once more I say I stick to Camacho, the
bountiful skimmings of whose pots are geese and hens, hares and rabbits; but of
Basilio's, if any ever come to hand, or even to foot, they'll be only
rinsings."
"Hast thou finished thy harangue, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. "Of
course I have finished it," replied Sancho, "because I see your worship takes
offence at it; but if it was not for that, there was work enough cut out for
three days."
"God grant I may see thee dumb before I die, Sancho," said Don
Quixote.
"At the rate we are going," said Sancho, "I'll be chewing clay
before your worship dies; and then, maybe, I'll be so dumb that I'll not say a
word until the end of the world, or, at least, till the day of judgment."
"Even should that happen, O Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thy
silence will never come up to all thou hast talked, art talking, and wilt talk
all thy life; moreover, it naturally stands to reason, that my death will come
before thine; so I never expect to see thee dumb, not even when thou art
drinking or sleeping, and that is the utmost I can say."
"In good faith, senor," replied Sancho, "there's no trusting that
fleshless one, I mean Death, who devours the lamb as soon as the sheep, and, as
I have heard our curate say, treads with equal foot upon the lofty towers of
kings and the lowly huts of the poor. That lady is more mighty than dainty, she
is no way squeamish, she devours all and is ready for all, and fills her
alforjas with people of all sorts, ages, and ranks. She is no reaper that
sleeps out the noontide; at all times she is reaping and cutting down, as well
the dry grass as the green; she never seems to chew, but bolts and swallows all
that is put before her, for she has a canine appetite that is never satisfied;
and though she has no belly, she shows she has a dropsy and is athirst to drink
the lives of all that live, as one would drink a jug of cold water."
"Say no more, Sancho," said Don Quixote at this; "don't try to
better it, and risk a fall; for in truth what thou hast said about death in thy
rustic phrase is what a good preacher might have said. I tell thee, Sancho, if
thou hadst discretion equal to thy mother wit, thou mightst take a pulpit in
hand, and go about the world preaching fine sermons." "He preaches well who
lives well," said Sancho, "and I know no more theology than that."
"Nor needst thou," said Don Quixote, "but I cannot conceive or
make out how it is that, the fear of God being the beginning of wisdom, thou,
who art more afraid of a lizard than of him, knowest so much."
"Pass judgment on your chivalries, senor," returned Sancho, "and
don't set yourself up to judge of other men's fears or braveries, for I am as
good a fearer of God as my neighbours; but leave me to despatch these
skimmings, for all the rest is only idle talk that we shall be called to
account for in the other world;" and so saying, he began a fresh attack on the
bucket, with such a hearty appetite that he aroused Don Quixote's, who no doubt
would have helped him had he not been prevented by what must be told farther
on.
  Chapter XXI
In which Camacho's wedding is continued, with other
delightful incidents
While Don Quixote and Sancho were engaged in the discussion set
forth the last chapter, they heard loud shouts and a great noise, which were
uttered and made by the men on the mares as they went at full gallop, shouting,
to receive the bride and bridegroom, who were approaching with musical
instruments and pageantry of all sorts around them, and accompanied by the
priest and the relatives of both, and all the most distinguished people of the
surrounding villages. When Sancho saw the bride, he exclaimed, "By my faith,
she is not dressed like a country girl, but like some fine court lady; egad, as
well as I can make out, the patena she wears rich coral, and her green Cuenca
stuff is thirty-pile velvet; and then the white linen trimming- by my oath, but
it's satin! Look at her hands- jet rings on them! May I never have luck if
they're not gold rings, and real gold, and set with pearls as white as a
curdled milk, and every one of them worth an eye of one's head! Whoreson
baggage, what hair she has! if it's not a wig, I never saw longer or fairer all
the days of my life. See how bravely she bears herself- and her shape! Wouldn't
you say she was like a walking palm tree loaded with clusters of dates? for the
trinkets she has hanging from her hair and neck look just like them. I swear in
my heart she is a brave lass, and fit 'to pass over the banks of Flanders.'"
Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's boorish eulogies and thought that,
saving his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he had never seen a more beautiful woman.
The fair Quiteria appeared somewhat pale, which was, no doubt, because of the
bad night brides always pass dressing themselves out for their wedding on the
morrow. They advanced towards a theatre that stood on one side of the meadow
decked with carpets and boughs, where they were to plight their troth, and from
which they were to behold the dances and plays; but at the moment of their
arrival at the spot they heard a loud outcry behind them, and a voice
exclaiming, "Wait a little, ye, as inconsiderate as ye are hasty!" At these
words all turned round, and perceived that the speaker was a man clad in what
seemed to be a loose black coat garnished with crimson patches like flames. He
was crowned (as was presently seen) with a crown of gloomy cypress, and in his
hand he held a long staff. As he approached he was recognised by everyone as
the gay Basilio, and all waited anxiously to see what would come of his words,
in dread of some catastrophe in consequence of his appearance at such a moment.
He came up at last weary and breathless, and planting himself in front of the
bridal pair, drove his staff, which had a steel spike at the end, into the
ground, and, with a pale face and eyes fixed on Quiteria, he thus addressed her
in a hoarse, trembling voice:
"Well dost thou know, ungrateful Quiteria, that according to the
holy law we acknowledge, so long as live thou canst take no husband; nor art
thou ignorant either that, in my hopes that time and my own exertions would
improve my fortunes, I have never failed to observe the respect due to thy
honour; but thou, casting behind thee all thou owest to my true love, wouldst
surrender what is mine to another whose wealth serves to bring him not only
good fortune but supreme happiness; and now to complete it (not that I think he
deserves it, but inasmuch as heaven is pleased to bestow it upon him), I will,
with my own hands, do away with the obstacle that may interfere with it, and
remove myself from between you. Long live the rich Camacho! many a happy year
may he live with the ungrateful Quiteria! and let the poor Basilio die, Basilio
whose poverty clipped the wings of his happiness, and brought him to the
grave!"
And so saying, he seized the staff he had driven into the ground,
and leaving one half of it fixed there, showed it to be a sheath that concealed
a tolerably long rapier; and, what may he called its hilt being planted in the
ground, he swiftly, coolly, and deliberately threw himself upon it, and in an
instant the bloody point and half the steel blade appeared at his back, the
unhappy man falling to the earth bathed in his blood, and transfixed by his own
weapon.
His friends at once ran to his aid, filled with grief at his
misery and sad fate, and Don Quixote, dismounting from Rocinante, hastened to
support him, and took him in his arms, and found he had not yet ceased to
breathe. They were about to draw out the rapier, but the priest who was
standing by objected to its being withdrawn before he had confessed him, as the
instant of its withdrawal would be that of this death. Basilio, however,
reviving slightly, said in a weak voice, as though in pain, "If thou wouldst
consent, cruel Quiteria, to give me thy hand as my bride in this last fatal
moment, I might still hope that my rashness would find pardon, as by its means
I attained the bliss of being thine."
Hearing this the priest bade him think of the welfare of his soul
rather than of the cravings of the body, and in all earnestness implore God's
pardon for his sins and for his rash resolve; to which Basilio replied that he
was determined not to confess unless Quiteria first gave him her hand in
marriage, for that happiness would compose his mind and give him courage to
make his confession.
Don Quixote hearing the wounded man's entreaty, exclaimed aloud
that what Basilio asked was just and reasonable, and moreover a request that
might be easily complied with; and that it would be as much to Senor Camacho's
honour to receive the lady Quiteria as the widow of the brave Basilio as if he
received her direct from her father.
"In this case," said he, "it will be only to say 'yes,' and no
consequences can follow the utterance of the word, for the nuptial couch of
this marriage must be the grave."
Camacho was listening to all this, perplexed and bewildered and
not knowing what to say or do; but so urgent were the entreaties of Basilio's
friends, imploring him to allow Quiteria to give him her hand, so that his
soul, quitting this life in despair, should not be lost, that they moved, nay,
forced him, to say that if Quiteria were willing to give it he was satisfied,
as it was only putting off the fulfillment of his wishes for a moment. At once
all assailed Quiteria and pressed her, some with prayers, and others with
tears, and others with persuasive arguments, to give her hand to poor Basilio;
but she, harder than marble and more unmoved than any statue, seemed unable or
unwilling to utter a word, nor would she have given any reply had not the
priest bade her decide quickly what she meant to do, as Basilio now had his
soul at his teeth, and there was no time for hesitation.
On this the fair Quiteria, to all appearance distressed, grieved,
and repentant, advanced without a word to where Basilio lay, his eyes already
turned in his head, his breathing short and painful, murmuring the name of
Quiteria between his teeth, and apparently about to die like a heathen and not
like a Christian. Quiteria approached him, and kneeling, demanded his hand by
signs without speaking. Basilio opened his eyes and gazing fixedly at her,
said, "O Quiteria, why hast thou turned compassionate at a moment when thy
compassion will serve as a dagger to rob me of life, for I have not now the
strength left either to bear the happiness thou givest me in accepting me as
thine, or to suppress the pain that is rapidly drawing the dread shadow of
death over my eyes? What I entreat of thee, O thou fatal star to me, is that
the hand thou demandest of me and wouldst give me, be not given out of
complaisance or to deceive me afresh, but that thou confess and declare that
without any constraint upon thy will thou givest it to me as to thy lawful
husband; for it is not meet that thou shouldst trifle with me at such a moment
as this, or have recourse to falsehoods with one who has dealt so truly by
thee."
While uttering these words he showed such weakness that the
bystanders expected each return of faintness would take his life with it. Then
Quiteria, overcome with modesty and shame, holding in her right hand the hand
of Basilio, said, "No force would bend my will; as freely, therefore, as it is
possible for me to do so, I give thee the hand of a lawful wife, and take thine
if thou givest it to me of thine own free will, untroubled and unaffected by
the calamity thy hasty act has brought upon thee."
"Yes, I give it," said Basilio, "not agitated or distracted, but
with unclouded reason that heaven is pleased to grant me, thus do I give myself
to be thy husband."
"And I give myself to be thy wife," said Quiteria, "whether thou
livest many years, or they carry thee from my arms to the grave."
"For one so badly wounded," observed Sancho at this point, "this
young man has a great deal to say; they should make him leave off billing and
cooing, and attend to his soul; for to my thinking he has it more on his tongue
than at his teeth."
Basilio and Quiteria having thus joined hands, the priest, deeply
moved and with tears in his eyes, pronounced the blessing upon them, and
implored heaven to grant an easy passage to the soul of the newly wedded man,
who, the instant he received the blessing, started nimbly to his feet and with
unparalleled effrontery pulled out the rapier that had been sheathed in his
body. All the bystanders were astounded, and some, more simple than inquiring,
began shouting, "A miracle, a miracle!" But Basilio replied, "No miracle, no
miracle; only a trick, a trick!" The priest, perplexed and amazed, made haste
to examine the wound with both hands, and found that the blade had passed, not
through Basilio's flesh and ribs, but through a hollow iron tube full of blood,
which he had adroitly fixed at the place, the blood, as was afterwards
ascertained, having been so prepared as not to congeal. In short, the priest
and Camacho and most of those present saw they were tricked and made fools of.
The bride showed no signs of displeasure at the deception; on the contrary,
hearing them say that the marriage, being fraudulent, would not be valid, she
said that she confirmed it afresh, whence they all concluded that the affair
had been planned by agreement and understanding between the pair, whereat
Camacho and his supporters were so mortified that they proceeded to revenge
themselves by violence, and a great number of them drawing their swords
attacked Basilio, in whose protection as many more swords were in an instant
unsheathed, while Don Quixote taking the lead on horseback, with his lance over
his arm and well covered with his shield, made all give way before him. Sancho,
who never found any pleasure or enjoyment in such doings, retreated to the
wine-jars from which he had taken his delectable skimmings, considering that,
as a holy place, that spot would be respected.
"Hold, sirs, hold!" cried Don Quixote in a loud voice; "we have no
right to take vengeance for wrongs that love may do to us: remember love and
war are the same thing, and as in war it is allowable and common to make use of
wiles and stratagems to overcome the enemy, so in the contests and rivalries of
love the tricks and devices employed to attain the desired end are justifiable,
provided they be not to the discredit or dishonour of the loved object.
Quiteria belonged to Basilio and Basilio to Quiteria by the just and beneficent
disposal of heaven. Camacho is rich, and can purchase his pleasure when, where,
and as it pleases him. Basilio has but this ewe-lamb, and no one, however
powerful he may be, shall take her from him; these two whom God hath joined man
cannot separate; and he who attempts it must first pass the point of this
lance;" and so saying he brandished it so stoutly and dexterously that he
overawed all who did not know him.
But so deep an impression had the rejection of Quiteria made on
Camacho's mind that it banished her at once from his thoughts; and so the
counsels of the priest, who was a wise and kindly disposed man, prevailed with
him, and by their means he and his partisans were pacified and tranquillised,
and to prove it put up their swords again, inveighing against the pliancy of
Quiteria rather than the craftiness of Basilio; Camacho maintaining that, if
Quiteria as a maiden had such a love for Basilio, she would have loved him too
as a married woman, and that he ought to thank heaven more for having taken her
than for having given her.
Camacho and those of his following, therefore, being consoled and
pacified, those on Basilio's side were appeased; and the rich Camacho, to show
that he felt no resentment for the trick, and did not care about it, desired
the festival to go on just as if he were married in reality. Neither Basilio,
however, nor his bride, nor their followers would take any part in it, and they
withdrew to Basilio's village; for the poor, if they are persons of virtue and
good sense, have those who follow, honour, and uphold them, just as the rich
have those who flatter and dance attendance on them. With them they carried Don
Quixote, regarding him as a man of worth and a stout one. Sancho alone had a
cloud on his soul, for he found himself debarred from waiting for Camacho's
splendid feast and festival, which lasted until night; and thus dragged away,
he moodily followed his master, who accompanied Basilio's party, and left
behind him the flesh-pots of Egypt; though in his heart he took them with him,
and their now nearly finished skimmings that he carried in the bucket conjured
up visions before his eyes of the glory and abundance of the good cheer he was
losing. And so, vexed and dejected though not hungry, without dismounting from
Dapple he followed in the footsteps of Rocinante.
  Chapter XXII
Wherin is related the grand adventure of the Cave of
Montesinos in the heart of LA Mancha, which the valiant Don Quixote brought to
a happy termination
Many and great were the attentions shown to Don Quixote by the
newly married couple, who felt themselves under an obligation to him for coming
forward in defence of their cause; and they exalted his wisdom to the same
level with his courage, rating him as a Cid in arms, and a Cicero in eloquence.
Worthy Sancho enjoyed himself for three days at the expense of the pair, from
whom they learned that the sham wound was not a scheme arranged with the fair
Quiteria, but a device of Basilio's, who counted on exactly the result they had
seen; he confessed, it is true, that he had confided his idea to some of his
friends, so that at the proper time they might aid him in his purpose and
insure the success of the deception.
"That," said Don Quixote, "is not and ought not to be called
deception which aims at virtuous ends;" and the marriage of lovers he
maintained to be a most excellent end, reminding them, however, that love has
no greater enemy than hunger and constant want; for love is all gaiety,
enjoyment, and happiness, especially when the lover is in the possession of the
object of his love, and poverty and want are the declared enemies of all these;
which he said to urge Senor Basilio to abandon the practice of those
accomplishments he was skilled in, for though they brought him fame, they
brought him no money, and apply himself to the acquisition of wealth by
legitimate industry, which will never fail those who are prudent and
persevering. The poor man who is a man of honour (if indeed a poor man can be a
man of honour) has a jewel when he has a fair wife, and if she is taken from
him, his honour is taken from him and slain. The fair woman who is a woman of
honour, and whose husband is poor, deserves to be crowned with the laurels and
crowns of victory and triumph. Beauty by itself attracts the desires of all who
behold it, and the royal eagles and birds of towering flight stoop on it as on
a dainty lure; but if beauty be accompanied by want and penury, then the ravens
and the kites and other birds of prey assail it, and she who stands firm
against such attacks well deserves to be called the crown of her husband.
"Remember, O prudent Basilio," added Don Quixote, "it was the opinion of a
certain sage, I know not whom, that there was not more than one good woman in
the whole world; and his advice was that each one should think and believe that
this one good woman was his own wife, and in this way he would live happy. I
myself am not married, nor, so far, has it ever entered my thoughts to be so;
nevertheless I would venture to give advice to anyone who might ask it, as to
the mode in which he should seek a wife such as he would be content to marry.
The first thing I would recommend him, would be to look to good name rather
than to wealth, for a good woman does not win a good name merely by being good,
but by letting it he seen that she is so, and open looseness and freedom do
much more damage to a woman's honour than secret depravity. If you take a good
woman into your house it will he an easy matter to keep her good, and even to
make her still better; but if you take a bad one you will find it hard work to
mend her, for it is no very easy matter to pass from one extreme to another. I
do not say it is impossible, but I look upon it as difficult."
Sancho, listening to all this, said to himself, "This master of
mine, when I say anything that has weight and substance, says I might take a
pulpit in hand, and go about the world preaching fine sermons; but I say of him
that, when he begins stringing maxims together and giving advice not only might
he take a pulpit in hand, but two on each finger, and go into the market-places
to his heart's content. Devil take you for a knight-errant, what a lot of
things you know! I used to think in my heart that the only thing he knew was
what belonged to his chivalry; but there is nothing he won't have a finger in."
Sancho muttered this somewhat aloud, and his master overheard him,
and asked, "What art thou muttering there, Sancho?"
"I'm not saying anything or muttering anything," said Sancho; "I
was only saying to myself that I wish I had heard what your worship has said
just now before I married; perhaps I'd say now, 'The ox that's loose licks
himself well.'"
"Is thy Teresa so bad then, Sancho?"
"She is not very bad," replied Sancho; "but she is not very good;
at least she is not as good as I could wish."
"Thou dost wrong, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "to speak ill of thy
wife; for after all she is the mother of thy children." "We are quits,"
returned Sancho; "for she speaks ill of me whenever she takes it into her head,
especially when she is jealous; and Satan himself could not put up with her
then."
In fine, they remained three days with the newly married couple,
by whom they were entertained and treated like kings. Don Quixote begged the
fencing licentiate to find him a guide to show him the way to the cave of
Montesinos, as he had a great desire to enter it and see with his own eyes if
the wonderful tales that were told of it all over the country were true. The
licentiate said he would get him a cousin of his own, a famous scholar, and one
very much given to reading books of chivalry, who would have great pleasure in
conducting him to the mouth of the very cave, and would show him the lakes of
Ruidera, which were likewise famous all over La Mancha, and even all over
Spain; and he assured him he would find him entertaining, for he was a youth
who could write books good enough to be printed and dedicated to princes. The
cousin arrived at last, leading an ass in foal, with a pack-saddle covered with
a parti-coloured carpet or sackcloth; Sancho saddled Rocinante, got Dapple
ready, and stocked his alforjas, along with which went those of the cousin,
likewise well filled; and so, commending themselves to God and bidding farewell
to all, they set out, taking the road for the famous cave of Montesinos.
On the way Don Quixote asked the cousin of what sort and character
his pursuits, avocations, and studies were, to which he replied that he was by
profession a humanist, and that his pursuits and studies were making books for
the press, all of great utility and no less entertainment to the nation. One
was called "The Book of Liveries," in which he described seven hundred and
three liveries, with their colours, mottoes, and ciphers, from which gentlemen
of the court might pick and choose any they fancied for festivals and revels,
without having to go a-begging for them from anyone, or puzzling their brains,
as the saying is, to have them appropriate to their objects and purposes;
"for," said he, "I give the jealous, the rejected, the forgotten, the absent,
what will suit them, and fit them without fail. I have another book, too, which
I shall call 'Metamorphoses, or the Spanish Ovid,' one of rare and original
invention, for imitating Ovid in burlesque style, I show in it who the Giralda
of Seville and the Angel of the Magdalena were, what the sewer of Vecinguerra
at Cordova was, what the bulls of Guisando, the Sierra Morena, the Leganitos
and Lavapies fountains at Madrid, not forgetting those of the Piojo, of the
Cano Dorado, and of the Priora; and all with their allegories, metaphors, and
changes, so that they are amusing, interesting, and instructive, all at once.
Another book I have which I call 'The Supplement to Polydore Vergil,' which
treats of the invention of things, and is a work of great erudition and
research, for I establish and elucidate elegantly some things of great
importance which Polydore omitted to mention. He forgot to tell us who was the
first man in the world that had a cold in his head, and who was the first to
try salivation for the French disease, but I give it accurately set forth, and
quote more than five-and-twenty authors in proof of it, so you may perceive I
have laboured to good purpose and that the book will be of service to the whole
world."
Sancho, who had been very attentive to the cousin's words, said to
him, "Tell me, senor- and God give you luck in printing your books- can you
tell me (for of course you know, as you know everything) who was the first man
that scratched his head? For to my thinking it must have been our father Adam."
"So it must," replied the cousin; "for there is no doubt but Adam
had a head and hair; and being the first man in the world he would have
scratched himself sometimes."
"So I think," said Sancho; "but now tell me, who was the first
tumbler in the world?"
"Really, brother," answered the cousin, "I could not at this
moment say positively without having investigated it; I will look it up when I
go back to where I have my books, and will satisfy you the next time we meet,
for this will not be the last time."
"Look here, senor," said Sancho, "don't give yourself any trouble
about it, for I have just this minute hit upon what I asked you. The first
tumbler in the world, you must know, was Lucifer, when they cast or pitched him
out of heaven; for he came tumbling into the bottomless pit."
"You are right, friend," said the cousin; and said Don Quixote,
"Sancho, that question and answer are not thine own; thou hast heard them from
some one else."
"Hold your peace, senor," said Sancho; "faith, if I take to asking
questions and answering, I'll go on from this till to-morrow morning. Nay! to
ask foolish things and answer nonsense I needn't go looking for help from my
neighbours."
"Thou hast said more than thou art aware of, Sancho," said Don
Quixote; "for there are some who weary themselves out in learning and proving
things that, after they are known and proved, are not worth a farthing to the
understanding or memory."
In this and other pleasant conversation the day went by, and that
night they put up at a small hamlet whence it was not more than two leagues to
the cave of Montesinos, so the cousin told Don Quixote, adding, that if he was
bent upon entering it, it would be requisite for him to provide himself with
ropes, so that he might be tied and lowered into its depths. Don Quixote said
that even if it reached to the bottomless pit he meant to see where it went to;
so they bought about a hundred fathoms of rope, and next day at two in the
afternoon they arrived at the cave, the mouth of which is spacious and wide,
but full of thorn and wild-fig bushes and brambles and briars, so thick and
matted that they completely close it up and cover it over.
On coming within sight of it the cousin, Sancho, and Don Quixote
dismounted, and the first two immediately tied the latter very firmly with the
ropes, and as they were girding and swathing him Sancho said to him, "Mind what
you are about, master mine; don't go burying yourself alive, or putting
yourself where you'll be like a bottle put to cool in a well; it's no affair or
business of your worship's to become the explorer of this, which must be worse
than a Moorish dungeon."
"Tie me and hold thy peace," said Don Quixote, "for an emprise
like this, friend Sancho, was reserved for me;" and said the guide, "I beg of
you, Senor Don Quixote, to observe carefully and examine with a hundred eyes
everything that is within there; perhaps there may be some things for me to put
into my book of 'Transformations.'"
"The drum is in hands that will know how to beat it well enough,"
said Sancho Panza.
When he had said this and finished the tying (which was not over
the armour but only over the doublet) Don Quixote observed, "It was careless of
us not to have provided ourselves with a small cattle-bell to be tied on the
rope close to me, the sound of which would show that I was still descending and
alive; but as that is out of the question now, in God's hand be it to guide
me;" and forthwith he fell on his knees and in a low voice offered up a prayer
to heaven, imploring God to aid him and grant him success in this to all
appearance perilous and untried adventure, and then exclaimed aloud, "O
mistress of my actions and movements, illustrious and peerless Dulcinea del
Toboso, if so be the prayers and supplications of this fortunate lover can
reach thy ears, by thy incomparable beauty I entreat thee to listen to them,
for they but ask thee not to refuse me thy favour and protection now that I
stand in such need of them. I am about to precipitate, to sink, to plunge
myself into the abyss that is here before me, only to let the world know that
while thou dost favour me there is no impossibility I will not attempt and
accomplish." With these words he approached the cavern, and perceived that it
was impossible to let himself down or effect an entrance except by sheer force
or cleaving a passage; so drawing his sword he began to demolish and cut away
the brambles at the mouth of the cave, at the noise of which a vast multitude
of crows and choughs flew out of it so thick and so fast that they knocked Don
Quixote down; and if he had been as much of a believer in augury as he was a
Catholic Christian he would have taken it as a bad omen and declined to bury
himself in such a place. He got up, however, and as there came no more crows,
or night-birds like the bats that flew out at the same time with the crows, the
cousin and Sancho giving him rope, he lowered himself into the depths of the
dread cavern; and as he entered it Sancho sent his blessing after him, making a
thousand crosses over him and saying, "God, and the Pena de Francia, and the
Trinity of Gaeta guide thee, flower and cream of knights-errant. There thou
goest, thou dare-devil of the earth, heart of steel, arm of brass; once more,
God guide thee and send thee back safe, sound, and unhurt to the light of this
world thou art leaving to bury thyself in the darkness thou art seeking there;"
and the cousin offered up almost the same prayers and supplications.
Don Quixote kept calling to them to give him rope and more rope,
and they gave it out little by little, and by the time the calls, which came
out of the cave as out of a pipe, ceased to be heard they had let down the
hundred fathoms of rope. They were inclined to pull Don Quixote up again, as
they could give him no more rope; however, they waited about half an hour, at
the end of which time they began to gather in the rope again with great ease
and without feeling any weight, which made them fancy Don Quixote was remaining
below; and persuaded that it was so, Sancho wept bitterly, and hauled away in
great haste in order to settle the question. When, however, they had come to,
as it seemed, rather more than eighty fathoms they felt a weight, at which they
were greatly delighted; and at last, at ten fathoms more, they saw Don Quixote
distinctly, and Sancho called out to him, saying, "Welcome back, senor, for we
had begun to think you were going to stop there to found a family." But Don
Quixote answered not a word, and drawing him out entirely they perceived he had
his eyes shut and every appearance of being fast asleep.
They stretched him on the ground and untied hi |